an Oh Myyy Property

A proud mum has tipped her boy to be crowned the next queen of the global drag scene, as he already spangles in sequins and heels – despite being just nine-years-old.


Since he was aged just two, Vincent Garcia has loved experimenting with his mum Elizabeth Leyva's make-up and tottering around their house in Los Angeles, California, in her stilettos.

And when, aged seven, he watched RuPaul's Drag Race – where queens compete to become America's next drag superstar – he was instantly hooked.

A year later, aged eight, he came out to his parents as gay before revealing his ambition to follow in the footsteps of his favorite flamboyant drag stars.

Ever supportive, Elizabeth, 33, and her partner, soft drinks company worker Nick Garcia, 34 – who also have two other sons, Xzavier, seven, and Abraham, five – have encouraged Vincent to be proud of who he is, whether he is being himself, or his drag queen alter-ego DunkaShay Monroe.

Stay-at-home mum Elizabeth said:

“People say that kids don't know who they are and that parents force certain beliefs on them – but that is a huge misconception."

VincentPA Real Life/Collect

She continued:

"From having three sons, I know 100 pecent that Vincent is sure of who he is."
“We have never pressured him or pushed anything on him. Everything he does, he comes up with himself."
“We'd never want him to hide who he is and are so proud of what an amazingly strong child he is."

Vincent as DunkaShay Monroe (PA Real Life/Collect)

When Vincent expressed an interest in fashion and make-up at the tender age of two, Elizabeth was happy for him to experiment with her clothes and cosmetics.

She added:

“He's always been into fashion. He, to this day, carries around a little notebook with him where he'll draw doodles of things he likes."
“The first proper thing he drew was a pair of heels. Then he started drawing dresses too and asking for Barbie dolls as presents, so he could style their outfits."

Vincent and ElizabethPA Real Life/Collect

She added:

“We wanted him to freely express himself and, as he was so young, didn't want to say anything was strictly for girls or boys."
“Whether he asked for cars and action figures or dolls and make-up, we'd get them for him to help him explore and work out who he was."

As the years passed, Vincent remained passionate about fashion, often customizing his dolls' clothes to make them more individual – a love that was amplified by seeing RuPaul's Drag Race on TV when he was about seven.

Vincent and Nick at Long Beach PridePA Real Life/Collect

Then, aged eight, he told Elizabeth some big news.

She recalled:

“He came in one day and said, 'Mummy, I have something to tell you but I don't know if you'll be upset'."
“I reassured him that he could tell me absolutely anything. I wanted to know he was comfortable talking to me."
“He then told me that he thought he might be gay. We have always been very open with our children and answered questions that they may have about the world, so Vincent knew about the LGBT community and what it means to be a part of it."

Elizabeth added:

“As a mum, you know your children better than anyone, so I wasn't overly surprised that he was questioning if he was gay."
“That said, I wanted to leave it to him to tell me when he was ready, so I had never taken it upon myself to ask him or pressure him to come out."
"I told him I loved him unconditionally and would support him no matter what."

Vincent next to RuPaul's Hollywood starPA Real Life/Collect

Once out, Vincent then told his mum that he wanted to become a drag queen, like the performers he had seen on RuPaul's Drag Race a year earlier.

She added:

“We looked into it first to work out whether it would be appropriate, but we were supportive and thought it was a great way of him expressing himself."
“It's no different to how other children put on a costume and play dress up."

Vincent at Long Beach PridePA Real Life/Collect

With that, Vincent's drag alter-ego DunkaShay Monroe – a name he chose himself combining the lyrics to a song his father would sing him as a tot, and the surname of Marilyn Monroe – was born.

At first, he would experiment with looks around the house, performing runway shows for his family.

Then, earlier this year during June's LGBT Pride month, he had his first outing to a festival in Long Beach, California.

Vincent and Elizabeth at Long Beach PridePA Real Life/Collect

“He wore make-up, but didn't have the full drag wig and dress then."

Shortly after, buoyed by the positive reactions he had received at Long Beach, Vincent decided to hit the city in full drag for Los Angeles Pride.

Donning a green wig he had bought online alongside a sequinned gown found in Goodwill – a thrift store – he took to the streets, much to the delight of the gathered crowds.

