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People's Greatest 'Oh F**k, They Weren't Joking' Moments

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Photo by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

When I was a junior in high school and my SAT scores arrived, my dad wondered how I did compared to my friends. We were going to have a party at the end of that week, and he told me he would ask them.

I told him to go ahead, thinking he was joking. My dad wasn’t a big talker, especially when it came to people who weren’t his age. I thought he would never actually ask them their score. I was wrong…and mortified as my friends tried to be vague about their answers and he pressed for real, numerical scores.

I was always really careful to clarify whether my dad was joking or not after that moment.

Redditors have had several moments like the one I detailed, in which they thought someone was joking and balked when they realized the person was serious.


Wanting to know more, Redditor bored_lesiban1738 asked:

“what was your biggest "oh f**k, they werent joking" moment?”

Yikes!

"Not my story, but my husbands"

"Probably 10 years ago, while living at his parents cabin in the middle of the woods, my husband was doing some work on the balcony when his friend shouted "can I shoot your truck?". Amused by the question, my husband replied "yeah" and chuckled. Moments later he heard gunfire and his buddy proudly holding a shotgun."

"The hole is still there, and it continues to get the ole rust, protection treatment."

– mintbuffal0

"Who asks that? Is the friend not all there or something?"

– vapre

Wrong Day For Bad News

"My school, for some reason, announced they were millions of dollars in debt and were going to be lowering the budget (worse food, less teachers, etc.) on April Fool's. Everyone, obviously, laughed, even the teachers. Then the next day the deans talked about it again and everyone was like... wait what. Teachers resigned."

– samglamdog

"My daughter's grade school sent us an email on a Friday stating they would be closing next Monday. I laughed at the obvious typo. They meant "Closed," as in they would not have had school that day, not "Closing" permanently in the middle of a semester, right? Right?"

"No, they were permanently closing with almost no notice."

– DrFridayTK

Three's A Crowd

"My soon-to-be mother in law making a "joke" about joining us on our honeymoon. Surely she isn't being serious? Oh yes... yes she was. She was totally going to buy tickets and room accomodations where we were going, and was planning on surprising us with this visit. It only came out once she decided not to go through with it. It took a lot of effort to keep my face looking normal in that moment."

– Manonxo

"I've heard of couples keeping their honeymoon destinations a secret to avoid pranks and such. This would be another good reason."

– capilot

Cringe

"I went for a job interview in the middle of Winter on a frigid blizzardy day. The guy to interview me was late from the inclement weather so I was waiting awhile in the reception area. Finally he came in and said something like "Brrrr, Sorry I'm late! It's so c-c-c-c-c-cold out there my car wouldn't start." I laughed thinking the stutter was a joke like they do in cartoons and stuff. Nope, guy had a bad stutter. Luckily he saw my horrified face when I realized and he thought it was hilarious."

– diiejso

"Similar ... when I worked in news production we had a new girl on the headsets. One of the anchors got aggravated at something after the newscast and shouted at the new hire "I said this multiple times... ARE YOU DEAF IN ONE EAR?""

"...new girl was, indeed, deaf in one of her ears. lol"

– three-sense

Worst Dad Ever

"For me, it occurred when I was young enough that I had to be told they weren't joking."

"My parents got divorced before I even entered grade school, and I saw my father very rarely at first; usually just a couple weeks over the summer. We would spend a week with his family (his sister and her family, as well as his dad) and then a week in his home in the big city."

"I was eleven, and my dad asked if I would like go over to my aunt's house to play with my cousins, or if I would like to hang out at grandpa's, where my dad was just going to be taking a nap, or maybe going to see some old friends of his. Obviously he wanted me to choose the former, but I was too young to see it, and I said that I wanted to hang out with him."

"He got quite frustrated, explaining he wasn't going to be doing anything, and I replied that I knew, but I still wanted to. He then said "You are such a pain in the a**, sometimes!""

"To which I smiled and said "I know.""

"And he said "I'm not joking.""

"Oh...okay..."

"So I went with my aunt and cousin back to their house, riding in the back of their truck with their dog, and I distinctly remember petting the dog and saying "I bet your dad doesn't think you're a pain in the a**" through tears."

"This may not seem like much, but I only saw him for a couple weeks out of every year; no calls and few letters. And here it is, four decades later, and I'm still feeling it."

"So yeah, that'd be a big "oh f**k" moment, if not the biggest for me."

– DenverDudeXLI

It's An Emergency!

"I worked as a cashier at a shooting range in college. A guy came off the range, up to me fairly calmly and said "Could you call 911? My buddy got hit in the neck." It was spoken so matter-of-factly that I just kind of laughed. To which he replied "No, really, could you?" Then his buddy walked past my register towards the bathrooms holding his bleeding neck and suddenly the mood shifted a bit."

– Patorama

Not To Be Believed

"When I was told a close relative believes humans had pet dinosaurs"

"Full blown conspiracy how the "truth" is kept from us and how advances early humans actually were"

"lost all respect for them right there and there. They could tell me the sky is blue and i'd check the weather app -.-"

– Resident_Chemist5177

Can't Be Done

"Definitely not the biggest one but a funny one for sure. Had a job ticket come in to "dim the sun" with a name and no other info, we all got a laugh. A month later we get a call that we did not do a request, yep it was to dim the sun."

"Now you think it would maybe be that their blinds where not closing or the window tint had an issue. NO, when we got there they didn't want to close their blinds they wanted the sun to be actually dimmed because it was not that bright when they started working in that office. I had to walk away like literally speechless. We eventually had to talk to their manager and clarify that we can not dim the sun and that the request was unreasonable."

– 4R4nd0mR3dd1t0r

Almost Inevitable

"A few weeks ago my 5 year old told me he was going to piss on the carpet. I figured he was doing it to get attention in the form of an angry reaction from me (as kids often do), so I decided to call him out on his bluff and told him, "If you really think that kind of behavior will help you accomplish anything, go ahead.""

:Long story short, any tips for getting piss smell out of the carpet?"

– LoxicTizard

Never challenge a kid. At that age, they don’t lie!

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