Former Cult Members Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were In A Cult

I've always wondered how people end up in cults.

I get people who are born into them.

Their freedom of choice was taken away.

But I can almost immediately tell when people are in some kind of group that is sketchy.

They push the fervent chatter about the wonders of the community they've created.

Thankfully, many people find ways to break free.

There are so many heroic tales of people fleeing these groups and living a great life.

Redditor carcony97 wanted to hear about the times people came to terms with their inner circles, so they asked;

"Former cult members — what was the exact moment you realized you were in a cult?"

SCHOOLED

"They don't want you to go to college because you will be led astray by Evolution."

"I went to college and they taught me about cults."

- Ncfetcho

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STONED

"When I was at a band rehearsal and dropped to the floor all but screaming in pain from what turned out to be gallstones and instead of calling an ambulance for me they started praying over me, some in tongues. Literally physically restraining me to stop me as I struggled to get up to leave as one person suggested me wanting to leave meant I was possessed, so they had to pray harder for me."

- wwaxwork

Secret Studies

"I'm a former Jehovah's Witness. I learned after I had left. I had abusive parents who would regularly beat me over false accusations, and I was isolated enough that my interaction with other JWs was limited to Bible studies. I quietly became an atheist since all of my prayers fell on deaf ears."

"Then my parents did something very illegal. They scammed money from other relatives who needed it for medication. This resulted in the death of my uncle who died in my house. I went to the JWs for help. I got a meeting with elders."

"They told me to forget about it and that I'd find peace joining them."

- TheRexRider

REIKI

"It was through one of those New Age 'Angelic Reiki Healing' businesses. I was going to this place for over a year for mental health issues."

"The former 'mentor' convinced me to go off of my antidepressants. I felt horrible and had daily suicide ideations. In the next session, I told her that I was going back on them, and she responded with, 'They block you from your higher self.'"

"I shortly left that place. F**k her and her toxic bulls**t. It fractured my identity and had to reclaim myself."

- WhereIsMyCuppaTea

1979

"When the surprise junior high youth group activity meant hustling us all, boys and girls, into a room together to be shown an extremely graphic film of an abortion being performed. No context, no warning, just straight to the action. It was 1979 and most of us CHILDREN had never even heard of abortion at that point in our lives. The church elders gave zero shits about the trauma they were inflicting, they just wanted to push their agenda."

- FacePunchPow5000

Money Trail

"The low-level teachers who new members interact with were sweet old hippies who genuinely wanted to teach meditation and help people. The first time I met the higher-ups (who got all the money), I immediately pegged them as users and narcissists."

- maester_blaster

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SHEBANG

"I was 14 or 15 at church, and we were learning about 'God’s plan'- the whole shebang from behind the veil to after death. and I asked the teacher a question- I can’t even remember what it was- and she said, 'Huh, that’s a great question!! I’ll talk to the bishop and see if you’re allowed to ask that!'”

"I could tell she didn’t mean to phrase it that way, but she didn’t correct herself either. I was pissed, though. I should be ALLOWED to ask whatever go**amn questions I want (and I expect you to have an answer of SOME kind), and if you don’t think I should be questioning something, I’m going to question everything. f**k you."

- stravacious

4 to 1

"When my grandmother told me that men can have four women, but I can’t have four men."

"That’s when I decided I do not want to be part of that."

"To be fair, I was never really inside the cult. But this part made sure that I immediately lost my interest forever becoming part of that cult."

- MoppeldieMopp

We are who we are...

"Weirdly enough, the founder of my old cult (The Family International, formerly known as The Children of God) didn't shy away from the cult label. At least not internally."

"So I guess I realized it when I was a kid, and I read something he wrote along the lines of, 'Yes we're a cult. All religions are cults. Ours is just better.'"

"The man was insane and did a lot of f**ked up things, but I kind of respect that candor, even now."

- sskg

EXCOMMUNICATED

"When I told someone (about 3 years after it folded due to finances) how I grew up, how I didn’t get to make any choices on my own, I was completely unaware and cut off from the outside world, how we dressed and how anyone who left was excommunicated and they said: 'Oh my god you were in a cult!' When that’s all you know, and you’re born into it like I was, the reality of your situation is clouded, on purpose."

- idasrogue

Hot Blood

"When they sat me in a circle of women and told me how bad of a single parent I was for not making all the meetings with a six-month-old. My scorpion blood ran hot and I made all of them cry individually with what I knew about them. Last meeting I ever attended."

- No_Competition_7506

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Small Cracks...

"Often the moment of realization comes like a quiet crack in a wall you didn’t know was closing in on you. Someone asks a simple question you can’t honestly answer, or you witness something that doesn’t match what you’ve been taught to believe. It’s rarely dramatic at first, just unsettling, then it grows."

- KayleeWitherspoon

The Basics

"When I was a teenager, my church hosted a week-long 'seminar' on 'basic life principles.' I remember going to a week-long event as a child and doing lots of coloring pages while my parents were in meetings, but I didn’t know what it was. Turns out it was Bill Gothard and the Institute of Basic Life Principles. (See the Duggars and the doc Happy Shiny People). Suddenly being homeschooled, all the extreme physical punishment, 'don’t ask questions, just trust and believe' and only being allowed to associate with church members made sense."

- SubjectivelySatan

Power Structures

"I was a yoga teacher. I really really tried to be in the cult. I wanted to believe in God. I wanted to have people that would have my back. I wanted to be connected. I just couldn’t do it, it made me cringe and most yoga teachers are f**king two-faced a**holes. People would just repeat things they heard with no thought as to the truthfulness to it. It makes me sad. I’m out."

"The idea of cult though is interesting in the yoga world because it can be a spiritual cult, or it can be a Lululemon-wearing rich white lady cult where everyone looks the same, acts the same, and your identity is wrapped up in how you look and your physical prowess. A lot of times men end up and the top of the power structure in yoga studios/ideologies, and then it’s a sex cult. There’s a lot to unpack here."

"I just wanted to be in touch with myself and the world and it was an avalanche of nonsense."

- Stomehenge

Prophets

"When I was told that I needed to believe everything Mormon prophets had taught, including horribly racist and sexist teachings that I could not deny were completely wrong on so many levels (like the only way for God to forgive interracial marriage was to both kill yourself and any kids had with your interracial partner)."

"And then when I pushed back I was told I needed to just have faith these same horrible prophets had been called of God and then was given terrible excuses for why they taught such obviously immoral and unethical things."

"Being raised from birth in the Mormon cult I could excuse a lot of things, but some things were just so obviously horrible that I could not. Then I learned later that using prayer as an objective truth-finding system is a lie and does not work, and I was completely out since those 'spiritual witnesses' were all that was keeping me in at that point."

- ammonthenephite

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It seems to me this is more about bad faith actors commandeering religion for their own sinister purposes.

So many lonely people are out there longing to belong.

Too many of these groups take advantage of that.

Be safe out there, y'all.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National

Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/