Vincent and his brothers walking to LA PridePA Real Life/Collect

Elizabeth added:

“I got a photo of Vincent holding his brothers' hands on the way there, which means the world to me. It shows how they'll all support one another no matter what."
“He really made his mark at LA Pride. People kept stopping him for photos, or to tell him how proud they were."
"He was in his element. It was so special to see."
“Now, while he still sees drag very much as playing, he has mentioned that he wants to make a career out of it."
"But Nick and I have told him he needs to stay in school and study, to have a plan B, C and D in case it doesn't work out."

Although Elizabeth and the rest of the family are incredibly supportive of Vincent, he has experienced cruel comments and been bullied in the past – shockingly, even by adults.

Supportive as ever, his parents have encouraged him to rise above any small-minded taunts he may come up against in later life.

Elizabeth said:

“Sadly, people have a lot to say about the LGBT community, so Vincent has come up against some bullying."

VincentPA Real Life/Collect

“He's had people come up and ask him point blank if he's gay."
"The way I see it, when a man loves a woman or vice versa, they are never made to explain themselves, so I tell Vincent that if he feels comfortable, he can talk about it, but he's certainly not obliged to justify himself."

She continued:

“He is so strong and positive, though. I don't think I'd have been half as brave at his age.
“Whenever people are nasty, he stands up for himself but does it calmly and respectfully."
"He says to me that he thinks anybody who is bullying must not have been taught by their parents that if they can't say anything nice, not to say anything at all."
“He knows there will be times in his life when people don't understand who he is. We don't live in a perfect world where everybody accepts that love is love, and you can't help who you are."

Vincent at Long Beach PridePA Real Life/Collect

Elizabeth concluded:

“All I can ask is that he remembers what we've taught him – to treat those that don't accept him with a smile, then move on and not let their negativity weigh him down. There is a way of standing up for yourself without escalating a situation."

Elizabeth stressed the importance of youngsters learning about different kinds of relationships and about gender identity.

Despite living in the USA, she also welcomes the news that, by September 2020, under new regulations for teaching Relationships Education and Relationships and Sex Education, all UK secondary schools will be required to teach pupils about sexual orientation and gender identity.

DunkaShay MonroePA Real Life/Collect

In addition, primary schools are encouraged to cover LGBT content – for example, teaching pupils about different family dynamics, such as having same sex parents – if they consider it to be age appropriate.

Elizabeth continued:

“Kids should be taught about the LGBT community so that they know it's okay to be who they are, and that they should respect one another."
“You can't help who you are. We're all human beings and nobody should be discriminated against for who they love."

Vincent and NickPA Real Life/Collect

Now, Vincent continues to perfect his DunkaShay Monroe act – and has even been told by his parents that, if he gets good grades at school, he will be treated to a sewing machine so he can make his own costumes.

Elizabeth continued:

“I leave it up to him to decide how he wants to express himself, especially out in public. Sometimes he won't want to wear makeup, but other times, he'll come out to dinner with us with lipstick and a pair of cat ears on."
“With make-up, we do put some restrictions in place as to how much he wears but that's to do with age, not gender. It'd be the same if I had a daughter – I'd still want her to have that chance to be a child."

VincentPA Real Life/Collect

By speaking out, Elizabeth hopes to encourage other parents to allow their children to express themselves, without forcing gender stereotypes on them.

She concluded:

“My message to other parents is not to be afraid of letting your children show you who they are. People dismiss children a lot and tell them they don't know what they want and are too young to understand – but they have their own minds, just like everyone else."
“If you take the time to sit down and really listen to a child, you'd be surprised at what they know. The worst thing you can do is shut them down and be small-minded. At the end of the day, you should love and support your children 100 per cent, regardless of whether they want to be a doctor, a cop or a drag queen."

We're all self-conscious about something, and it doesn't help when our faults get thrown in our faces. You don't want doctors hinting that something is "weird down there," nor do you want someone to tell you you're balding. WE KNOW.

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When you know your kids backwards and forwards, this is the best tool in your arsenal.

Getting our kids to listen to us is not always the easiest of tasks. They're willful and stubborn, but we've got a mighty weapon they are rarely prepared for: reverse psychology. Getting them to convince themselves to want to do something against their own initial intentions takes some work and a whole lot of creativity, but a little sneaky manipulation goes a long way. Here are some clever parents' tricks that are definitely worth taking notes on.

