People Break Down Their Craziest 'Oh, You're Not Joking?' Experiences

Oh, bless your heart.

"Had an old lady ask me when her dog would grow its leg back after an amputation."- Moctor_Drignall

Don't mind if I do

"I was eating ice cream and an old guy walking into the ice cream parlor said, 'Oh, that looks good! I'm gonna get a spoon'."

"I smiled and laughed awkwardly, until his damn spoon was in my ice cream."- KnittingTrekkie

Feedback is greatly appreciated

"It was when I met up with an online friend for the first time."

"It was surprisingly more fun than I thought it would be."

"By the end of the night, as we were waiting to get served at a restaurant, she looked at me and asked how I thought our outing went."

"I told her that I had a great time."

"But that didn't seem to do it for her."

"She proceeded to tell me about how she does this thing, at the end of every outing with her friends, where she rates and gives feedback on how well it went, what didn't go so well, and what could do with some improvement for next time."

"I laughed it off, thinking she was joking."

"It all felt too robotic and school-like for me to take seriously."

"But she definitely was serious."

"I told her to go first so I could get an idea of what she wanted and, I kid you not, she whipped out her phone and started drafting up multiple paragraphs for about 7 minutes or so."

"I felt so awkward because it was also 7 minutes of pure silence and deep concentration."

"Thankfully, I had to leave mid-way because I was needed elsewhere."

"I told her to just text me her thoughts when she was done but she insisted that that wasn't the way to do it, and it HAD to be done in person."

"I still can't believe this is something her and her friends regularly do."- reigndrops17

We'll take the house, no need for a bag.

​"Working in a catalog store in the UK."

"You pick from the catalog, we bring it out from the warehouse."

"Lady comes in and orders the single largest thing we keep in store."

"A shed. "

"Not a particularly big shed as sheds go, but still a shed."

"'Ok madam if you give me your vehicle's registration number I'll tell the security guys to let you round the back of the store'."

"'Park in bay five and we'll load it for you'."

"'What are you talking about?'"

"'You have to park around back so we can load it into your vehicle'."

"'I don't have a vehicle'."

"'Oh, well, we have the numbers for some white van men and taxi services if you'd like to...'"

"'No just bring it up, Keith can carry it'."

"She indicates a portly man of around 50 across the room'."

"We got it into the lift diagonally, though it trapped a man behind it, and when it came up she said 'what on earth is that?'"

"'That's your shed, madam'."

"'My Keith can't carry that!'"

"'Yeah no sh*t, would you like me to call a van service for you?'"

"She actually just got a refund and left."- reverendmalerik

That's not yours, its mine!

"I work at a hotel."

"We have this regular who comes, but usually makes reservations ahead of time, and she has her 'favorite' room she tries to get."

"Well one day she walked in, asking for a room."

"I had rooms available, but not the one she wanted, and she replied 'oh, call the guests in that room and tell them to move out so I can have it'."

"I seriously thought that was a joke and I played along, saying 'I'll get right on that,' as I was getting her info in the computer."N

"All of a sudden she said, 'aren't you going to call them?'"

"'Call who?'"

"'Those guests in that room so I can have it'."

"'Oh, you really weren't joking'."

"I told her that we don't do that, if she wanted that room she needed to call ahead."

"'I have a room, I know it's not your preferred room but it's all I've got, and you can take it or leave it, but I'm not moving a guest out'."

"She seemed almost taken aback by that, but I told her that if she didn't take the room I had she wouldn't get anything."

"She calls ahead now, but I was mortified and shocked she actually tried this stunt, and actually meant it."- llcucf80

What is the meaning of this?!

"Used to work at a big bank that bought out another, somewhat smaller but still pretty big bank about 10 years ago."

"Some guy came in all pissed off because we didn't send him a new debit card with the new bank's logo on it."

"They intentionally made it so the old ones would continue working until they were originally set to expire."

Said it was "'embarrassing'."

"'I can't be the only person who's gotten upset over this, right?'"

"Yeah homie, you were."- giantgoose

Nah, I just do this for fun...

"Back at an old job, retail, I was wearing the uniform with the company name plastered across the front while on a ladder working on a project."

"A customer comes up to me and very seriously looks up and goes 'do you work here'?"

"I just looked at her dumbfounded and judging on her expression change, I'm guessing she quickly realized how dumb that question was."-

That's what you get for skipping math...

"I was talking to my friend the other day about smart people and he said 'the smartest equation that I know is force x acceleration = mass'."

"I said 'good one'."

"He said 'good what?'"- unhollow_knight

Oof...

"My friend said his dad left so I went on with 'oh yeah what kind of b*tches your daddy getting in the milk section at Walmart?'"

"He looked at me with the most hurt look in his eyes."- Limp_Law_3432

A rare, genuine friend.

"Met someone in an 'among us' chat one day and we got along really well."

"We played so many games together and built enough trust to exchange numbers and talk in messages In the game."

"She always talked about how she was a teen mom with twins I always chalked it up to her faking it to protect her identity from online strangers."

"Something I, and probably many others, are guilty of."

"Anyways we talked for a while before she sent me pictures of her with her babies."

"It sunk it that she wasn't lying and she proved it even more by face timing me."

"Her girls were adorable and I'll never forget that friend."

"Unfortunately I lost the phone we met on and I haven't been able to contact her since."- illbehomesoon2027

Customer service at its finest...

"This isn’t a biggie but it left me kinda annoyed."

"I was at the gym and had just started using some equipment when a trainer and his client come over to me."

"Trainer asked how long I’d be."

"I said I just started but I’d be about 10-15 more minutes."

"Trainer looks at me and said 'I’ll give you 5 minutes'.”

"I laughed, thinking he was joking."

"He didn’t laugh."

"He just said 'Go', and walked away with his client."

"Client didn’t say a word."

"I took the time I needed."- DashfulVanilla

What were they going to do with it?

"I was the silly person in this story but that’s okay."

" I was getting my blood drawn and asked if I was able to have my blood back after they tested it."

"The woman looked at me and laughed, assuming I was joking."

"It took her about 10 seconds to realize I wasn’t joking…"- bossybxtch

The children were in such good hands

"I had just started working at my current job about a month prior to this."

"A coworker and I were talking about favorite books when a younger coworker walked in and said, 'oh, I don't believe in books'."

"We laughed...she didn't."

"So I said, but...they exist, see?"

"Picked up several books to show her. She rolled her eyes and said, 'well I know books really exist, but I don't believe in reading"

"...uh...we're working at a school, proooobably not the best place to denounce books."- DishyPanHands

What world are they living in"

"When someone asked me 'Who won the civil war?'"- PothierM

It's easy to understand how these poor people thought what they had just heard was a joke.

One imagines, going forward, they might wait to laugh until after the people they were talking to start laughing.