People Divulge The Biggest Lies They've Ever Told

Everyone at one point or another has fibbed.

Although it has a negative connotation, lying doesn't always stem from malicious intent.

People hide the truth as a protective measure, to spare something from a harsh reality they don't necessarily have to be aware of.

Still, telling a lie can harbor deep regret.

This was something that was explored when Redditor Critical_Bat22942294 asked:

"What is the biggest lie you've ever told?"

Love makes us do weird things.

Two Balls, One Strike

"One time, as an offhand joke, I told a girl that I was talking to that I lost one of my testicles as a young boy. Mind you, I’m not making light of anybody’s situation, I just said it because I thought it would be funny and I was a dumb 16 year old. She was incredibly sympathetic to me and I went a long with it for the day."

"Then, the next day, I forgot about it. I never cleared it up and confessed it was just a joke. So time passes by, we didn’t work out, we drifted apart as friends, stopped seeing each other around, blah blah blah. "

"Then, I bump into her one day and we start talking. The stupid teenage brains that ruined our shot at a relationship had matured and so we decided that we could try the whole thing again. To my delight, it went well. REALLY well."

"We went in several dates, took it slow, and eventually became a real relationship. Then one night, things got steamy and I won’t go into too much detail, but when she unwrapped the package she looked utterly shocked. Two balls."

"Now I have to say, at first, my ego was through the roof because no woman had ever gazed at me with such awe and shock in my life, and it kind of made me feel like a god. Like an idiot, I tried dirty talking in response to it, at which point she said very loudly: 'They grow BACK!?' ”

"Naturally, I had no recollection of the dumb joke I told over a decade ago, and my mind was racing trying to decipher the somewhat cryptic exclamation. Meanwhile, she grabbed the grapes and started inspecting them with an intensity that I’d never seen anybody treat a pair of balls with. Finally, I asked what the issue was and she told me."

"I felt like a real monster. I felt like I’d lied to this girl for over a decade, despite the fact that I only said it one time and forgot about it as a joke. She said she never brought it up after that because I 'seemed like it was a sore subject.' "

"In a way, I found it really endearing that she remembered something so stupid for so long about me. Made me feel heard."

– StrikingWind12

Effective Ruse

"I once told my friends I had a girlfriend when I didn’t just to avoid them trying to set me up on awkward dates."

– eher1045

"She's in Canada - you wouldn't know her."

– GruntUltra

"Hahaha this one always gets me laughing because up here in Canada, the boys would always say, well she's in the States - you wouldn't know her."

– wediealone

These Redditors lied in order to achieve something, and they weren't always successful.

Balancing Act

"This one is big not in terms of impact but just in how widespread it was. For years, in school and beyond, when I was asked to 'share an interesting fact about myself' in an icebreaker, I lied and said I could ride a unicycle."

"The first time I did it, I was blanking, and the girl who spoke before me had said she could juggle. So I just went with another circus talent and stuck with it."

"It turned out to be a handy lie, since no one ever had a unicycle on hand to prove me wrong. I almost got caught once, when someone remembered I'd said that during a house party, and pulled an old unicycle out of their garage. But luckily for me, it hadn't been used in years and the tire was flat."

"Eventually, I realized that the lie had, itself, become an interesting fact about me, and so now when asked for an interesting fact, I tell this story."

– OracleOfPlenty

Looking Smart

"When I was a kid, I told my parents I needed glasses because I thought they made people look smart. I went through a whole eye exam pretending I couldn’t see anything just to get a pair. Spoiler: they figured it out when I started reading street signs from the back seat on the way home."

– Princess-tights

The Obstacle

"I have read the terms and agreements."

– Ok-Mail-4367

"Back in the days of shareware distribution on software company decided give 1000$ to anyone that read the EULA. It took 7 years before anyone noticed the free money sitting right there in the open. PC pitstop."

"We are all signing contracts that no one could possibly read all of them. At this point I feel if you put out contracts that 99.999% of customers do no read they are all invalid."

– Cynykl

The Etching

"Once my brother locked me out of our house when we were kids. Our back door had a plexiglass window. I scratched '(brothers name) is a loser' in it."

"My mom came home later, saw it, and flipped sh*t. I blamed it on a neighbor my brother was friends with, she banned him from coming to our house. I'd feel worse about it, but the friend was even more of a pr(ck than my brother was (at that age, we're cool now)."

"I came clean a few years ago, like 30 years after it happened."

"Not that big, I suppose. Never liked lying, generally."

– pfroo40

Sometimes, the truth is just too painful to bear.

Death In The Family

"My niece died of a brain tumor earlier this year. She was four and we were very, very close. She was best friends with my daughter, who was a year older. I was holding niece's hand when she passed."

"When I got home that night, I wasn't ready to tell my daughter yet (I did so the next morning), and she hugged me and asked if I was okay. I knew if I cracked even a little bit I'd break down so I hugged her back and said 'yes.' Never felt more like a liar than I did in that moment."

– MyDesign630

"You were okay for her sake. Please don't beat yourself up over this. You could not shoulder her grief on top of your own in that moment. You gave her one more night of peace. And you gave her better help with her emotions by waiting until the next day."

"You are so strong and you should not feel guilty for giving her the gift of one last night without grief. I'm so sorry for your loss. 🩶🩶🩶"

– JellyfishApart5518

Saying Goodbye To Grandma

"I told my mother that it was okay that I was alone with my grandmother when she died. In truth, it hurt a lot more to watch her die than I imagined. I held her hand and looked into her eyes when she passed, and that look on her face is seared into my brain."

– Extreme-Web2273

Other times, Redditors randomly fabricated something about themselves, just because.

Language Barrier

"I convinced my friends I could speak fluent French. Thank God they never asked me to prove it."

– JennOutlaw

"Reminds me of a friend in school that told me he was fluent in German. I asked him to say something in German and he said, 'sprechen sie Deutsch?' I asked him what it meant and he said, 'do you speak Dutch?' "

"I did not tell him my grandmother taught me (some) German, but I still chuckle a bit at the fact he didn't know Deutsch is the German word for German."

– NDSU

Lesson Learned

"When I was in 7th grade my friend dared me to carve my name in the stone base of the flagpole in front of the school. The principal called me into his office the next day and asked me why I defaced school property."

"I convinced him that I couldn’t possibly be stupid enough to carve my own name on school property and that it was obviously someone trying to set me up. I had always been a pretty well-behaved kid, so the principal bought it."

"That’s when I learned that you need to save your lies for when you really need it."

– elevencharles

The examples shown above demonstrate that the biggest lies were told when Redditors were much younger when the consequences didn't seem to be unbearable.

The older we get, the more our motives for lying stem from lessening one's anxiety or distress. It's harmful, but it doesn't mean they stay with us for a long time.

What lies have you told that you're likely never to forget?