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Well this is one way to get back at your ex...
A Missouri woman has been awarded $5.2 million dollars by insurance company Geico after she claimed she contracted an sexually transmitted disease while having sex in her now-ex-boyfriend's car.
Unsurprisingly, Geico plans to appeal the decision in federal court, but for now the woman is multimillionaire because her boyfriend failed to disclose his infection before they rumbled in the backseat.
\u201cGeico ordered to pay $5.2M to woman who claims she caught STD during sex in car https://t.co/uMrCAYacdR\u201d— New York Post (@New York Post) 1654792085
The saga began in February 2021 when the woman, identified in court papers simply as M.O., announced her intention to sue Geico for damages because her then-boyfriend knowingly transmitted HPV, or human papillomavirus, during their car-based encounter.
HPV is an exceedingly common infection that affects roughly 45% of men. The risks posed to men center mostly on very rare genital cancers.
But for women, the risks are far, far more dire, making them far more susceptible to cervical and other genital cancers that are frequently deadly for women.
But how does that translate to liability on the part of a car insurance company?
Great question, but an arbitrator involved in M.O.'s case decided the company was liable because the couple's sex in the ex-boyfriend's car "directly caused, or directly contributed to cause" M.O.'s HPV infection.
The company asked that the judgment be thrown out, claiming errors made by a lower Circuit Court violated their due process rights, but that request was denied.
Geico then filed an appeal, and Missouri's Court of Appeals moved to uphold the judgment, making M.O. $5.2 million richer--at least for now. Geico's federal court appeal may of course change that.
On Twitter, the case left many people slack-jawed.
\u201cUnless her boyfriend was the little lizard from Geico, this is THE dumbest court decision EVER! What's next, sue Marriott if you get an STD while having sex in one of their hotels?\u201d— Gov. Mike Huckabee (@Gov. Mike Huckabee) 1654881836
\u201cSome madwoman got an STD by having sex with her boyfriend in his car (and he apparently didn\u2019t disclose he had an STD),\n\nand because she got it in the car, the boyfriend\u2019s insurance company (Geico) was order to cover it under his liability insurance.\u201d— Maw (@Maw) 1654882099
\u201cWoman sues Geico for 5.2 million dollars and wins on appeal. Her claim, she had sex with a dude in his car which was insured by Geico and he failed to inform her he had an STD which she contracted. She went after his liability policy... Brilliant\u201d— Rob & The Grateful Fred (@Rob & The Grateful Fred) 1654732859
\u201cSo....Geico was just ordered to pay a woman $5.2 million because she had sex with a man in his car & he gave her an STD. \n\nI just...I just can't. \ud83e\udd26\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\u201d— Breck Worsham (@Breck Worsham) 1654877893
And of course, people couldn't help but crack wise about the absurdity of it all, and there was a flood of jokes based on Geico's ubiquitous advertising campaigns.
\u201cJust released photo of the culprit who gave the woman an STD that cost GEICO $5.2 million\u201d— JSWilliams1962 (@JSWilliams1962) 1654881229
\u201cIn fairness: having sex in a GEICO car is so easy a caveman can do it.\ud83e\udd37\u200d\u2642\ufe0f\u201d— philospeak | Former Ministry of Truth Czar (@philospeak | Former Ministry of Truth Czar) 1654784937
\u201cGeico must pay a Missouri woman $5.2M after she caught HPV from unprotected sex with her then-boyfriend in his insured automobile.\nSee? I've been proven right- you CAN catch STDs from car seats.\u201d— Renee Libby \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Renee Libby \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\uddf8\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1654880944
\u201cMan I hope GEICO makes the cartoon lizard address this\n\nhttps://t.co/HqySGYrWYB\u201d— Amos Posner (@Amos Posner) 1654718597
\u201c15 minutes made her a lot more than 15% with GEICO\u201d— Micah Israel (@Micah Israel) 1654877566
\u201cI\u2019m about to go have unprotected sex in my car and contract an STI. Get your wallet ready @GEICO\u201d— AJ & Smitty Fan Account (@AJ & Smitty Fan Account) 1654808273
Geico Gecko, if you're reading this, answer for your crimes!