Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Describe The Dumbest Ways They Ever Injured Themselves As Children

We really need to pay attention more as children. That's a hindsight lesson that we never truly get soon enough. We run too fast. We never look both ways and we always don't care. That's what being a kid is all about. And that is also why so much of our adolescence is spent in an ER.

Nine times out of ten all the injuries could be avoided with a little less stupidity. We're all guilty as silly sin, so let's chat.

Redditor u/Ital_Il_Grande wanted to discuss the ways we've gotten ourselves wounded in the past due to lack of "brain power," by asking:

What's the dumbest way you injured yourself as a kid?

I once cracked my front tooth because I chose to swing around a pole like a stripper. I neglected to notice the rock in my path and once my speed picked up... BOOM!

Man Down

Tired Give Up GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy

"I was bunk buddies with my brother, I always had the lower bunk. one night I convinced my brother to give me the top bunk. woke up in the middle of the night needing to pee. didn't realise I was on the top, face planted the floor. fractured my arm."

- jbearpvcxvzSf

Roll Away

"I attempted to take my brand new roller skates on pavement. I did not understand that it was a terrible idea, I was quite young. I fell and broke my wrist trying to catch myself so I would not land on my butt, which as an adult I think probably would have been preferable."

"When the doctor removed my cast, I was screaming and crying for him to stop because he was burning me with that tool. He assured my mother I was only scared and I was held down so he could finish. I have a permanently disfiguring scar on my hand as a result."

"I do not know what is stupider, that an adult automatically assumes a child is screaming from fear and not agony, or that I took roller skates on pavement instead of waiting for rollerblades. Now that I am thinking on it, I believe that was the first actively traumatizing memory I have. What came before is only half remembered, for which I am grateful."

- micarst

Stay Sober

"When I was 6 years old I stole a beer at a neighborhood party. Someone saw me and asked me what I thought I was doing, so I told him I was getting it for my dad. He believed me, I drank the beer and got drunk. As now known to me you should not drink and drive. I learned that that day as I crashed my tricycle. That is the story of my 6 concussions. Also, I can proudly say I have never driven drunk since!"

- P3pie002

Stop, drop and roll...

"I was told to start the fire on the outdoor grill and was given a cup of gasoline. Age 11. I lit the fire and then spilled the gas on my arm as I tossed the cup on the flames. The fire like... caught and climbed up the liquid while it was in the air and back into the cup in my hand. My arm caught fire before the liquid fully fell onto the grill. I was so shocked I kind of stood there for a second before my 9yr-old brother shoved me down and started screaming, "Stop, drop and roll. Drop and roll!"

- ForestOfHandsNTeeth

Dumb Kids

Mad Marbles GIF by DIRTY VELVET CLOTHINGGiphy

"I think I was like 2 or 3, and my older brother ripped open a beanie baby and shoved a ungodly amount of the beads in our ears. I was a dumb freaking kid. Doctor had to wash and suck out like 20+ beads out of my brothers and I ears."

- r_i_g_g_a_m_a_roll

I never understood the marble fascination. They seem like weapons of mass destruction. And I know roller skates is death on wheels.

Classic

funny kid stuck GIFGiphy

"Head stuck in the banister, classic."

- TapeDeckSlick

Slippin'

"Back when I was a toddler my mom would often bring me and my sisters to my grandmother for her to babysit us. One time while there, i climbed up a flight of stairs on the outside of the stairs. The stairs had a banister i could hold, but once i had reached the top, i slipped and fell 3 meters down."

"I fell down on the playden where my baby sister laid. I fell right on the edge on my belly and luckily both my sister and myself were okay. The real stupid part came when my mom came to pick us up. My grandmother was real nervous and told my mom the big lines, but didn't see it so could not tell everything that happened."

"So my mom asked me to explain what happened. I screamed: I will show you! And ran back up the stairs. My mom and grandmother tried to stop me of course. But before they could i was already on my way down. And that is the story of my 4 concussion."

- P3pie002

The Chunk

"When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade the teacher had us move our desks around in class for some reason. We had those kind of desks with the wooden top and the metal cubby underneath. At one point I bent down to grab something off the floor and somehow slammed my mouth into the metal part and chipped one of my front teeth."

"I amazingly didn't freak out, and I don't even think it hurt that much, but I looked down and there my tooth chunk was on the floor by my feet. I didn't ask to go to the nurse or even tell my teacher what happened, and I guess no one saw it cause I don't remember anyone asking if I was alright. In that moment, all my little kid brain could think was that I could probably still get at least a quarter from the tooth fairy for this, as no one had specified that she needed full teeth for the exchange."

