Few things can ruin your day as quickly as getting pulled over by a police officer.
Okay, okay... you might have been speeding this time, so you may as well suck it up.
But suppose you could just say what you want without repercussions? The responses are rather hilarious, as we learned once Redditor quoshakop asked the online community, "What is the best response when a cop says, 'Do you know why I pulled you over'?"
"Got pulled over..."
GiphyGot pulled over once for no apparent reason. Officer says he clocked me doing 70 in a 55. I had cruise control on at 59 and both my car and Google maps told me I was under 60. I gave him such an, "are you fucking stupid?" look. I'm not sure how it would have escalated, but at that exact moment my phone started screeching at me about an Amber Alert with a vehicle description similar to what I was driving. Things got cleared up pretty fast after that.
"In college..."
In college one of my friends was Swiss-American. He had both an American and a Swiss drivers license. When pulled over for speeding, he would hand over the Swiss drivers license (which was a folded document the size of a high school diploma) and started with: "Was ist los, offizier?" ("What is wrong, officer?). Passengers were instructed to keep their mouth shut and smile like they didn't comprehend anything.
100% effective. One cop just muttered "I wouldn't even know how to fill out the paperwork."
"One of my younger brothers..."
One of my younger brothers is French-American and he has also managed to get rid of an American cop by simply speaking in French the entire time. When he speaks French he doesn't sound like an American speaking French, he sounds like a French person.
And he's also a total Californian Valley boy....
"This should..."
"This should clear up our little misunderstanding," as I hand them my get out of jail free card from my wallet.
"I'm not sure..."
I'm not sure what should be said specifically, but a good rule of thumb is that the seriousness of your response should be directly proportional to the amount of drugs in your vehicle.
"YouTube..."
YouTube taught me to shout "AM I BEING DETAINED?" and to inform the officer that I'm not driving, I'm traveling.
"I once got pulled over..."
I once got pulled over for speeding behind a cop. I told him that I noticed I was behind a police officer and assumed we were traveling at a safe speed. He said "It's on me this time," and I didn't get a ticket.
"I'm 25 now..."
So this story is about my mom when she was pregnant with me.
At 8 months pregnant, my mom has been suffering almost constant migraines that make her so nauseous. She gets permission to leave work early one day because she's been throwing up. My poor sick mother said "F the speed limit!" And took off home. A Maryland state trooper pulls my mother over for going 55 in a 35. He comes up to her window and she rolls it down and says "Officer I know I'm speeding I live just down there, I'm going to throw up, please let me puke at my house." The officer starts getting super upset at my mom, and asks for her license and registration. My mom opens her door and pukes on his shoes. She gets a ticket, and has to go to court.
In court, the officer also wants my mom to replace his shoes. The judge goes "You saw a woman that pregnant who said she was nauseous, and still insisted on stopping her? You're such an @ss." And dismisses the ticket.
I'm 25 now and it's my mom's favorite story about her pregnancy with me.
"My infant son..."
My infant son went with me to work until he was four months old. My husband would come pick him up when he got off work. Our son really didn't like being separated from me, and really didn't like my husband.
They were driving home one day, our son is screaming in the back seat. My husband was making a right turn on red, didn't make a complete stop, and was pulled over. He rolled down the window as the cop was walking up. The cop took one look in the back seat (I think to make sure our son wasn't being murdered) and just waved my husband off.
