It's never easy to be honest with yourself. If you can hide behind the facade you've crafted from other people, then perhaps you can hide from it too. Truthfully, confronting that honesty is more important, as it'll allow you to move past it and grow beyond it. Just take a look at these people's stories below as they open up about why dating them might be a bit of a challenge.
Reddit user, u/Niyi_M, wanted to hear about:
Oh Yeah. The Worldwide Pandemic.
homer simpson relief GIFGiphyThere isn't a lot of people I know that are my type, and the pandemic is making it hard to meet anyone who I would be interested in. Also I kind of just have high standards when it comes to dating.
Standards are always great, hope you find someone!
Waiting For The World To Get Back To Going
I'm shy, I have low self esteem, my confidence isn't the best, I have extreme social anxiety, and I'm afraid of rejection. I'm hoping to fix a lot of these problems after covid [disappears.]
Giving Yourself Time To Heal
I want to be single for awhile until the right one comes along. I've dated two guys this year and there was another guy in my life that I wanted to date but thank God I didn't. I'm over them now but the crap that I went through with them was unreal.
Rushing In To Fast
Because I always ruin the relationships I'm in.
Usually by moving too fast. I literally JUST ruined one without meaning too. I really like this one more then the others tho, so let's hope I can turn it around 🙃
Putting Up Your Own Walls
Because I am overweight. I have confidence and know how to flirt I just have a hard time believing someone is actually attracted to me because i am overweight. But working on it now and should not be a problem soon!!!!
Unable To Push Past High School
I have always not dated for many reasons. In high school, I didn't see the point in dating. I was raised Christian, so dating was for marriage. I also knew I'd go abroad for university, so there was no point at the time because I knew I wouldn't marry that person.
In university, I was depressed and anxious most of the time. I had one or two guys try to talk to me, but because of my anxiety it really felt like an attack to have people show interest in me. I was actually interested in one of the guys, but my thinking was way too messed up anyway. I thought (and still think) he was weird for being interested in me.
Today, it's because I need to heal from my childhood trauma, depression and anxiety. I know I won't be a healthy partner if I don't work on myself.
Something Beyond Your Physical Control
I have MS and as a result I have ED and I just don't have the confidence. I don't think that a woman wants to be with a man who can't get it up naturally at my age. It's humiliating.
there's nothing humiliating about something you have no control over, and there's someone that will be understanding and patient with you.
Prefer To Be Alone
Because I'm average-looking at best and probably require a lot of patience to get to know. I'm a bit shy, and maybe a bit closed off emotionally. I don't really like getting close to people at this point.I always end up looking like an idiot, and I don't think I could handle another disappointment.
Hanging On Tight To Someone Else
lisa simpson GIFGiphyStill getting over someone else
Time heals all, But writing down your thoughts will speed things up. It's easy to lose sight of the big picture when you're caught up in your emotions, the best way to heal is to start small. Shower every day, brush your teeth, eat real food, go to sleep early. It won't make you feel better over night but if you don't keep moving you drown. It sucks right now, and that's ok, no one said you have to be happy all the time. Remember that you are more than just your relationship. you love them and there's nothing wrong with that, but remember to show yourself that same love.
You've got this.
Always Competing
Women never see me as a romantic partner. More like I'm the competition. Lost count how many women would try and one-up me over the years growing up to adulthood. I still haven't forgotten when one called me a 'second class citizen' since I was known as the poor immigrant kid at school.
Like What I Like, Unironically
There's a lot of reasons that I'm still single. I haven't dated anyone or have any plans to- I think I'm just simply not ready. I want to focus more on myself, like maybe sometime after I finish college so I'm not all over the place. I also have seen or heard/read stories of relationships going downhill- and not in a pretty way either. Those really deter me from getting into a relationship because it can be stressful when taken in the wrong direction.
But for the personal side of things- I also prefer someone that shares the same interests as me without belittling my likes or dislikes or just my personal lifestyle. And that's about it all I can say really. This post was a bit long- I just had to get it off my chest I guess lol. I know I can't be in control of what, I prefer to be alone anyway. Maybe have a cat or two to keep me company.
Giving In For Less Than You Think
Because I always ended up with me settling and waiting. I realized that you can't really change a person through just waiting and making excuses for them. So if you see those makings of red flags, you can't just wait for them to change for you, just because you tell them it's hurting you. Sometimes communication isn't good enough because the other person won't ever listen.
Constant Work On Yourself
I have a lot of things that I need to work on in therapy. I don't think it would be right to inflict myself on somebody else before I'm some nebulous quantity of "healthier." Same thing with my debt and financial issues.
That's the main thing. Add our no-end-in-sight plague on top of it.
When Love Is Anxiety
hate myself, fear of intimacy, social anxiety. So feeling in love was so depressing and gave me so much anxiety. I never hated myself more when I knew he loved me back. And people didn't understand that i don't especially want sex in my life (asexual) so it's hard finding someone
People tend to think that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you or before you can love someone.
You are good enough and deserving of love just by being here and alive.
I would look into imposter syndrome.
Also, so many people are asexual (i'm grey asexual) and it's beautiful how much more openly common it is now.
Too Long By Yourself
I've been alone too long.
Having someone around might be handy, but would most likely bug the sh-t out of me.
Even in the year 2020 I feel like I don't get enough alone time, and I live alone, WFH, and only leave the house once or twice a week. I can image trying to share my space with another person.
A Later Bloomer
Because, due to religion and the way I was raised I thought even talking to a girl is a sin so I never really interacted with girls that much. I have basically 0 experience when it comes to talking to girls let alone dating.
The Trifecta From Hell
A combination of depression, social anxiety and lack of any social skills
PerditionLordDating Yourself Instead
I am uncomfortable dating and prefer being single so my time is dedicated to what I need to do in my life
Yes! This leads to feeling lonely sometimes but I'm busy and I get over it. Online dating makes me nauseous and disgusted that I need to judge someone based on a few pictures.
Your Own Worst Enemy Is Yourself
season 3 television GIFGiphyI'm lazy and have a low self esteem.
I'm also very asocial.
Unable To Move On
Because my wife died.
I'm sorry for your loss. My husband died seven years ago, and I've discovered that I prefer living alone. So I'll stay single for the rest of my life.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram