Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Sarah Gailey Recounts Funny Date Between 'James Spader' & 'a Wolf'

Sarah Gailey Recounts Funny Date Between 'James Spader' & 'a Wolf'

Portland-based author treats herself to a fancy dinner and finds herself witness to the most bizarre date ever between a Wolf Girl and James Spader's doppelganger.

Hugo award finalist and novelist Sarah Gailey writes stores about murder and monsters, yet sometimes real life turns out to be stranger than fiction. This is exactly what happened when Gailey treated herself to duck at a fancy restaurant one evening, only to bear witness to a dinner date that we are still wrapping our heads around.


Note: This is a summary of Gailey's twitter-story. To read her full account unedited, go HERE.

Like a true narrator, she begins her story like so: "Who wants to hear the story of the date I witnessed between Wolf Girl and James Spader's Lonely Doppelganger? I HOPE IT'S YOU."

A man sits at an adjacent table who is the spitting image of James Spader. Sadly, he turns out not to be the esteemed actor of Stargate, The Practice, Boston Legal, and currently of The Blacklist. Gailey does a double-take before coming to this conclusion.

As she enjoys her delectable duck, the Not-James Spader constantly looks over at her as if he wants to say something. But Gailey's demeanor makes it clear that she wants to savor her meal in peace. Then things get really interesting: "Finally, a PERSON storms in and FLUMPS across from him. My overall impression is: BEDRAGGLED YOUTHSOME LADY."

Our narrator and witness to this strange encounter recounts the opening dialogue:

Not James Spader: You made it!

Bedraggled Young Lady: Yeah, sorry, I was at a rave and lost track of time.

NJS: [adjusts tie] Oh, uh, um, a rave? Like, uh, at a club?

BYL: Yeah, but it was like weird. Whatever

NJS: ...what's that you're wearing?

This is when our narrator reveals an important detail regarding the appearance of the Bedraggled Young Lady. That's right, she is wearing a wolf onesie.

Not James Spader doesn't seem all that surprised or put off.

Our narrator is feeling sorry for Not James Spader, but then Wolf Girl (formerly Bedraggled Young Lady) looks at the menu, and an even bigger plot twist unfolds. Wolf Girl complains that there is nothing good on the menu, aside from the pork.

Not James Spader gasps. "You eat pork?"

"I don't eat pork," he said with all the gravitas of a man in a suit on a date with a girl in a wolf onesie, "because pigs eat cats."

The rest of the story goes just as unexpected.

While pigs are omnivores, which means they eat both plants and animals (just like us), their general diet tends to be plant-based. So I'm afraid we have to call Not James Spader's statement about pigs mostly eating cats an alternative fact.

This is where the story ends, with Not James Spader and Wolf Girl (who turns out to be not old enough to legally drink) running off into the night in search of the weird and peculiar, perhaps at his ex-wife's bar no less, leaving us with one burning question on all of our minds:

"Do pigs really eat cats?"

We may never know. Or do we?

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

More from Trending

Screenshot of Stephen Colbert
CBS

Stephen Colbert Makes Somber Plea To Americans In Wake Of Charlie Kirk's Death

Late-night host Stephen Colbert had a somber message for Americans as he addressed the assassination of far-right activist Charlie Kirk, stressing that "political violence only leads to more political violence."

Kirk died after an unidentified gunman shot him in the neck as he—ironically enough—mocked victims of gun violence at an event in Utah Valley State University. Kirk's murder has galvanized the far-right, with President Donald Trump and his surrogates claiming without evidence that rhetoric from Democrats is responsible for Kirk's death.

Keep ReadingShow less
a woman sunbathing on rocks.
a person sitting on a towel on a beach
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

People Share The Weirdest Flexes They Heard Someone Say With A Straight Face

It is never attractive to gloat.

Even so, some people can't help but brag, or "flex" as it is sometimes known, about certain accomplishments or attributes.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @thedowntheredoc's TikTok video
@thedowntheredoc/TikTok

TikToker Hilariously Calls Out Target After Champion Pants Feature Awkwardly-Placed Front Pleat

Sometimes you can just tell when something was designed *for* women, but was not actually designed *by* women.

Take, for instance, the new pleated pants available at Target from the Champion clothing line. While there's nothing wrong with pleated pants and they certainly have a suitable spot in the workplace, the latest rendition of Champion pleated pants are, shall we say, NSFW.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @kaicutch's Instagram video
@kaicutch/Instagram

Woman Flips Her Car After Belting Out Ironic Britney Spears Lyric In Wild Viral Video

Whether we want to admit it or not, we've all had our fair share of carpool karaoke and maybe even imagined our car as our own personal recording studio.

But TikToker and Instagrammer Kaitlynn McCutcheon may have gotten too into her performance of Britney Spears' classic, "Hit Me Baby, One More Time," when the road and her car both said, "Bet."

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from ​@lynnshazeen's TikTok video
@lynnshazeen/TikTok

Woman Goes Viral After Revealing How Her Obsession With Matcha Landed Her In The Hospital

Let's be honest: Too much of anything isn't good for us. It's all about the balance!

But the media and social media trends have taught us that certain things are really good for us, encouraging us to be like the "very mindful and very demure" girls and take care of ourselves. One such example is drinking more matcha, especially if you really like coffee or think you have a caffeine addiction.

Keep ReadingShow less