Woman Pens Powerful Thread About Why We 'Can't Stop Saying Gay'

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        Woman Pens Powerful And Personal Viral Twitter Thread About Why We 'Can't Stop Saying Gay'
    

        Esther Moreno Martinez/EyeEm/Getty Images; @rhiankatie/Twitter
    
By Peter KarlebyApr 12, 2022
Peter Karleby
Peter Karleby is a writer, content producer and performer originally from Michigan. His writing has also appeared on YourTango, Delish and Medium, and he has produced content for NBC, The New York Times and The CW, among others. When not working, he can be found tripping over his own feet on a hiking trail while singing Madonna songs to ward off lurking bears.
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Many have been left outraged and terrified by the onset of Florida's Republican sponsored so-called "Don't Say Gay" legislation and the other homophobic and transphobic GOP bills springing up around the country.
But as the right-wing continues to obfuscate the true intent of the bills, even going so far as to falsely claim they're aimed at protecting children from abuse and pedophilia, others argue the controversy is overblown.
Amid all this debate, one woman's deeply personal Twitter thread has gone viral for the way it powerfully underlines the potential impacts of the bills.
In the lengthy thread, Twitter user Rhian Beutler, who goes by @rhiankatie on the app, posted a personal story involving an LGBTQ+ classmate  from her high school days that illustrates  the very real reasons we "can't stop saying gay" as the right continues its assault on LGBTQ+ people.
You can see her posts here:
Why we can't stop saying gay, a story\n\nOn the first day of my senior year of high school, a new boy showed up in my AP English class. \n\nHe had transferred from a prestigious private school to my public school, and I was confused. \n\nI asked him why he moved and he shrugged  \n\n1/x
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649270156
In her thread, Beutler told the story of a a new boy who joined her class in high school whom she decided to befriend. 
As they became close, she asked him if he was gay, but the answer she received was anything but what she expected.
She soon found out the reason the boy had joined her class was because his parents had found out he was gay and forced him to change schools and that was the least of their retributions. 
As Beutler put it:
"He said he was scared to go home every day."I asked him "is that why you are at our school?" and he said yes and then proceeded to tell me his parents had found out he was gay, pulled him from the school, called him horrible names, abused him, and that he was MISERABLE. \n\nHe said he was scared to go home every day. \n\n6/x
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649270157
The boy told Beutler of the abuse he suffered at the hands of his homophobic parents for being gay. 
My Mom also shared his writings (he loved to write) with her friend, a social worker (my mom was a school nurse and she worked with the said social worker). \n\nI lived in fear that he wouldn't live to see 18. \n\n8/x
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649270157
But eventually, Beutler's family was able to take the boy in, which became a turning point in his life.
But he did! He turned 18 and he came and lived with us. \n\nHis parents only allowed him to keep the clothes on his back. They came to our house and called him every name under the sun and my mom stood outside and said "you can't hurt him anymore, I will not allow it"\n\n9/x
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649270158
I remember his excitement after his first date with another boy. \n\nI remember how excited he was to be able to dress the way he wanted.\n\nI remember how he came into my bedroom EVERY MORNING WITHOUT KNOCKING to ask me if he looked good in his outfits. \n\n11/x
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649270158
The boy Beutler now calls "my brother and my best friend" went on to attend an Ivy League school and become an immunologist who is working to cure cancer—a life path he almost assuredly would not have found in his homophobic home. 
But this is more than just a happy ending. 
As Beutler went on to say, there are scores of LGBTQ+ children, especially trans children, who are being terrorized by legislation like Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill and the others being pushed by Republicans across the United States.
There is a LOT of anti-queer legislation being passed at the state level right now. \n\nFIGHT IT. \n\nQueer kids need to feel safe. They deserve to feel safe. \n\nDO SOMETHING. \n\n14/x
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649270159
The Florida bill effectively bans any mention of gender or sexuality in public schools by banning "discussion" and "instruction" of those topics that are not "age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate." 
But the bill does not define what constitutes "discussion" or "instruction," nor does it define what is appropriate.
And since the law empowers parents to sue for anything they perceive as a violation of the law, critics have argued that it even opens schoolchildren up to lawsuits should they mention their same-sex parents, for example. 
In essence, the only way to be sure to avoid being sued is to "don't say gay," hence the bill's nickname.
The law also requires that school faculty out LGBTQ students to their parents--a situation that could be traumatizing or even deadly, as Beutler's story illustrates. 
Several laws mimicking Florida's have already sprung up and been passed in states all over the country, including an Alabama law that criminalizes transgender healthcare and punishes doctors with jail time for providing it.
In short, the bills are an all-out assault on LGBTQ students, faculty and allies--and right-wingers have routinely smeared anyone criticizing the legislation as "pedophiles" or "groomers."
Underlining these dangers, Beutler closed her thread with praise for her parents and a call to action.
I would also be remiss to not mention my Dad\u2019s rocksteady support of my bff. \n\nMy Dad is an engineer\u2019s engineer and can be a bit rough around the edges but has a heart of gold. \n\nHe fully supported all of this. He also played bass and my friend played guitar and they would jam.
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649287622
Okay so this is going mini viral.\n\nOther actions to take\n\nDonate to: @TrevorProject @LALGBTCenter @AliForneyCenter @TransEquality @sageusa @PointFoundation @HRC \n\nAlso engage in mutual aid, but donating locally and directly to those who need it. \n\nAnd again, be the safe adult.
 — Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler)
        1649344118
She wrote:
"Be a safe adult.""Be rock steady for the LGBTQIA+ folks in your life."
"Show up...""Vote.""Call."People on Twitter were deeply moved by Beutler's thread.
Thanks for writing this.  What a great mother you have!
 — Barbara Hershey (@Barbara Hershey)
        1649396681
Love this so much
 — Doug Strassler (@Doug Strassler)
        1649377825
This thread is everything.  #SayGayhttps://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
 — KCazares (@KCazares)
        1649399783

