People Confess The Dumbest Thing They Ever Believed As A Child

Places that aren't actually places

I think this one is pretty common, but I thought the black market was a literal place where you could go buy illegal things.

sleepyhollow_101

Similarly I thought the "under ground rail road" was a series of under ground tunnels between houses. I distinctly remember my teacher saying "it's not literally a railroad underground" and I took that to mean it is underground, just not a railroad

Mountain_Situation89

Scientifically speaking... just wrong.

Bleach burns a hole through anything it touches.

Baacil

Traffic lights have to be someone's job, right?

That monkeys with computers sat inside traffic lights to change the colour.

Edit: I think the worst part it that I asked my dad how the lights knew when to change and that was his response.

booboochou

I was 100% sure that there were people on the inside of the poles, so when the light was taking a while, I would tap my knuckles against the pole to let them know that I was ready to cross. I also was terrified that the person inside would die and no one would ever know, but most importantly, I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO CROSS.

Sadd_Appointment_9632

Kinder-garden?

Kindergarten was some kind child labor camp where 5 year olds were sent to do gardening. I thought my bookbag was going to be to carry the veggies I picked.

whiteclawsmurderpaws

How did no one notice this?

Not sure if this qualifies as stupid but when I was young (age 4 till age 8 or so I guess) I believed that when I went to school my cat would enter the sewer through the toilet. He would walk to a secret tunnel to go to his secret kitty mine to look for gold and cat food. I put the lunch my mom prepared for me in a drain at the school's playground hoping it would reach our cat if he didn't manage to find cat food in his secret mine so he wouldn't starve.

I skipped lunch for years without anybody noticing or knowing about it, I'm pretty sure I haven't told this to most people I'm close with lol.

psilocybinpotato420

Parents, be careful what you say!

My dad would tease I'd get hair on my chest from red pepper flakes on my pizza. So for years I thought spicy food made people hairy and women must not eat much spicy food. Except my grandma who did and plucked her mustache. So I was careful not to eat Too much.

mannequinlolitanequinlolita

High T-reason

That in England tea time was mandatory and if you didn't drink tea at tea time you'd be executed by the queen.

HavulluCrept

I think these kids need a biology lesson.

I once swallowed two marbles when I was 2 or 3 and until I was like 10 I believed that these marbles were in my nutsack for some reason.

Parsecer

No one explained to me that the vagina had an opening, so when I was a kid I used to think that the man would rub his penis on the outside of it. Made for a lot of funny moments when other kids would mock sex by holding their left hand in a circle shape and putting the right finger in. I was over here looking like I was spreading butter on toast with my left hand flat and my right index finger "spreading the butter".

magnesium1

When my body parts touch each other while I sleep, they grow together forever, so out of fear of my body melting together I slept like a starfish for a few years.

LukXD99

Sometimes we live and learn, sometimes we have to be told we're wrong. Either way, it's fun to hear about how literal kids can be.