Kristi Noem's Purse Was Stolen At A D.C. Restaurant—And Everyone's Thinking The Same Thing

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem was widely mocked after a man reportedly stole her purse, which contained her government ID, passport, medication, and around $3,000 in cash, on Easter Sunday as she enjoyed a meal with her family—all while she was being protected by the Secret Service.

The Secret Service reviewed surveillance footage from Capital Burger and saw an unidentified white male in a medical mask steal Noem’s bag and exit the restaurant, a law enforcement source said. An investigation is now underway to track any attempted use of her financial accounts.

The Secret Service referred questions to the Department of Homeland Security. A DHS spokesperson confirmed the theft and said the large amount of cash in the bag was meant to cover dinner, activities, and Easter gifts for Noem’s visiting family, including her children and grandchildren.

It sure says something that the person in charge of national security can't even secure her own belongings—which others were only keen to point out.

If the theft of Noem's purse makes you feel less safe with the nation's security apparatus in her hands, just wait until we tell you about Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth getting in trouble—again—for sending Yemen war plans in a Signal chat that included his wife and brother.

This is fine, guys. Totally fine.