So many of us just hold on for far too long.
But let's be honest, deep down we always pretty much know when the love has gone.
When most relationships end, yes it's sad.
But sadness in these situations will eventually subside
And the times when it's a great thing the "love" story is over, those are celebrations.
No matter how the ending approaches, the story of whys and hows will forever be interesting.
Redditor AntBot05 wanted to hear about the reasons love has ended, so they asked:
"Why did you and your last partner break up?
We Never Fight
"We both sucked at communicating with each other. Resentment grew until one of us decided we were done and didn't want to fix it."
"I've since learned that you have to talk about things that are bothering you, even if it's hard. 'We never fight' is not a flex if you're bottling up resentment instead."
- GreenGlitterGlue
break up GIFGiphy
Third Wheel
"Because his mom was the third wheel in our relationship. He brought everything to his mom before he had an opinion."
- Complex_Raspberry97
"Ugh. My first marriage. He even had 'Mom' tattooed on his arm inside a pretty red heart. Didn't know that was a red flag until it was too late."
- nobulls4dabulls
"Same thing for me except it was her therapist. Never got upset about anything at all until her therapist told her what to be upset about. This meant that literal weeks would go by where she said nothing was wrong and then 1 therapy appointment and suddenly we have a long list of issues again."
"That's not to say none of those issues were valid but it was incredibly hard to go from weeks of peace to suddenly "oh btw I've been mad about this the whole time even though I said it was fine"
- Negativ_Monarch
Self-Worth
"I wasn’t the best partner and let my insecurities take over, and it made me a terrible person, and he got sick of it and eventually left. Not my proudest moment at all, and I am still trying to better myself, so I never put anyone else through that again."
- Any-Contribution656
"For me, the best thing I've found (aside from a patient and understanding partner, which has helped the most) anytime I'm having negative intrusive (frankly paranoid) thoughts is to think 'Is that a thing I think that person would do?' Often for me, it's a reflection of my own self-worth and not my opinion of that person. So by changing the focus onto how I value THAT person, it helps me to not assume stupid shi**y things."
"Everyone's different, but I found that the easiest."
- Levitlame
8 Years
"Spent 8 years giving her everything she wanted and while getting nothing in return. No matter what I was going through it was always about her. My grandmother (who raised me) got diagnosed with cancer for the 4th time and I got told she wasn't going to make it through chemo I sat by her bedside for 8 days while she withered away."
"My ex didn't console me, come to the hospital... nothing. After she passed and I went home to my ex, she didn't comfort me, just complained that I was gone for so long and didn't need to be. When the memorial service came, she refused to go even though I had to give a eulogy that I barely made it through."
"I was a hollow shell when I got home after the funeral. She looked me in my eyes the minute I walked in and said, 'What're we going to eat tonight?' I snapped and told her to get out. Packed her **it while she called me every name in the book and threw her out back to her mom's place. 5 months into the breakup, I found out she was cheating on me for three years... and I couldn't have been happier knowing I did the right thing and that my grandma would've been proud of me for finally sticking up for myself."
- DEADFACExMUGZEE
Unlucky in Love
"All three of my relationships have ended because they cheated."
"The last one was the most painful because that was when I 'went out of my way,' so to speak, to find someone different from the people I usually date."
"I wasn't really into them in the beginning but we ended up dating for years and it was the best relationship I'd ever had until it wasn't. That really fu**ed with my head and now I have major trust issues I'm not sure I'll ever rebound from."
- 5t34df45t
Wrecked
"He cheated on me, got the girl pregnant, and married her the same year. I was a wreck. This happened nine years ago, so it's all good now! I am now a mother with a loving partner. Good karma is real!"
- Mukbangers
I Come In Peace GIF by Retro Future E-GirlGiphy
What If?
"We both loved each other very much before we got together but I think we both realized we weren't right for each other and it took us months to admit it. Now that it's done, it still hurts. He was one of my closest friends before and I miss having him as a friend. I don't regret it though, we would have always been each other's 'what if.'"
- velvetblue929
R"ight there with ya friend. Very much in love but had different needs that we denied for so long because we didn’t want to lose each other. I miss her a lot and have so many questions about how we could’ve been better for each other. But I’m learning to let go so I can be free from the suffering. The grief is with me often these days. It will get better though."
- sammy55554
Never Real
"I don’t think she was ever really into me. Just wanted a fling that got serious. As time went on we realised we both wanted different things in life. Since meeting my now partner of 9 years I can see that my ex and I really weren’t that compatible and had a flawed relationship that lacked respect and collaboration. It hurt at the time but I am so glad I experienced it and moved on."
- Lee_keogh
Gotta Sleep
"He refused any intimacy with me. Always an excuse. He's tired, his head hurts, and it's against our religion as Christians(we weren't married). I had strong suspicions that he was actually involved with someone else. His phone was a dead giveaway. Always face down, went into the bathroom with him, slept with it under his pillow. One day I straight up asked him if I could look at his phone, which of course he refused. The final straw was him leaving me to drive myself to the doctor while I was having an asthma attack. When I asked why, he said he didn't want to come because he wanted to nap. I ended it with him right then and there."
- LaTesora99
Good Riddance
"He was just the worst. It became increasingly clear he would never take responsibility for any issues, he was just as judgmental as his mom (who he hates lol), and the constant tiny criticisms that were meant to 'help me' killed my soul. He is deeply insecure and it came out in the worst ways possible. Good riddance. On the plus side, I really learned how to stand up for myself."
- CoasterLife
Trust Issues
"After nearly 5 good years, my gut feeling that something was wrong got stronger and stronger. I broke up with him bc my anxiety about it became unhealthy."
"He started dating his 'girl best friend' two weeks after we ended (and while he was begging for me back). Found out later, that he was cheating on me with his ex for an extended amount of time. TRUST YOUR GUT!!!"
- muddertruck3r
Broken
"She got scared and ran. Her breakup speech sounded a lot like how I envisioned my marriage proposal to her would sound one day. but the tears and pain on her face told me there was a plot twist coming. I waited for her to come around for about a year even though she insisted I didn't and reached out every so often.
"How could I not with love like we had? But I am no match for her walls. I feel like I'm finally starting to emerge now from that shattered heart at least. And please, please people, if you have unaddressed trauma from past relationships, work on that sh*t before getting involved with anyone else. It almost broke me."
- Grundens
Days Before
"I've never been the one to break up with someone. My last partner broke up with me two weeks before our wedding because the guy that always got away was single and in town. They dated for a year. He stole her money, knocked her up, and disappeared. She called me back after all that and asked if we could get back together. I laughed and hung up."
- Antique_Classroom833
A So/So relationship
"I was dating a guy, but it was casual. Then, I met my husband while studying at the library, and it was love at first conversation. I called my then-boyfriend on my walk home and broke up with him so that if my now-husband called me, there wouldn't be any complications. I knew I was going to marry him from the moment I met him, but I also realized that there was no point wasting time and a so/so relationship when the real thing was out there."
- AndrysThorngage
Not Me
"He chose his friends over me. He was willing to spend entire weeks with them but didn’t bother to spare even just one day with me."
- dj_cndl
High School Love GIFGiphy
Break-ups are never easy. But often they are essential.
After reading all of this, I feel even more confident about my past choices.
My last break-up was amicable, so obvi it's a boring story.
But a few of the others would send chills down spines.
But I knew it had to be done.