Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

It Turns Out We've Been Storing Peanut Butter Wrong This Whole Time—And We're Shook 😱

It Turns Out We've Been Storing Peanut Butter Wrong This Whole Time—And We're Shook 😱
Pexels // Tookapic

Peanut butter is as close to manna from heaven as we're likely to get in this world of raging wars, genocide, extensive human rights violations and Logan Paul videos.

As such, it should––much like the shrine to George Washington Carver that the government should mandate in every home––be stored properly.


(Note: If you're allergic, you are exempt. If you just don't like it, to Room 101 you'll go!)

Sad news, dear readers: We've been storing peanut butter the wrong way. We will never be able to outrun our guilt.

According to a report from Delish.com––can you tell I'm totally taking the team at Delish seriously?––we should be ashamed.

We quite literally need to turn the world of peanut butter upside down:

"If you're as deeply invested in the life of peanut butter as I am, you know that when you have a jar of natural PB, it develops a little pool of oil on the top. Which is when the churning and twisting (in a very dramatic way) is necessary, in order to happily consume oil-free PB."
"But, when you store the good stuff upside down, the oil will evenly distribute throughout the entire jar, instead of in a stagnant liquid bath on top."
"Another way to ensure that oil stops pooling at the top? Refrigerate the stuff upside down. Not only will you not have to deal with a liquid-y, nut butter-y mess when you fervently open your jar, but you'll also have a creamier peanut butter that'll hold its own against whatever it is you're pairing it with."

How could we have been so foolish, so unrepentantly cruel to each creamy (or crunchy, take your pick), glorious, decadent glob?

Fortunately for us, social media has allowed us to document this most heinous crime for quite awhile. The "laws"––new to so many of us––had, much like jaywalking or colluding with foreign operatives, had just never been enforced.






Everyone here is guilty, yes, but to quote the great Celeste Talbert, they're merely "guilty of love––in the first degree."

Go easy on them.

(Nah, just throw them into the bloody pit.)

More from Trending

Person who removed their wedding ring
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Divorced People Reveal What Really Ended Their Marriage Of Over A Decade

When it comes to long-term relationships and marriages, generally it seems like the longer the relationship lasts, the more of a "sure thing" it seems to be. If a couple has already been together this long, surely they can work through anything!

But there are some offenses that are far too big to overcome, and much less obvious to anyone on the outside looking in, the little things can hugely and hurtfully add up over the years.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Nick Fuentes; Donald Trump
@Ronxy00/X; Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Nick Fuentes Finally Realizes Trump Is A 'Scam Artist' In Savage Rant: 'The Liberals Were Right'

Far-right podcaster and white nationalist Nick Fuentes railed against "scam artist" President Donald Trump and criticized the larger MAGA movement, calling it "the biggest scam in American history."

Fuentes spoke as Trump continues to face criticism for rejecting calls to release the Epstein files, which are said to contain detailed lists of some of the late financier, pedophile, and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein's most high-profile clients and enablers.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of @_maycontain's TikTok video
@_maycontain/TikTok

TikToker Sparks Debate After Having Flight Attendant Make Life Or Death Nut Allergy Announcement On Flight

TikToker @_maycontain received mixed responses after having a flight attendant make an announcement about his severe nut allergy to his fellow airline passengers; the video has received more than 6 million views.

The video shows a moment between the TikToker—identified as content creator Dan Kelly—and an easyJet flight attendant as he explains his allergy and requests a nut-free announcement on a flight from Pisa to London Gatwick.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots from @mazie.kayee's TikTok video
@mazie.kayee/TikTok

TikToker Praises Target For Swiftly Pulling Toy That Killed Her Cat From Shelves After Hearing Her Story

Content Warning: Pet Loss

Pet parents and human parents everywhere will tell you that it only takes a moment for something to go horribly wrong, and it takes just one time of not noticing symptoms for something irreversible and tragic to occur.

Keep ReadingShow less