"Hit a golf ball..."

Hit a golf ball onto a recently drained lake and decided it was playable from the "mud." On my third step onto the lake I sank up to my chest. Took a chain of three people to pull me out, and my God the smell. Should've taken the penalty.

NadaOmelet

"When I was a kid..."

When I was a kid, my parents were watching a show where they were finding gems/gold inside of rocks and I obviously wanted to find gold too, so I went outside and threw a giant rock on the ground and it ended up BOUNCING right into our glass sliding door. Shattered.

OrphanPounder

"So, that."

Was baking bread and had a pyrex dish with water in the bottom of the oven for moisture. Checked the oven, water was gone, my dumbass decides I need to pour more water in. A split second flash of what would happen goes through my brain but I do it anyway. Cool tap water + hot pyrex and BOOOOM! Shit explodes everywhere. I've been finding random bits of pyrex in my kitchen for years now. So, that.

TwinkiWienerSandwich

"This was yesterday."

Forgot my own phone number while leaving my client a voicemail. This was yesterday.

Hambushed

"When I was four..."

When I was four I made a spider out of pipecleaners then got scared of it.

SCSLAYZ

"Paid $500..."

Paid $500 for bar tending lesson/certification and haven't tended bar once in all my 29 years or even really tried.

cyainanotherlifebro

"When I was a kid..."

When I was a kid, I took my Nintendo apart so that I could use the parts to build a remote control airplane.

Presidentderka

"Broke the window..."

Broke the window of the principals office, not on purpose, I was throwing a stone at a tree but my aim was so bad it took a 90° turn and went right into his window.

Whattheduck9

"A student saw it..."

Brought a BB gun to school to trade with my friend for his Playstation. Sadly though the BB gun looked like a real gun and was just after Columbine and I went to school in Colorado.

A student saw it and reported it and s*** hit the fan pretty damn hard for me in 5th grade. Got expelled for it and made the local newspaper.

possiblesh*tpost

"Lost my phone..."

Lost my phone in my bedroom. To help locate it, I tried calling it using my phone.

NotTika