Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Sarah Gailey Recounts Funny Date Between 'James Spader' & 'a Wolf'

Sarah Gailey Recounts Funny Date Between 'James Spader' & 'a Wolf'

Portland-based author treats herself to a fancy dinner and finds herself witness to the most bizarre date ever between a Wolf Girl and James Spader's doppelganger.

Hugo award finalist and novelist Sarah Gailey writes stores about murder and monsters, yet sometimes real life turns out to be stranger than fiction. This is exactly what happened when Gailey treated herself to duck at a fancy restaurant one evening, only to bear witness to a dinner date that we are still wrapping our heads around.


Note: This is a summary of Gailey's twitter-story. To read her full account unedited, go HERE.

Like a true narrator, she begins her story like so: "Who wants to hear the story of the date I witnessed between Wolf Girl and James Spader's Lonely Doppelganger? I HOPE IT'S YOU."

A man sits at an adjacent table who is the spitting image of James Spader. Sadly, he turns out not to be the esteemed actor of Stargate, The Practice, Boston Legal, and currently of The Blacklist. Gailey does a double-take before coming to this conclusion.

As she enjoys her delectable duck, the Not-James Spader constantly looks over at her as if he wants to say something. But Gailey's demeanor makes it clear that she wants to savor her meal in peace. Then things get really interesting: "Finally, a PERSON storms in and FLUMPS across from him. My overall impression is: BEDRAGGLED YOUTHSOME LADY."

Our narrator and witness to this strange encounter recounts the opening dialogue:

Not James Spader: You made it!

Bedraggled Young Lady: Yeah, sorry, I was at a rave and lost track of time.

NJS: [adjusts tie] Oh, uh, um, a rave? Like, uh, at a club?

BYL: Yeah, but it was like weird. Whatever

NJS: ...what's that you're wearing?

This is when our narrator reveals an important detail regarding the appearance of the Bedraggled Young Lady. That's right, she is wearing a wolf onesie.

Not James Spader doesn't seem all that surprised or put off.

Our narrator is feeling sorry for Not James Spader, but then Wolf Girl (formerly Bedraggled Young Lady) looks at the menu, and an even bigger plot twist unfolds. Wolf Girl complains that there is nothing good on the menu, aside from the pork.

Not James Spader gasps. "You eat pork?"

"I don't eat pork," he said with all the gravitas of a man in a suit on a date with a girl in a wolf onesie, "because pigs eat cats."

The rest of the story goes just as unexpected.

While pigs are omnivores, which means they eat both plants and animals (just like us), their general diet tends to be plant-based. So I'm afraid we have to call Not James Spader's statement about pigs mostly eating cats an alternative fact.

This is where the story ends, with Not James Spader and Wolf Girl (who turns out to be not old enough to legally drink) running off into the night in search of the weird and peculiar, perhaps at his ex-wife's bar no less, leaving us with one burning question on all of our minds:

"Do pigs really eat cats?"

We may never know. Or do we?

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

More from Trending

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Tom Williams/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

AOC Has Mic Drop Response To MAGA Republicans Who Try To Mock 'Democratic Priorities'

New York Democratic Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez issued a powerful rebuke against President Donald Trump and the MAGA movement, pointing out why mocking things like affordable housing and the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) as "Democrat priorities" ultimately hurts Republicans.

Ocasio-Cortez, speaking during a CNN town hall alongside Vermont Independent Senator Bernie Sanders, accused Republicans of refusing to work to end the government shutdown, stressing that the country’s health care system could collapse if Republicans refuse to meet Democrats’ demands in negotiations.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from New Berlin Public Library's 'trust fall' skit
@newberlinlibrary/Instagram

Wisconsin Public Library Has Internet Cackling With Unexpectedly Hilarious 'Trust Fall' Video

When we think of the library, we think of books awaiting us on the shelves—but the New Berlin Public Library in Wisconsin is here to remind us that public libraries contain so much more.

This library in particular contains a "Library of Things," in which the public can access otherwise expensive items for free, like boardgames, learning resources, and even Halloween costumes.

Keep ReadingShow less
Dave Taylor
Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc via Getty Images

GOP Rep. Blames Coordinated 'Ruse' After Swastika Image Is Seen Displayed In His Office

Ohio Republican Representative Dave Taylor demanded an investigation after a swastika image was found on display in his Washington, D.C., office, and blamed it on a "targeted" "ruse."

Politico obtained a photo from a virtual meeting showing a distorted image of the American flag—its red and white lines altered into the shape of a swastika— pinned to what appears to be a cubicle wall behind Angelo Elia, a staffer for Taylor. Beside it hung a pocket Constitution and a congressional calendar. Elia’s involvement in the incident, if any, remains unclear.

Keep ReadingShow less
A kitchen counter with appliances all over it
sink beside window
Photo by Arun Clarke on Unsplash

Everyday Items People Didn't Realize Were Super Expensive Until They Had To Buy Them

As children, we dream of becoming adults.

Living our own lives in our own homes, no longer under the rules and regulations of our parents.

Keep ReadingShow less
deceased family dog named Chop
KFOX14/CBS4

Popular Account 'We Rate Dogs' Unloads On Border Patrol For Killing Family's Beloved Dog During Search

As the internet evolved, certain social media accounts became known for providing wholesome, feel good content, like I Can Has Cheezburger?, The Dodo, and We Rate Dogs. Unsurprisingly, all three focus primarily on animals, offering amusing or heartfelt stories, videos, and memes as an escape from the trials and tribulations of daily life.

But the folks at We Rate Dogs recently took a departure from their usual content.

Keep ReadingShow less