To those supporting this crap, how would a first grade teacher explain to a kid that they cant draw a picture of their family but all the other kids can?
 — Luke\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Luke\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6)
        1649377924

Read this thread. Protect kids. All kids. Always. It\u2019s that easy. Every single human deserves safety and dignity. It\u2019s not political. It\u2019s so much bigger and yet simpler than that. Love first.https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
 — Russell-Ice \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udc9b (@Russell-Ice \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udc9b)
        1649412014

This thread. https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
 — PoliticsGirl (@PoliticsGirl)
        1649397312

I have LQBTQ+ family.\n\nDepending on where you live, you may think this issue is resolved, and that gay people are "fine" now. \n\nRight now, in 2022 America, right-wing politicians are passing anti-gay legislation intended to harm people. \n\nWe must fight and stop them.https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
 — Brendan Thorne (@Brendan Thorne)
        1649707682

I have one of these rejected queer kids living in my house right now. Their \u201cparents\u201d told them when they came to live with us that we wouldn\u2019t help them because there aren\u2019t people in the world who would truly love and accept them. 3 years later, we love you Tobi!https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
 — Prairietara (@Prairietara)
        1649341177

A really important and beautiful storyhttps://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
 — Shannon Scott-Vernaglia, MD (@Shannon Scott-Vernaglia, MD)
        1649418809

I didn't figure out I was queer until my late 20s & I didn't let myself express that queerness until my early 30s.\n\nGrowing up Evangelical stunted a lot of things about my self-discovery. I know that my parents would have been some flavor similar to this boy's parents.\n\n1/5https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
 — Kit for Ukraine \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6\ud83c\udf3b (she/her) (@Kit for Ukraine \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6\ud83c\udf3b (she/her))
        1649440799
More than a dozen states have proposed or passed bills similar to the "Don't Say Gay" legislation since Republican Florida Ron DeSantis signed it into law two weeks ago.
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Many have been left outraged and terrified by the onset of Florida's Republican sponsored so-called "Don't Say Gay" legislation and the other homophobic and transphobic GOP bills springing up around the country.

But as the right-wing continues to obfuscate the true intent of the bills, even going so far as to falsely claim they're aimed at protecting children from abuse and pedophilia, others argue the controversy is overblown.

Amid all this debate, one woman's deeply personal Twitter thread has gone viral for the way it powerfully underlines the potential impacts of the bills.

In the lengthy thread, Twitter user Rhian Beutler, who goes by @rhiankatie on the app, posted a personal story involving an LGBTQ+ classmate from her high school days that illustrates the very real reasons we "can't stop saying gay" as the right continues its assault on LGBTQ+ people.

You can see her posts here:

Why we can't stop saying gay, a story\n\nOn the first day of my senior year of high school, a new boy showed up in my AP English class. \n\nHe had transferred from a prestigious private school to my public school, and I was confused. \n\nI asked him why he moved and he shrugged \n\n1/x
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649270156

In her thread, Beutler told the story of a a new boy who joined her class in high school whom she decided to befriend.

As they became close, she asked him if he was gay, but the answer she received was anything but what she expected.

She soon found out the reason the boy had joined her class was because his parents had found out he was gay and forced him to change schools and that was the least of their retributions.

As Beutler put it:

"He said he was scared to go home every day."

I asked him "is that why you are at our school?" and he said yes and then proceeded to tell me his parents had found out he was gay, pulled him from the school, called him horrible names, abused him, and that he was MISERABLE. \n\nHe said he was scared to go home every day. \n\n6/x
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649270157

The boy told Beutler of the abuse he suffered at the hands of his homophobic parents for being gay.

My Mom also shared his writings (he loved to write) with her friend, a social worker (my mom was a school nurse and she worked with the said social worker). \n\nI lived in fear that he wouldn't live to see 18. \n\n8/x
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649270157

But eventually, Beutler's family was able to take the boy in, which became a turning point in his life.

