If there's one thing we can say about 2020, it's that it's been a very troubling year for many of us.
Between political polarization and upheaval, mass protests, social isolation during a global pandemic that has killed millions of people, and the abrupt halt to life as we once knew it, 2020 is a year many would rather forget.
I went back to school––figured it'd be a good way to use my time. That isn't to say I wasn't struck by anxiety and depression this year either... it's been frightening at times, saddening at others.
But it's also provided many people ample opportunity to pause and reflect, as we heard from the online community after Redditor rivergame asked, “What has this year made you learn about yourself?"
"They all just blur together."
How much of a chunk of my money I spend on recreational pursuits. Without that avenue available, my bank account has swelled.
However, spending months upon months alone has made days meaningless. They all just blur together. I often don't know what day of the week it is.
"I like people..."
I like people more than I thought I did and I will be saying yes to more invitations when it's over.
"I may hate commuting..."
That I'm not introverted enough to basically stay in isolation for six months and still feel fine about it. I may hate commuting and open offices and being around people a lot, but I guess I still need at least some social contact.
"That people actually like me..."
That people actually like me and dont just get annoyed because of me every time i speak to them.
"There is such a thing..."
There is such a thing as spending too much time with your family.
TheNameIsPippen
"It showed me..."
It showed me how fast life can actually be over. Many people died around me, my dad died a few weeks ago. This year showed me how expensive and fragile life is.
"That everyone around you..."
That human contact, like a hug, is f***** important. That everyone around you is also struggling with problems, and being kind sometimes has a profound impact on people's lives. And that people act like a bunch of nuts when an epidemic spreads.
"I must have cycled through..."
I get bored of things REALLY quickly. I must have cycled through the same 4 or 5 console games at least four times throughout the pandemic, I've been struggling to finish books, I used to love watching movies and now I barely watch one every week.
"I'm a nurse..."
I should appreciate essential workers more. I'm a nurse but HOLY F*** do I appreciate grocery workers, mechanics, mail carriers, and everyone in a sector that a Karen will ask for your manager. My parents were essential workers (grocery and garbage workers). I was embarrassed to tell people growing up. Now I wear that with pride because they worked so damn hard to raise me and my siblings.
"I felt like I had it under control..."
My anxiety is worse than I thought. I felt like I had it under control, but now I'm on unemployment and the thought of going back to work makes me sick. What if I'm not a good employee? What if I forget all of my training? What if my health problems keep me from working like I should?
"It's sort of nice..."
I am an extremely generic person. There is absolutely nothing special about me at all. If I vanished from the face of the earth tomorrow the impact it would have would be so miniscule that I can only imagine 2 or 3 people being affected by it for more than a few weeks.
And to be honest that's both a little sad and a little relieving. It's sort of nice to know one's actual place in the universe no matter how inconsequential it might be.
"I've learned that I'm way happier..."
I've learned that I'm way happier and more productive working from home than in an office and kind of dread going back.
"I use food to cope..."
My relationship with food really is unhealthy. I use food to celebrate or to cope with every significant up and down in my life. I've gained weight and gotten back to a size I swore I'd never get back to (282 lbs). I'm going to start losing weight again, but looking at my habits this pandemic, I'm surprised I'm not bigger.
"I really thought..."
That my anxiety didn't get better when my financial situation improved due to being an essential worker and having a period of free childcare and no extracurriculars for the kids.
I really thought if I just had some more money, life would be easier. Boy was I wrong!
"Since then..."
I'm naturally very depressed/anxious. When my gym closed down I spiraled, had my first panic attacks ever and realized that exercise was really the only thing that allowed me to keep it at all together. Since then I've purchased a refurb stationary bike and it has been the single best investment of my life.
"I always thought that if I went to prison..."
I always thought that if I went to prison I would work out every day, lose a bunch of weight, and gotten fit. 2020 quarantine has proven this would not be the case.
"In reality..."
How much money I spend. I honestly thought I was thrifty and I needed to make more money to save or pay down debt. In reality, I just needed to spend less.
"I'm really content..."
I'm really content with spending time by myself. With quarantine in effect my life hasn't really changed. I've always kept my distance from people in public, genuinely prefer takeout over sitting down in a loud restaurant, and most of my hobbies don't require me to be in large crowds of people.
I did however plan a trip this past year to try and get out of my comfort zone to try new things. However, with the pandemic hitting hard I wasn't taking any chances so I canceled.
"And when you stop worrying about time..."
That time, or rather "schedule" is an illusion.
I used to be so attached to having a specific schedule and waking up early to be productive, and felt worried if I "wasted" the morning sleeping and not being productive.
Now I realize that it doesn't matter when you wake up or go to bed, doesn't matter whether you're at home or at your office, or if the sun is up or down, you can just treat time as a continuous resource that you can invest in any way you want to reach your goals. And when you stop worrying about time, you start getting more involved in what you do, and you delve deeper into it, rather than having a strict schedule in which you try to fix tasks to tick off things as "done" on your to-do list.
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