We've all heard the phrase, "to each their own," and one place this concept really applies is in relationships, what the couple's goals are, what they like to do, and what they dream of doing as a profession.
They also know what they don't want, including which careers would ultimately be a deal breaker if their partner were to suddenly start working in that profession.
Redditor abigbearofaman asked:
"Women of Reddit, what job would a man have that would be an automatic deal breaker for you?"
A Surgeon
"A surgeon. A lot of the times they're on the clock 24 hours per day, seven days per week, and that's just too much to handle."
- Terugtrekking
"I dumped a surgeon this year. He was a nice guy. But our plans were always canceled. My last straw was when we had a late-night date, we had sex at his place, then he immediately got up and started to get dressed."
"He was working in 30 minutes and he hadn't told me. Just f**k and run. It was the first (and only) time we had sex without condoms, too."
"I went home and ended things the next day. I realized I didn't want to live that way."
- ferretunderpressure
Chefs and Bartenders
"I’m a chef and I get it 100%."
"It takes a special person to be able to put up with the amount of time I’m not around. The group I work for is opening a new restaurant where I’m an owner, and that really ratcheted up the workload. It’s all in hopes of a better life on the other side in a few years."
"I make fantastic money for what I do, but it’s all about what will be and not what is at the moment."
"I do love my job and the people I’m around every day really add to my gratification. My now business partners are all successful industry people who are awesome to talk to about making it and that light at the end of the tunnel. They genuinely want everyone to be happy and successful and pay their employees fairly which is a rarity in this industry."
"However, the grind is real. I pray to be successful to allow myself a life I never thought I could have, and I’m more than halfway there."
"A side note would be that I am also the only chef in my group that is sober and actively takes care of themself and works out. Most I know allow alcohol to consume them and get stuck in this cycle of abuse and anxiety. It’s not an easy profession and it is less conducive than most careers when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle."
- sasquatchington
"I'm glad to see Chef on the list. You can add Bartender to that list, as well."
- hopelesscaribou
"I have to semi-disagree on the chef. Don't date a WORKING chef. He's going to be in a s**tty mood after cooking all day for other people, and you'll either be cooking yourself or ordering out a lot because he damn sure won't want to cook at home."
"HOWEVER, I married a FORMER chef, as in he hasn't worked in a restaurant in years, and he does all the cooking in the house because he wants to,"
- personal-tourist3064
Truck Drivers
"Ladies, find yourself a Truck Driver. We make the best partner. You miss us, we come back, we start to annoy you when we are home, and we leave again."
- CasperH38
"I don't know, man... the amount of truck drivers I see on Grindr that are just passing through makes me skeptical."
- sicilian504
"I can’t be away from my partner for too long."
- FyouPerrythePlatypus
An Active Soldier
"An army soldier who is active on the ground or could be deployed any time."
"I’d be terrified of losing the man I love to the horror of war. I’d rather be alone. It is his decision to give up his life or sanity for war, but I just can’t be a partner and potential caregiver to someone like that."
"I already lost a happy childhood. I can’t sacrifice anymore."
- deadbydurp
First Responders
"First responders (particularly police officers). That’s a boatload of trauma I’m not prepared to deal with (having dated someone with really bad PTSD on top of my own trauma, it really made things worse for my mental health)."
"Every time I’ve matched with one of them on Tinder, the following conversation gave me weird as f**k vibes."
"It takes a certain type of person to be a partner for someone in those professions, and that's not me."
- spicyychorizoo
Lawyers
"I’m a lawyer, and I’ve told my sister to avoid lawyers. Yes, people might hate lawyers, but so do we."
- wynnduffyskiingg
Social Media Influencers
"Man who likes men here but: SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER."
- A_Mirabeau_709
"Dating an influencer makes you a cameraman."
- ThinkPan
"I think I wouldn't mind handling the camera or the technical side of streaming and lighting. But I still don't think I'd want to spend that much time with an influencer."
- FuzzyLogic0
"I went on ONE date with one. Never again. She documented the entire date and her personality while on camera was different than on so it was like being on a date with two people at the same time."
- imanon33
Specifically TikTok Influencers
"TikToker. They are just so incredibly NPC (Non-Player Characters)."
- unchillhill
"I matched with one on Tinder once. He was a huge a**hole, and when I turned down his offer to hook up, he said, 'Do you know who I am?!' and went on this huge spiel about how famous he was."
- spazthejam43
Circus Performers
"Circus performers."
"No real juicy story here. We just had super different lives and almost no common points of reference. He dropped out of high school to join the circus (yes, really) and I went to college, grad school, then worked at universities so he had basically no understanding of what my life was like."
"He also had some weird habits and fixations, he took on new hobbies not because he was genuinely interested but because he thought they made him interesting. Very much a drive to get attention. He viewed all animals as tools rather than pets and had a real disdain for horses after working with them."
"He was nearly 30 when we met and was living in an apartment for the first time ever because he'd been on the road for his entire adulthood. We just had extremely different lives and it was novel at first but then it wasn't."
- nutellatime
Real Estate Agent
"Real Estate agent. Never again."
- ___Wasabi___
"I worked in sales for a number of years, and the number of ultra-competitive d-bags it attracts is unreal. I've always wondered if real estate isn't similar. Based on the presentation of some realtors, it looks worse, way, way worse."
- thecwestions
"As a guy who dated a woman realtor. Yep, never again. In sales, you have to get used to white lies. That permeates into the relationship. Also, if they are dedicated to their job. That means they are never off."
"You want a nice dinner with them but a lead call comes in. Guess what's happening. Yep, they are taking the lead call. You end up playing second fiddle to their job."
- pawsa
Someone Famous
"Personally, I wouldn't want to date anyone famous. Especially if they're someone who gets swarmed by fans."
- Oscars_Grouch
"Anyone famous or public facing (actor, politician) because no matter how much you try to keep yourself private, you will be talked about in media. There are a few celebrity couples who have been pretty successful at drawing those lines (Dolly Parton and Carl Dean) but even the strongest lines are blurry to some degree."
- tah4349
Life Coach
"A life coach."
- dylanjreid79
"Never again. I dated a former life coach and he'd say the most mundane s**t (or insights I'd already had, but phrased differently) and expect me to shower him with thanks and praise."
"By the time I left, he was trying to start an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing). Glad to be out of that one."
"It was rare for me to thank him when he exhibited this behavior. At one point, I remember looking at him silently after he said something obvious and he said, 'YOU'RE WELCOME.' Or he'd talk about how people go through their whole lives without knowing the earth-shattering (not) things he was telling me."
"I typically wasn't looking for advice anyway, but he just couldn't let go of thinking he had the (overly simplified) solutions to everyone's problems."
- llama_in_galoshes
Scammy Sales
"Tradeshow sales, drop shipping. My friend does this and I've worked with him before. Everyone is on something, everyone spends the day lying, and no one minds scamming people. Your coworkers are always stealing and sleeping around. It's all so scummy."
"I would be fine dating someone who created their product, sold handmade goods or food. I would be fine with someone who was part of the entertainment at fairs, but not someone in the drop shipping side."
- Scarred5
Religious Roles
"Something religious. I'm an atheist, happy to be one, and have no interest in becoming an ex-atheist."
- gilded_lady
"I'm an Atheist, and I was once casually seeing a religious guy who eventually told me that it was his 'mission from god' to bring me back to the church."
"That was the last night we ever spoke."
- WhoGotSnacks
No Job At All
"A lack of a job and zero desire to get one is a deal breaker for me."
"He could be 10/10 smoking hot but if he refuses to work and just sits on his a** all day playing video games and drinking, I’m out. A guy doesn’t have to make $60 an hour, but I’m in my 30’s. I need someone who has a job and is financially responsible. I’m not looking to be anyone’s sugar momma."
"I’m not talking about disabled people (legitimate reason to not work), people trying to find a job (I think we can all relate), or successful video game streamers. I’m talking about able-bodied guys who can work but refuse to even get even a part-time job out of pure laziness."
"I dated a guy like this once. We shared an apartment. I was working two jobs at the time, while he worked part-time but would call in for the stupidest reasons. 'I’m too tired.' 'My car won’t make it through the snow' (when there was 0.1' of snow on the ground)."
"He didn’t contribute, didn’t try to better himself, and he was content being a lazy sack of s**t. I left him. Now I’m doing great and he still depends on others to pay all his bills and expenses."
- draytonSawyersBBQ
It's pretty clear why most of these are on the list after the Redditors explained their reasoning. A common occurrence is thinking a job sounds impressive, like being a Surgeon, without realizing what home life would be like with that person, leading ultimately to unhappiness.
