Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Sarah Gailey Recounts Funny Date Between 'James Spader' & 'a Wolf'

Sarah Gailey Recounts Funny Date Between 'James Spader' & 'a Wolf'

Portland-based author treats herself to a fancy dinner and finds herself witness to the most bizarre date ever between a Wolf Girl and James Spader's doppelganger.

Hugo award finalist and novelist Sarah Gailey writes stores about murder and monsters, yet sometimes real life turns out to be stranger than fiction. This is exactly what happened when Gailey treated herself to duck at a fancy restaurant one evening, only to bear witness to a dinner date that we are still wrapping our heads around.


Note: This is a summary of Gailey's twitter-story. To read her full account unedited, go HERE.

Like a true narrator, she begins her story like so: "Who wants to hear the story of the date I witnessed between Wolf Girl and James Spader's Lonely Doppelganger? I HOPE IT'S YOU."

A man sits at an adjacent table who is the spitting image of James Spader. Sadly, he turns out not to be the esteemed actor of Stargate, The Practice, Boston Legal, and currently of The Blacklist. Gailey does a double-take before coming to this conclusion.

As she enjoys her delectable duck, the Not-James Spader constantly looks over at her as if he wants to say something. But Gailey's demeanor makes it clear that she wants to savor her meal in peace. Then things get really interesting: "Finally, a PERSON storms in and FLUMPS across from him. My overall impression is: BEDRAGGLED YOUTHSOME LADY."

Our narrator and witness to this strange encounter recounts the opening dialogue:

Not James Spader: You made it!

Bedraggled Young Lady: Yeah, sorry, I was at a rave and lost track of time.

NJS: [adjusts tie] Oh, uh, um, a rave? Like, uh, at a club?

BYL: Yeah, but it was like weird. Whatever

NJS: ...what's that you're wearing?

This is when our narrator reveals an important detail regarding the appearance of the Bedraggled Young Lady. That's right, she is wearing a wolf onesie.

Not James Spader doesn't seem all that surprised or put off.

Our narrator is feeling sorry for Not James Spader, but then Wolf Girl (formerly Bedraggled Young Lady) looks at the menu, and an even bigger plot twist unfolds. Wolf Girl complains that there is nothing good on the menu, aside from the pork.

Not James Spader gasps. "You eat pork?"

"I don't eat pork," he said with all the gravitas of a man in a suit on a date with a girl in a wolf onesie, "because pigs eat cats."

The rest of the story goes just as unexpected.

While pigs are omnivores, which means they eat both plants and animals (just like us), their general diet tends to be plant-based. So I'm afraid we have to call Not James Spader's statement about pigs mostly eating cats an alternative fact.

This is where the story ends, with Not James Spader and Wolf Girl (who turns out to be not old enough to legally drink) running off into the night in search of the weird and peculiar, perhaps at his ex-wife's bar no less, leaving us with one burning question on all of our minds:

"Do pigs really eat cats?"

We may never know. Or do we?

Please SHARE this with your friends and family.

More from Trending

person lying on bed reading book
Dessidre Fleming on Unsplash

People Who Sleep Naked Describe The Times It Backfired—And Oof

I make it a habit to travel with nice pajamas that I don't mind having other people see.

One reason why is because years ago on a business trip to St. Louis, Missouri, one of the other hotels near where we were staying had a minor fire in the middle of the night.

Keep ReadingShow less
Kate Shaw; Josh Hawley
C-SPAN

Law Professor Bluntly Debunks Hawley's Conspiracy About Why Number Of Trump Injunctions Is So High

On Tuesday, Kate Shaw, law professor at the University of Pennsylvania, testified before a Senate Judiciary subcommittee hearing on the role of the federal court system.

The Republican majority focused primarily on federal judges issuing nationwide injunctions that block the unconstitutional executive orders of MAGA Republican President Donald Trump and the Trump administration's illegal or unconstitutional actions.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @joyfullykrisandra's TikTok video
@joyfullykrisandra/TikTok

Mom Slams Bakery's Epic Fail After Ordering $200 Cake For Son's Graduation Party

The time of year has come for major celebrations, especially among families with graduates in their midst.

For those who want to throw a party to celebrate, they have to prepare one of the central features: a cake.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @tallertoddlers' TikTok video
@tallertoddlers/TikTok

Woman Horrified After Accidentally Shattering Roommate's $249 Louis Vuitton Chocolate Purse

There are a few "roommate etiquette" rules we should all be able to agree to: don't use or take something that doesn't belong to you, at least without asking; don't eat your roommate's food; and honestly, don't touch their food, especially with your bare hands.

A leading rule, however, should be: If you break something that belongs to your roommate, you should replace it.

Keep ReadingShow less
Patrick Renna in 'The Sandlot'; Patrick Renna stepping up to bat with the Savannah Bananas
20th Century Fox; @thesavbananas/TikTok

'The Sandlot' Star Surprises Baseball Fans By Stepping Up To Bat At Savannah Bananas Game

Millennials everywhere who weren't at a recent Savannah Bananas game will be sent into a nostalgic spiral when they see the video of Patrick Renna, better known as Ham Porter or "The Great Hambino" in the 1993 film The Sandlot, stepping up to bat.

The Savannah Bananas provide the perfect interactive baseball game experience for fans and families, and inviting well-known personalities is just part of their repertoire.

Keep ReadingShow less