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Politician's Tennis Court Reopening Goes Hilariously Off The Rails After She Suggests Kicking People's Balls

Darren Rovel / Twitter

You know how sometimes your mouth just says stuff without really running it past your brain? So you kind of end up hearing it for the first time right along with whoever you're talking to? And sometimes you really wish spoken words had a take-backsies or unsend kind of policy?

If so, you know exactly what Nassau County Executive Laura Curran is feeling right now - except her verbal faceplant happened in front of the press ... so now all of internet can laugh at it too!


Thankfully, everyone seems to be appreciative and understanding of Curran's plight. After all, she did have to give a presser about appropriate ways to handle balls. There was no way this wasn't going to go sideways.

Nassau County has been effectively closed for weeks right along with the rest of New York, but things are beginning to re-open. Ms. Curran was speaking to a crowd to discuss new guidelines for playing on the tennis courts.

Specifically, Ms. Curran needed to explain tennis ball rules and etiquette.

Rule Number One:

"Every player, unless they're from the same household, has to bring their own tennis balls so that you don't touch other people's tennis balls..."

So far so good. Makes sense. Gotta be responsible. Except she didn't leave it there. She went on to clarify in possibly the most awkward way. Instead of starting a new sentence, Mr. Curran's brain sort of just continued with her last ones. So there was a pause and then

... this...

"Um... with your hands. You can KICK their balls, but you can't touch them."

Y'all... this lady said "kick" so loud. Not only did she nearly shout it, but she did a demonstrative kick to add even more emphasis to the already oddly emphasized word.

Ms. Curran was so passionate about these balls, fam. You can tell by her hand motions (oh there's totally a video, we'll get there.) just how much ball safety means to her!

And then she had a sudden moment of realization that she didn't specify tennis balls and basically just told patrons of the tennis court to socially distance by kicking each other in the crotch.

It's cringey, but in an adorable way because you can tell it's just 'cause she really means it. Laura Curran really wants everyone's balls safe.

She acknowledged the awkward - how could she not with everyone chuckling?

"I'm going to blush, sorry."

But Ms. Curran is a professional and she forged ahead ... awkwardly.

"Um, of course if you're playing with someone in your household you can touch those tennis balls. Uh, to avoid confusion between whose balls are whose you can use a marker, like a sharpie, to mark out to put an X or to put someone's initials on them."

Laura Curran might be everyone's favorite politician right now thanks to this much-needed moment of levity. Things have been rough, we can all use a little laugh about balls.

Her rules about balls are people's favorite new pandemic rules, at least.


Twitter loves this. Just straight up loves it.








We'd like to give a special shoutout to the gentleman on the right side of the frame who casually cha-cha slides out of the shot after Laura's flub. If we were playing the "tag yourself" game with this clip, we would totally be you.

Who would you be?