"So I just casually slipped it into my pocket and didn't say a word about it for the rest of the day. When I got home I showed my mom to get her thoughts on what I could get for the tooth chunk, but surprisingly she wasn't as eager to talk business as I was. My tooth is fine now so I assume it was a baby tooth, so no harm done. I didn't get my due interest for the tooth chunk which I think is actually the most painful part of the whole thing."

- Mudbud16

daredevil escapades...

"I had made a jump for my bike out of 2 cinderblocks and a piece of plywood. I was having the time of my life jumping my bike pretending it was a motorcycle. Then it stated to rain. I put my bike in the garage and waited by the window for the rain to stop so I could continue my daredevil escapades in the driveway. Well, after about an hour, the rains let up and I ran outside got my bike and pedaled my bike as fast as I could go."

"I was completely unaware of what effect water has on plywood. I hit the jump, the wood bent in a way it had not bent before the rain and I was launched straight up in the air. landed back first on the 2 cinderblocks and then the bike landed on top of me. With the wind knocked out of me I laid there in quiet agony, not having the air in my lungs to muster a decent cry of pain for a few minutes."

- ELPwork

Thumbs Down

thumb cooking GIF by Disney PixarGiphy

"I was too afraid of going down a slope on a skateboard, so I decided to try to go down while sitting on the skateboard. My thumb went under the wheel and the nail was pulled out right away. It hurt like hell."

- brdieselp

How we survive long enough to reach puberty is a miracle. We should be made to live in bubble wrap until college. I send good luck to all.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshot of Erika Kirk and Caleb Chilcutt
Turning Point USA

Erika Kirk Has Ultimate Freudian Slip While Honoring Student With 'Charlie Kirk Courage Award'

Erika Kirk was mocked online after she had an epic Freudian slip while honoring Utah Valley University student Caleb Chilcutt with the Charlie Kirk Courage Award at Turning Point USA's AmericaFest over the weekend and misspoke while comparing Chilcutt to her late husband, far-right activist Charlie Kirk.

The late Kirk, who was assassinated at UVU in September, was a virulent white supremacist who aligned with the Christian right and advocated for Christian nationalism, promoting a nativist, fundamentalist Christian view of society. All the while, he openly attacked LGBTQ+ rights, backed the white genocide conspiracy theory, and was a major figure in the MAGA movement.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk; Sydney Sweeney
ALLISON ROBBERT/AFP via Getty Images; Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images for Lionsgate

Elon Musk Slammed After He Makes Gross And Juvenile Comment About Sydney Sweeney's Body

Why can't he just continue to fail to make rockets and self-driving electric cars?

Instead, tech billionaire Elon Musk has recently drawn criticism after posting remarks about actress Sydney Sweeney’s appearance following the Los Angeles premiere of The Housemaid. The controversy centers on Musk’s comments about Sweeney’s dress, comments that were seen by many online as focusing on her physical attributes rather than her work.

Keep ReadingShow less
Sam Altman speaking into a microphone with an American Flag in the background.
Andrew Harnik / Staff/Getty Images

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman Just Shared An AI Image Of Himself As A Ripped Firefighter—And Was Promptly Roasted

To say that the rise of artificial intelligence, or AI for short, is a contentious issue would be a gross understatement.

In addition to the growing concern that AI will create job scarcity in almost every profession, recent studies have shown AI continues to leave a devastating carbon footprint. Its water usage alone surpassed the entirety of bottled water worldwide.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Thomas Massie; Pam Bondi
CBS; Win McNamee/Getty Images

GOP Rep. Thomas Massie Threatens To Impeach Pam Bondi Over Heavily-Redacted Epstein Files

Kentucky Republican Representative Thomas Massie announced that he's launched an impeachment investigation into Attorney General Pam Bondi following the release of several heavily-redacted files related to the late financier, pedophile, and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

Massie and California Democratic Representative Ro Khanna, sponsors of the Epstein Files Transparency Act signed by President Donald Trump on November 19, say the Justice Department has failed to comply with the law by missing the December 19 release deadline and providing documents that are heavily redacted and incomplete.

Keep ReadingShow less
Jack Black and Paul Rudd discussing Elle Fanning's comments
@efanningmedia/X

Jack Black's Reaction To Elle Fanning Calling Him 'Sex On Legs' Is Hilariously On Brand

Crush alert! Turns out Elle Fanning has kinda got it bad for none other than Jack Black. Hey, everyone is someone's type!

It all began when Fanning took part in Vanity Fair's popular lie detector test video series, during which Fanning was forced to confess her undying attraction to Black.

Keep ReadingShow less