People Break Down The Weirdest Things They Ever Caught Their Roommate Doing

At some point in our lives, many of us have been forced to undergo the roommate experience with either friends, classmates or relative strangers.

My first time living with someone outside my family came as a teen in high school when I participated in the residential summer program Upward Bound. We lived in the dorms of our local university for six weeks and were allowed to choose a friend as a roommate or have one assigned to us.

Kids sent to boarding schools can have their first roommate much earlier, with many schools having a minimum age of 7 to be enrolled and some even accepting 5-year-olds. But the majority of children begin boarding schools at age 11 for girls and 13 for boys.

For others, college or university is their first time with a roommate.

In the case of schooling or youth programs, a roommate is part of the institution's housing design. For adults outside of school, a roommate is usually a financial necessity.

While strangers do become roommates to share living expenses—especially in larger cities—it's more common for people to at least be acquaintances with their cohabitants. But just because you know someone doesn't mean you know them.

Reddit user EnchantedSophia asked:

"What's the weirdest thing you've caught your roommate doing when they thought no one was watching?"

When You’re Out Of Saltines

"My first college roommate came back from the bathroom with a huge roll of toilet paper. Walks to the mini-fridge, gets a can of spray cheese."

"He breaks off like 4 squares of TP at a time, folding into a single square. Then sprays cheese into the middle, folds it like a pierogi and eats it in a single bite."

"I really wish I was making this up. Dude was f*cking weird."

~ Fiendfuzz

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Stealth Move

"Caught a roommate trying to sneak all her stuff out one gym bag at a time in order to move out and not pay all the back rent she owed. Her mom ended up paying after we threatened a court filing."

"Her room—which we hadn't seen the inside of for a year—was the most disgusting sh*t I have ever seen in my life."

"It was like a Hoarders episode. All our missing dishes, cookware, and cutlery were found all over the room and under the bed with dried or moldy food."

"Trash everywhere. Moldy coffee cups. Stains of all sorts, on the walls and carpet—the original colors of both were impossible to discern."

"Her desk and bed—she left all her furniture—were so covered in garbage and filth you couldn't even tell there was a bed or desk underneath."

"She would also have guys she met online come over for hookups which is insane to me. If some girl invited me into a room like that, I would be out the door so f*cking fast."

~ paidjannie

Time To Invest In Headbands

"I woke up to find my room-mate at his drawing desk wearing boxer shorts on his head. I didn't broach the matter at first."

"But when the landlord was due to arrive shortly for the cheques, I put it to him at last 'Dave—you've got boxer shorts on your head'."

"To this day, I still remember him languidly turning around, boxer shorts and all, asking what I'd just said. When I repeated myself he suddenly went 'oh, sh*t, sh>t!' and tore them off his head, blushing."

"When I asked why he'd been wearing them in the first place, he said that since he'd started growing his hair out it had started to get into his eyes while he was drawing at his desk. Boxer shorts were the only thing he had to hand right then to solve the problem—elastic waistband made an effective headband."

"Dave could be a pain in the a** a lot of the time, but he had these moments that reminded me that, yes, he was human after all."

~ MagicSPA

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Surely, There Are Better Methods

"I left to go snowboarding. Got about 20 minutes down the road and realized I left my pass in my other jacket."

"Went back to my condo and my roommate was in front of the TV on the floor in just his boxers and a pair of goggles. He was using a Dremel tool to strip the paint off his bicycle."

"Paint flakes everywhere. I was like 'WTF‽‽'."

"He said 'gonna repaint my bike'. I don’t think he ever finished that project."

~ Parking_War_4100

Pumped

"I had a roommate when I was in my early 20s who got deep into a pyramid scheme. He was convinced that he was going to be a millionaire from it and he just needed to sell the sh*tty energy drinks and protein shakes etc... that the 'company' was having him buy in bulk."

"Anyways, one day I come home on break and he doesn't know I'm there. I hear talking coming from his bedroom."