Redditor u/LeanderD Asks:

Parents of reddit, what's your best example of reversed psychology on your kids that actually worked?

He Floated His Idea Through A Back Channel

Giphy

Wanted to name my boat. Anything I would think of was dismissed as stupid by my 13 year old son. After deciding on a name, I confided to a male friend my son liked. Made my friend suggest the name as though it was his idea. My son thought the name was perfect. Done.

calypsodweller

We Always Want What We Can't Have

One of my best friends through childhood used to be punished with no salad if she misbehaved. She cherishes salad now and would always try to eat as much as possible during school lunch. Coincidentally, her now husband used to be punished with no books, it had the same effect. I think it's hilarious that they'd be hitting the salad bar and library like some black market their narc parents couldn't reach hahaha.

cookiearthquake

A Deceit That's A Cut Above The Rest

Giphy

Don't know if this counts, but, at my high school (private, boys only) in the 1960's, they made a big deal about how long your hair was, and would occasionally order a boy to go home and "get a haircut".

I thought it was stupid, until years later, a master confided to me at a reunion that the policy was deliberate. The school figured we'd spend so much energy rebelling about hair length, that we would ignore other aspects of teenage rebellion. (Not?) Surprisingly, they were mostly right.

FrankDrakman

Damn! That's smart. Wow.

fangxx456

Oh they don't like long hair?

I'll show them. I'll grow my hair out as lon- what?! No I don't want to go "party"? I gotta try out this horse shampoo.

DankeyKang11

The Forbidden Book

Hi I was a victim,

There was a forbidden book that I was not allow to read on the shelf. My parents said I could only read it if I behave myself.

It was summer holidays and I was playing games all day (after 6 hrs of summer homework). One day I was home alone and had the opportunity to grabbed it. I read like half of it in one go. It was 5000 years of Chinese history.

Safe to say I was bamboozled.

oddstodd

Flowers Of The Queen

My parents always told me my broccoli were the flowers of the queen and that I really shouldn't eat them, or else the queen would get very upset! I, of course, ate the whole broccoli in a few seconds.

Subwoofy

I'm telling the queen and she's gonna be pissed

draculacletus

Sleeping Beauty

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I taught my kids when they were toddlers that no amount of yelling, shaking or hitting can wake a sleeping adult. The only thing that works is a gentle hug and/or a nice kiss on the cheek.

Edit: Probably needed some more details for the reverse psychology aspect to be clear. It went something like this - Step one, tell the kids I'm going to sleep and nothing they do will wake me (head buried face down is the safest position). Step two, after the initial onslaught dies down pretend to awaken on your own. Tell them you got a bit of nap left in you and nothing can wake you, especially not hugs and kisses.

DrMethusael

Holy sh*t...if my daughter woke me up like this I would buy her a pony.

All-Seeing_Elon

I am saving this comment because this will save lives if I ever have kids, stg.

smerter

A Walk In Someone Else's Shoes.

Split custody with my ex. When my son was around 10, he visited two weekends a month. I was waiting tables and didn't have a huge amount to spend, but he was so needy from divorce (and I'm not blaming him, it was ugly), he begged constantly for MORE when he was with me. Whatever more was, it didn't matter... he'd be eating ice cream cone and begging for teriyaki.

I finally realized that he just felt empty, and getting MORE whatever from me wasn't filling him up. His next visit I handed him $100 in cash and told him it was our food/fun budget for 3 days and two nights, and he was in charge of it. I bought him his own wallet to carry. We figured out how many times we were going to eat and what we were going to do, and he paid. He got to keep whatever money he had left...thought he was rich...then realized just how much everything cost. Well. Shoe on other foot then. If we had no money for food, we ate leftovers - and I didn't contribute more to pot. After a few weekends of running short or not getting something he actually wanted because he was foolish with funds, he started to really think about how to spend that money. He budgeted and kept to his budget. And a few times he actually went home with a little cash for his private stash.

Many years later, he thanked me for this. It really changed the way he thought about money and love.

Augumenti

This Is Worth Giving A Shot

Took my 3 year old son to one of those doctor's visits where he was going to get a shot. He was worried about the shot on the whole drive over, almost to the point of tears. We get to the doctor's office and a nurse subtly lets me know that my son is not just scheduled for 1 shot, but 5 of them in the same visit.

