Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Divulge The Craziest Backhanded Compliments They've Ever Received

two girls on black background
Obie Fernandez on Unsplash

Reddit user lameguy13 asked: 'What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?'

As a BIPOC autistic woman, my life has been filled with qualified compliments.

"You're really _____, for a _____."
"You're the ____est ____ I know."

And since I've reached 50 and the gray hair is starting to show, there's now the added qualifier of "for your age."


"You're really _____ for your age."

Qualified compliments are a form of backhanded compliment.

How so? If they think I'm smart or entertaining or funny or attractive, they should just say that without adding woman, Indigenous or a reference to my age.

I'm always told some variation of:

"You're the funniest woman I know."
"You're really smart for an Indigenous woman."
"I would never guess you're autistic—you're so normal!"
"You still look decent for your age."

Gee... thanks.

I always feel like responding:

"So how do I compare to normal people? Am I as funny as any of the men you know? Am I dumber than all other races or just some of them? It's called masking—I'm actually quite odd. Would I look horrible for 40?"

Backhanded compliments aren't uncommon. Most of us have experienced them.

Reddit user lameguy13 asked:

"What’s a backhanded compliment you’ve received in real life?"

What People Think

"Someone once told me, 'You're so lucky you don't care what people think about you'."

"I'm still not sure if that was a compliment or a subtle insult."

~ Neekol-USA

I Feel Pretty

"My junior prom date said this to his mom:"

"'I know she's not pretty like the other girls I date, but she's great and I really like her'."

~ champagneformyrealfr

Unless It's Cosmetology School

"'Your makeup doesn't look cakey today!' Thank you....?"

~ Nein______________

Their First Ex-Boyfriend

"My first boyfriend and I were wrestling one time and I pinned him and said, 'I win!' real flirty like."

"He pushed me off of him and said, 'yeah, only because you weigh a ton'."

~ GanethLey_art

Welcome To The Team

"When I applied for a new position within the company and was offered the job, my new boss told me I was the best out of what he had to choose from."

~ Pleasant-Physics-855

Cheers, Mom

"During my wedding reception, my mom made a speech where she congratulated me for finding my husband despite being 'weird and independent'."

"She did this in front of everyone at the wedding."

"People came up to me after asking if I was OK."

~ Not-From-Pakistan

How Charming

"'You’re pretty cool, you know that? Most girls in the Air Force are dogs, or bi*ches, but you’re somewhere in between'."

"I swear he was trying to get into my pants by saying I was nice AND attractive, but those words did not convey the message well."

"I just knew that regardless of what he was trying to say to me, that it was an unkind attitude toward everyone else."

~ mahjimoh

Lights Out

"I once had a girl I like mention something about it being dark."

"I said, 'It's okay, you look good in the dark'."

"I really liked her and was just being awkward, but she understandably got pretty upset."

~ Sudovoodoo80

Pretty For A ___

"My own mom when I went from 97 lbs at age 20 to about 130 lbs—which was way healthier—'your face is still pretty for a fat girl'."

~ InstantElla

Why Do They Think It's Called English?

"'Your grasp on our language is remarkable'."

"From an American to an Englishman without an English name—my name is Scottish."

"I'm not Scottish."

"I was born in England—as my many, many Scot relatives remind of at very regular intervals—but with a Scottish name to piss everyone off."

~ Wittgenstienwasright

Baby Got Back

"'You have a pretty face, too bad your butt is big'."

"My fiancé’s grandmother at their family gathering had no filter."

~ maybeCheri

When In Rome

"'Your nose is so... Roman-esque...'."

"It's massive and you know it."

~ ibiacmbyww

So Flattering

"'You're half Mexican? Honestly, I couldn't tell 'cause you're actually pretty!'."

~ ThatEllieGirl2011

So A Career In Drag?

"In high school this girl I had a crush on kept staring at me in class one day. She finally leaned over and said, 'You'd make a pretty girl'."

"I still don't know how to take that compliment."

"That being said, my wife and I had a daughter ~eight months ago."

"She looks just like me and she's beautiful. I guess she was right."

~ Vlaed

...For A Girl

"Literally ANY f*cking time I was good at ANYTHING as a kid, I was told 'you're so good at ______, for a girl'."

~ Latter_Schedule9510

Hopefully, you haven't been guilty of any of these.

So, what's the worst backhanded compliment you’ve received?

More from Trending

Screenshots of Justin Bieber being hounded by paparazzi
X17OnlineVideo

Fans Defend Justin Bieber After He Confronts Paparazzi For Constantly Hounding Him

Fans defended Justin Bieber after he berated the relentless paparazzi and accused them of only being concerned with turning a profit over valuing people's lives.

According to X17, the "Intentions" singer's retreat to Palm Springs, days before the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, was anything but relaxing as he clashed with the paparazzi for a third day in a row.

Keep ReadingShow less
RFK Jr.
Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

RFK Jr. Slammed After Claiming HHS Will Discover The Cause Of 'Autism Epidemic' By September

U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. declared that scientists would determine the cause of the "autism epidemic" by September, even though scientists haven't discovered a breakthrough despite decades of research.

In a cabinet meeting with Republican President Donald Trump on Thursday, RFK Jr. stated:

Keep ReadingShow less
J.D. Vance and Usha Vance listen to Susan Meyers during his Greenland visit
Jim Watson/Pool/AFP via Getty Images

Space Force Commander Fired Over Email Criticizing Vance's Greenland Comments

Vice President J.D. Vance and the wider Trump administration are facing criticism now that Colonel Susan Meyers was removed from her post as commander at Greenland's Pituffik Space Base after breaking with Vance in an email she wrote following his controversial visit to the island territory.

Greenland is an autonomous territory of the Kingdom of Denmark, alongside the Faroe Islands, the only other autonomous territory within the Kingdom. Citizens of both Greenland and the Faroe Islands are full citizens of Denmark. As one of the Overseas Countries and Territories of the European Union, Greenland’s citizens are also recognized as EU citizens.

Keep ReadingShow less
Karoline Leavitt and Scott Bessent
Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Karoline Leavitt Dragged After Making Mind-Numbing Claim About Trump's Tariffs Reversal

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt is getting called out after she attempted to justify President Donald Trump's sudden reversal on his proposed tariffs, telling reporters that his actions make sense because he has a master plan to make the world bend the knee.

Trump declared a full 90-day suspension of all the “reciprocal” tariffs that took effect at midnight April 10—except for those on China—in a dramatic about-face from a president who had long championed his historically high tariff rates as permanent.

Keep ReadingShow less
religion signs
Noah Holm on Unsplash

People Explain What Stopped Them From Going To Church Anymore

There's been a perception of a bit of an exodus from religion for the last several decades. But humanity has gone from no organized religions to oppressive religious regimes to rebellion and back again over the last several millennia.

But is the 21st century when religion finally fails to bounce back?

Keep ReadingShow less