But he did! He turned 18 and he came and lived with us. \n\nHis parents only allowed him to keep the clothes on his back. They came to our house and called him every name under the sun and my mom stood outside and said "you can't hurt him anymore, I will not allow it"\n\n9/x
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649270158

I remember his excitement after his first date with another boy. \n\nI remember how excited he was to be able to dress the way he wanted.\n\nI remember how he came into my bedroom EVERY MORNING WITHOUT KNOCKING to ask me if he looked good in his outfits. \n\n11/x
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649270158

The boy Beutler now calls "my brother and my best friend" went on to attend an Ivy League school and become an immunologist who is working to cure cancer—a life path he almost assuredly would not have found in his homophobic home.

But this is more than just a happy ending.

As Beutler went on to say, there are scores of LGBTQ+ children, especially trans children, who are being terrorized by legislation like Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill and the others being pushed by Republicans across the United States.

There is a LOT of anti-queer legislation being passed at the state level right now. \n\nFIGHT IT. \n\nQueer kids need to feel safe. They deserve to feel safe. \n\nDO SOMETHING. \n\n14/x
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649270159

The Florida bill effectively bans any mention of gender or sexuality in public schools by banning "discussion" and "instruction" of those topics that are not "age-appropriate or developmentally appropriate."

But the bill does not define what constitutes "discussion" or "instruction," nor does it define what is appropriate.

And since the law empowers parents to sue for anything they perceive as a violation of the law, critics have argued that it even opens schoolchildren up to lawsuits should they mention their same-sex parents, for example.

In essence, the only way to be sure to avoid being sued is to "don't say gay," hence the bill's nickname.

The law also requires that school faculty out LGBTQ students to their parents--a situation that could be traumatizing or even deadly, as Beutler's story illustrates.

Several laws mimicking Florida's have already sprung up and been passed in states all over the country, including an Alabama law that criminalizes transgender healthcare and punishes doctors with jail time for providing it.

In short, the bills are an all-out assault on LGBTQ students, faculty and allies--and right-wingers have routinely smeared anyone criticizing the legislation as "pedophiles" or "groomers."

Underlining these dangers, Beutler closed her thread with praise for her parents and a call to action.

I would also be remiss to not mention my Dad\u2019s rocksteady support of my bff. \n\nMy Dad is an engineer\u2019s engineer and can be a bit rough around the edges but has a heart of gold. \n\nHe fully supported all of this. He also played bass and my friend played guitar and they would jam.
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649287622

Okay so this is going mini viral.\n\nOther actions to take\n\nDonate to: @TrevorProject @LALGBTCenter @AliForneyCenter @TransEquality @sageusa @PointFoundation @HRC \n\nAlso engage in mutual aid, but donating locally and directly to those who need it. \n\nAnd again, be the safe adult.
— Rhian Beutler (@Rhian Beutler) 1649344118

She wrote:

"Be a safe adult."

"Be rock steady for the LGBTQIA+ folks in your life."

"Show up..."

"Vote."

"Call."

People on Twitter were deeply moved by Beutler's thread.

Thanks for writing this. What a great mother you have!
— Barbara Hershey (@Barbara Hershey) 1649396681

Love this so much
— Doug Strassler (@Doug Strassler) 1649377825

This thread is everything. #SayGayhttps://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
— KCazares (@KCazares) 1649399783

To those supporting this crap, how would a first grade teacher explain to a kid that they cant draw a picture of their family but all the other kids can?
— Luke\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6 (@Luke\ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6) 1649377924

Read this thread. Protect kids. All kids. Always. It\u2019s that easy. Every single human deserves safety and dignity. It\u2019s not political. It\u2019s so much bigger and yet simpler than that. Love first.https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
— Russell-Ice \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udc9b (@Russell-Ice \u2600\ufe0f\ud83d\udc9b) 1649412014

This thread. https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
— PoliticsGirl (@PoliticsGirl) 1649397312

I have LQBTQ+ family.\n\nDepending on where you live, you may think this issue is resolved, and that gay people are "fine" now. \n\nRight now, in 2022 America, right-wing politicians are passing anti-gay legislation intended to harm people. \n\nWe must fight and stop them.https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
— Brendan Thorne (@Brendan Thorne) 1649707682

I have one of these rejected queer kids living in my house right now. Their \u201cparents\u201d told them when they came to live with us that we wouldn\u2019t help them because there aren\u2019t people in the world who would truly love and accept them. 3 years later, we love you Tobi!https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
— Prairietara (@Prairietara) 1649341177

A really important and beautiful storyhttps://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
— Shannon Scott-Vernaglia, MD (@Shannon Scott-Vernaglia, MD) 1649418809

I didn't figure out I was queer until my late 20s & I didn't let myself express that queerness until my early 30s.\n\nGrowing up Evangelical stunted a lot of things about my self-discovery. I know that my parents would have been some flavor similar to this boy's parents.\n\n1/5https://twitter.com/rhiankatie/status/1511774723335618562\u00a0\u2026
— Kit for Ukraine \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6\ud83c\udf3b (she/her) (@Kit for Ukraine \ud83c\uddfa\ud83c\udde6\ud83c\udf3b (she/her)) 1649440799

More than a dozen states have proposed or passed bills similar to the "Don't Say Gay" legislation since Republican Florida Ron DeSantis signed it into law two weeks ago.

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