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Pets can bring a lot of love and happiness to a person's life, but only if the pet is suited to the person.
A man whose 29-year-old girlfriend of 27 months got him an expected pet found himself questioning whether he handled the situation appropriately.
So he turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for moral judgement.
Redditor Throwaway56181 asked:
"AITA? Gave away an unwanted dog back to breeder."
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"A month ago my then-girlfriend (GF) got me a puppy for my birthday. We had agreed upon a cat from a nearby shelter that was very sweet, and the day she left to 'pick up' the kitty, she instead went to a breeder and brought home a 10-week-old Siberian husky."
"I asked where my new cat was."
"GF decided cats won't help my unmasculine image (I'm a skinny asthmatic-with-glasses who could fit into any nerd movie), but a dog would so she told the shelter I changed my mind and got me something 'better'."
"I hit the f'king roof, told her to get the hell out and take the dog with her. I know about Huskies, my small apartment and homey lifestyle doesn't work for them!"
"I'm more of a fat bulldog lifestyle if I had to get a dog, I admit it. She stormed out and left the dog."
"I took care of him for about a week while trying to find the breeder, meanwhile GF is ignoring my calls and texts."
"This is the AITA part. I broke into her email since her password was saved on my laptop and found some emails with a breeder about a 3 hour drive away."
"I contacted them and talked to a very nice woman who confirmed the dog was hers and was very eager to take him back upon finding out she was lied to over the circumstances the dog was going into."
"We agreed I am not suitable for a husky at all and she offered a full refund for him when she picked him up."
"I told her to keep the money, because GF was a liar and deserved it."
"There was some kind of contract but I never saw it. The lady didn't even hesitate to drive three hours in a pandemic to get the dog back, so he's in good hands."
"GF found out I gave the dog back and couldn't get her money back and said I was an a**hole for 'stealing' the dog and convinced her family somehow that I was in on a scam to bilk her out of two grand."
"We broke up obviously, but how much of an a**hole here am I really?"
The OP added:
"Huskies are badass and cats aren't I guess!"
"It would 'get me out more'."
"I just wanted a mellow lap warmer, not a fifteen year project in marathon running and insanity."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole in this scenario.
"NTA. You and the dog both dodged bullets. Did you get the kitty?" ~ Renzieface
The OP responded:
"I'm working on it!"
"When she told them I wasn't interested it kicked me out of their application cue, so I had to resubmit, and they don't like homing pets this close to Christmas, ironically because of people gifting pets."
The OP's fellow Redditors agreed the puppy was a gift, therefore his ex-girlfriend wasn't entitled to any money.
"NTA. If you can't have a husky because you can't care for it properly in your environment then you shouldn't have a husky, and why would she agree on a cat with you and then get a dog?"
"What the hell? A cat won't help you 'unmasculine image' but a dog will? How does that work?"
"If your girlfriend is calling you unmasculine there's something wrong. I don't think she deserved to get her money back but that is my opinion." ~ Any-Play2960
"You did the right thing, how dare she take a puppy into a situation for those reasons. NTA." ~ hjhof1
"Definitely NTA, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Wtf is up with this 'unmasculine image' sh*t
"If someone can be as bold as this guy and not be ashamed of himself, then nobody should [consider him unmasculine]." ~ JACK-SQUAT
"I don't know about cats not being masculine. Having cats can give a great villian vibe."
"Vito Corleone and Cannoli"
"Ernst Stavro Blofeld and Oliver" ~ Mystery_Substance
"My husband has a massive floofy black cat that looks like its wandered straight out of a Dracula film."
"He loves this ridiculous cat and yes he looks like an evil villain."
"NTA sounds like your ex has a strong case of toxic masculinity." ~ underweasl
"Read this and then the villain from inspector gadget popped onto my head, LOL."
"Also, OP is NTA he did the right thing, and it is not in any way 'unmasculine' to own a cat." ~ super_poggielicious
"NTA—you took the right steps to give the puppy back where it has less of a possibility of ending up in a shelter and had already told your girlfriend that you were more of a cat person."
"It's her fault she is out the $2,000 and boyfriend." ~ Easy_Refrigerator_2
"The reaction of the breeder says it all, you did the right thing by the puppy (and you!). NTA."
"And congrats on getting rid of a toxic relationship." ~ ponypuddle86
"NTA. You're absolutely right that Huskies need specific home scenarios where they have room to run, a pack, and tons of free time on the part of their owners to get them out and exercise them constantly."
"If it weren't a matter of the dog desperately needing help, I could hate on the email hack, but what you did was the exact right thing for the dog."
"Your girlfriend is absolutely the AH here." ~ rileygreyy
"Even if it was a lower energy, less specialist dog I'd still go NTA because it's not like he snooped reading all her emails, he gave it a week of trying to get the info directly from her and then tried something else."
"He doesn't want a dog because it doesn't fit his lifestyle or wants at the moment. So any dog is the wrong dog for his apartment and he did the right thing getting it back to the breeder." ~ bagheera88
"NTA. Real men have cats. 😉"
"Seriously though, I've had huskies and they are a crap ton of work. And a puppy? Property destruction with fur!" ~ LittleMtnMama
"Men with cats are sexy af. Go google 'hot guys with cats'."
"Tell me that's unmasculine." ~ yay_darkness
Redditors all felt no pet should be kept just because it is a gift. The best environment for the animal should be the priority.
And the ex-girlfriend's reason for gifting the inappropriate dog instead of the wanted cat was an example of how toxic masculinity hurts everyone.