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Criminals have tried all sorts of things to avoid prison over the years, but "hey, at least I didn't think about defecating on anyone's desk" has to be unprecedented.
But that's the gambit Capitol rioter Derek Jancart is using in attempt avoid doing prison time for his role in the deadly insurrection.
See the court papers below.
I've never seen this written in federal criminal case before In new motion, Jan 6 defendant Derek Jancart, who's… https://t.co/l8VeFKrTQg— Scott MacFarlane (@Scott MacFarlane) 1632694636.0
Jancart, an Air Force veteran, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct charges for his doings at the Capitol. He is facing a four-month prison term if convicted.
His attorney A. Eduardo Balazero, however, believes such a prison sentence to be overkill for being involved in a melee that resulted in five deaths.
Rather, he suggested 24 months of probation because, as he put it in the court papers:
"[Jancart] did not engage in any violence; did not break anything; did not confront or fight with police."
"He did not enter any offices; did not enter the House or Senate floor; he did not take any 'souvenirs;' did not contemplate defecating on anyone's desk.."
Balazero's petition came in response to the U.S. Department of Justice's sentencing memo in regards to Jancart and his co-defendant, Erik Rau.
Rau confirmed in testimony that he and Jancart entered Pelosi's office, where they heard other rioters yelling "Sh*t on her desk!" Instead, they kept walking deeper into the Capitol until a police officer apprehended them and instructed them to leave.
Balazero went on to state several other reasons he thought Jancart shouldn't serve time for his actions on January 6, but it was the pooping part that really seemed to stand out to people, like a bad smell in the air, if you will.
And on Twitter, people of course had a field day with this bit of news.
@MacFarlaneNews Are there degrees of desk defecation, based on pre-meditation, aggravated, or justifiable bowelcide?— SLBM (@SLBM) 1632695959.0
the i'm spartacus moment except they're all shouting I didn't poop on a congressional desk https://t.co/acwonWS1GS— Bill Myers, Mr. Stinky Chicken Man (@Bill Myers, Mr. Stinky Chicken Man) 1632746768.0
You go with the defense you have, not the defense you want https://t.co/ylp9hV0UjY— AllAloneInTheMoonHat (@AllAloneInTheMoonHat) 1632784387.0
@MacFarlaneNews @kateblood22 I don't buy it. I contemplate pooping on desks nearly every minute of the day. Do I a… https://t.co/y5TKOs7tkb— Barnabas-Enriched Hot Buttered Flaming Batspanx (@Barnabas-Enriched Hot Buttered Flaming Batspanx) 1632696596.0
"Sure, my client wanted to overthrow a democracy, but DID THEY poop on a desk? No, your Honor, they did not! CASE C… https://t.co/vTrX8Iv2cw— Ho-stradamus (@Ho-stradamus) 1632701897.0
@MacFarlaneNews " I mean, Your Honor, who gets up in the morning and thinks that they will be crapping on a lawmake… https://t.co/kVuUIEYjYj— Brenda Townsend (@Brenda Townsend) 1632696057.0
@MacFarlaneNews None of us do, man. That’s the crazy thing - it’s totally unpredictable. I guess desk pooping coul… https://t.co/GKZFEPapd9— Eric Garland (@Eric Garland) 1632694975.0
This Jan 6. insurrectionist, Jancart, wants the judge to spare him jail time because "he . . . didn't contemplate d… https://t.co/PD9V7MGzNK— Estee, BA, MA, PBACC (@Estee, BA, MA, PBACC) 1632773244.0
Federal judges discussing pooping on desks was not on my 2021 BINGO card.— Rocky Mountain Views (@Rocky Mountain Views) 1632761039.0
Jancart is likely to be the first military veteran sentenced for their involvement in the January 6 insurrection.