"He is lifting weights in the mirror staring at himself basically shouting 'I AM NOT A LOSER, I WILL SELL THESE PRODUCTS, I WILL BE RICH, I WILL SUCCEED' and so forth. He was so in the zone that he did not see me standing there, and I never brought it up to him."

"He basically lost all his friends and money for years due to that stupid cult pyramid scheme. He eventually got out when the guy who brought him in started sleeping with his girlfriend. He's still kind of weird."

~ dusty_trendhawk

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Not Sure Roomie Would Have Been Flattered

"My freshman year of college, it was roommate's girlfriend, actually. I woke up at like 6am to her talking like she was talking to a cat or something."

"'Hey there little guy. What are you doing here?' and stuff like that, in a cutesy voice. She was one of those earthy hippie kind of girls, so I thought maybe there was a mouse in the dorm or something."

"Weird, but whatever."

"I'm up now, so I roll over to get up to go to the bathroom. She is under the covers, talking to my sleeping roommate's penis, 5 feet away from me."

~ jimtow28

Aren't Those The Ingredients In Frosting?

"Once saw a housemate stick his finger into the butter and swirl it around, then dip the butter-covered finger into a bag of sugar and eat it like an ice cream."

~ vegan_voorhees

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Kitty Elevator

"A friend of mine was renting the main floor of a two story house in college. There was an odd cat lady renting the upstairs floor who had a separate entrance."

"She must've had agoraphobia, because he never saw her leave her place. Her odd behavior was actually hilarious."

"She would lower her cat inside of a basket out of her window to the ground in the back yard. The cat would sniff around the yard, go to the bathroom, then get back into the basket and she would reel it back up to the second floor."

"None of us believed him till we saw it ourselves."

~ jojopetes451

Good Thing It Wasn't A Velociraptor

"I once walked in the house after work to find my now former roommate perched on the arm of the couch, screeching like a pterodactyl."

"He didn’t hear me come in so I hid in the kitchen and observed as he occasionally would hop from chair to chair, screeching."

"Eventually I couldn’t hold the laughter in."

~ redkid2000

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Not Hingle McCringleberry?

"It's me. I'm the roommate."

"I thought I was at the house by myself. That Key & Peele skit 'East vs West Bowl' had just come out and the names were hilariously catchy."

"Davoin Shower-Handel was stuck in my head, I couldn't get it out, and I just started shouting it out loudly again and again and again."

"That was until I heard my roommate burst out laughing in the living room. He had been quietly reading a book for like two hours."

"Thought I was alone... DAVOIN SHOWER-HANDEL!"

~ Pure-Pessimism

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Wheeeee! 👷

"A housemate had just gotten his harnesses from working at heights training—safety and gear training for mainly tradespeople such as window washers, tree trimmers or electricians required to work at heights where a fall would cause serious injury—so he was swinging back and forth out the back patio when I got home."

"He was having the best time."

"I laughed, grabbed some beers and gave him a few pushes."

~ wozanderer

Girlfriend 1, Roommate 0

"Hit on my girlfriend. He thought I was out having a smoke, but I decided to grab a drink first and heard him say, 'he’ll never know'."

"Luckily I also heard her say, 'yes, but I would, and I could not say I love him and do something like that to him'."

"She then tried to find me to tell me something. I played dumb, and got to hear her say that she doesn’t like my roommate, and that he had hit on her when I left."

"We started spending more time at her place after that."

~ thecountnotthesaint

Ah, Electrolytes

"Not a huge thing, but..."

"I got up in the middle of the night to take a leak, and I caught her at 3AM drinking the brine out of my jar of pickles."

~ Squigglepig52

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Was The Sink Not An Option?

"Straining a pot of boiled noodles just straight onto the kitchen floor and then sopping up the water with the hot pad."

"He was on crutches at the time. He was also a major idiot."

~ Cjyogi

Very A-meow-zing

"Pissing and sh*tting in a box, covering it up with this sort of sand-like stuff, then coming right back into the living room to stare out the window for like an hour."

~ 544075701

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I can relate to that last one.

What's your roommate story?