Ah yes, the American shopping mall.
We've all hung out after school in one.
Most of us didn't have enough to spend lavishly, but who was there for shopping anyway?
We were there to pass the time with our mischievous cohorts over trays of Sbarro pizza and Hot Dog on a Stick in the food court while tracking each other's progress on Tamagotchis.
Nowadays – social distancing notwithstanding – the popularity of malls has dwindled with the advent of the internet and online shopping.
Today's casual consumer who happens to wander the remaining indoor thoroughfares experiences a venue that are shells of their former selves – with empty store fronts lining the way to mainstays like the Gap or Cheesecake Factory.
Its no wonder the zombie apocalypse is associated with malls in movies. Because malls are dead too.
But with a number of abandoned shopping centers left standing to await their fate across the country, Redditor itsMondaybackwards wondered:
"What cool things could we do with America's dead/abandoned shopping malls?"
For Care
"Nursing home, safe communities for dementia patients. It could have everything a village would have without the elopement risk, a grocery, post office, beauty shop/barber, nail salon, library, movie theater, etc."
For Gaming
"Go karts but like Mario Kart. Have 3 balloons on the back and the karts can shoot at them."
mario kart GIFGiphyFor Work
"My wife's job took over an entire Sears location in a dead mall and now it's a major operations center for the company. Also a local community college took another chunk of the mall."
For Living
"How cool would it be to have an apartment in an abandoned mall with a working food court? You'd never have to leave lol"
"College dorms never deserved the hate they got. Leave your door open whenever you are up for visitors, close it when you don't. Not having to clean the bathroom. Lots of food options that you never have to cook. I'm 40 with two kids and I would move into a dorm room next week if I could."
"There's a very large abandoned shopping mall in Cupertino, maybe a mile from Apple headquarters. Someone's been trying to turn it into housing for years, but the nimbys won't let them do it. So it just decays."
"I used to shop there all the time back in the day. They even had a store that sold swords. I was there a couple years ago. You could still walk around inside, and there was one asian buffet restaurant still doing business there."
For Entertainment
"I always pictured them being a great place for concerts or festivals. Walking to different parts of an old gigantic mall to see shows would be a great adventure imo."
"My wife and I have talked extensively about this. Let the bands sell merch in the small shops, big indoor stages in the department stores. The bands could use the security hallways to safely get to the stages. Plenty of spaces for greenrooms, and even band lodging. I love this idea!"
For Sport
"airsoft/paintball arena."
"That would be sick. I don't know why but I imagine every room being a different environment interior. Like one is a jungle, a desert, rainforest, tundra and things like that."
"Pretty much COD maps lol"
For Community
"Shelters, community centers, healthcare clinics, job agencies, community services, daycares, senior centers, animal shelters, affordable housing, educational centers, trade schools, women's shelters, advocacy groups, after school programs."
For Alcohol
"It would be fun to turn them into 'mega bars' so each shop could be a different kind of bar and you could fit all the major styles under one roof along with some drunchy friendly food and giant dancefloors. Then you could bar hop without worrying about being "drunk in public" or whatever nonsense."
For Fear
"They're all going to become Amazon warehouses, Amazon fulfillment centers, Amazon workers' dorms, Amazon clone farms, Amazon delivery drone maintenance hubs, Amazon gladiator arenas, or Amazon Bezorthodox megachurches."
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@sadcommunistdog; @froglok/Bluesky