I turn to my son with an exaggerated smile and tell him, "Good news! They figured out how to take that one big shot you were going to get and instead break it up into these 5 little tiny shots so it won't hurt nearly as much!"

You could see the relief wash over his face. He stopped squirming and relaxed completely. He took the first shot and even smiled and said "It's true! The small ones don't hurt!"

We actually made it through the third shot before the effect wore off and reality kicked in. Still... I counted it as a victory.

blackbird77

Put This To The Taste

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My mom would tell me she only lets me eat soup after candy and she'd only buy me candy that i didn't like. After a few times, i stopped trying and begged her to let me eat soup first. She gave me a smirk and told me go ahead. This doesn't sound as evil as it was. But trust me i suffered.

turkeypr0

So what was the candy?

Poster_Main

Mint chocolate, raisins, stuff like that. I still hate them to this day. Who the f--- thought while eating chocolate "hmm id like some tooth paste with this."

turkeypr0

This is Truckin' Awesome

Mum had sworn a bit around the house.

When 4, while out at the supermarket, I said F word really loudly.

Very quickly and intently, she asked if I had just said "Truck" and said that was a bad word and not to ever say Truck like that again.

I thought that was the bad word so used that when being naughty.

GodOfTheThunder

The "Silly Mom" Routine

The "Silly Mom" routine.

My kid, and a few other kids I've known, would balk at getting ready to go. I'd grab their clothes and say, "Well, if you won't put on your clothes, I guess I'll put on your clothes. Cute shirt, by the way! Does it go on my foot?"

NO!

"Does it go on my head?"

NO! IT GOES ON ME!

"Oh, that's right, thanks! So, it must go on your legs, right?"

NO!

"I just can't figure this out! Where does this adorable shirt go?"

[kid grabs shirt and puts it on] ON MY TUMMY! SILLY MOM!

"Oh, thank you so much! Now what about these pants? Shirts go on tummies, so...the pants go on the tummy, too, right?"

NO!

[continue until kids have dressed themselves]

I would also do things like hand the kid my keys and say, "Alright, you're driving, I'll sit in the booster seat in back," attempt to feed the kid by putting a spoon up to his ear or his belly button, and attempt to put away his toys in the refrigerator.

insertcaffeine

Some Foot For Thought.

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My mum would always yell at us "if you don't do X, you have to go to bed without socks!"

I never wore socks anyway, and I'm ashamed to admit that this worked.

Splittsky

That would work really well on my son, or make him cry for a really long time... He's 3 and over the last few weeks has decided that he is fully unable to sleep without socks on.

PJQueen

Toddlers man. Completely unpredictable.

SheaRVA

I'm Greens With Envy

My mum had a friend that would put vegetables on her own plate and not the kids.

When the kids asked she would be reluctant to share, "that's grown up food. But I suppose I can let you have a little."

Her kids grew up loving vegetables.

I sat at the dinner table for 3 hours staring at the yucky cauliflower I refused to eat.

laik72

This reminds me of an instance when my child convinced my wife and myself to change our plans for dinner. We were in a grocery store to pick up something quick and easy to eat that we wouldn't have to prepare. Our daughter, wanted none of that, she demanded that she wanted a salad from the salad bar. We started to argue back, but then realized: "Our child demands that we feed her vegetables for dinner instead of a microwaved meal, why are we saying 'No?'"

We had salad for dinner that night.

Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

The Power Of Choice

I don't so much know if you would call it reverse psychology, but I didn't realize it until my dad told me this.

When there were chores that needed doing, he noticed if he asked me to mow the lawn, I would complain and procrastinate. But if he asked would I rather mow the lawn or wash the windows, I'd pick one and just get it done.

Shattered my brain when he told me when I was in my twenties. I use it when I'm coaching or baby sitting all the time and it almost never fails.

AppealToReason16

The Boy Who Cried 'Ouch'

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I've done this one with tens of kids. Any time a kid gets "hurt" (falls down on grass, gets gently hit in the face with a ball, etc.) instead of stopping the activity to pick the kid up and see if they're ok you just scoot them off to the side and resume. Within 10 seconds of not getting all the attention and seeing the fun is resuming they pop right back up and are magically healed.

This of course is only for the "injuries" that aren't actually injuries.

pedanticProgramer

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