Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

TSA Agent Mistakenly Feels Up Woman Who He Thought Was A Teen Boy—But It All Works Out Bizarrely Well In The End

TSA Agent Mistakenly Feels Up Woman Who He Thought Was A Teen Boy—But It All Works Out Bizarrely Well In The End
Andy Cross/The Denver Post via Getty Images

A TSA worker making an innocent mistake reminds us that we should never make assumptions about people based on appearances.

Especially when it comes to gender.


A TSA employee accidentally patted down a woman after thinking the traveler was a teenage boy.

Lucky for him, the mortifying interaction wound up being a premise that is prime for a rom-com.

He wrote about his zany account on the "Today, I F****d Up" subreddit. where the community share experiences of doing "something ridiculously stupid."

The TSA employee prefaced his story by explaining the incident happened over a year ago.

"Obligatory this actually happened a little over a year ago, and throwaway because I don't want people on my main account to know what I do for a living."
"So, I work for the TSA, and have for a few years now. It's a good job overall. I'm underpaid, but the benefits are nice, and I get overtime when I want it."
"A little over a year ago, during the week leading up to Christmas, we had some really bad weather that delayed all the flights. I volunteered to stay late so that my coworkers could go home to their families."
"Most of the work was done anyway, so it was mostly just standing around waiting for the odd latecomer."

The misshap occurred while the security agent was screening a group of passengers he assumed was the teenage boy's family.

"I was working the AIT (the space tube thingy), when three passengers came up together, a middle-aged man, a middle-aged woman, and a teenage boy."
"I figure it's a family traveling together for the holidays, and go about my work."

Giphy


"Mom goes through, all is fine. Dad goes through, all is fine."
"Kid comes up, I get a good look at him. Hoodie, sweatpants, shortish hair, smooth face. I figure he's about 13, maybe 14."
"I hit the button, direct him to wait with me for a moment, and then gesture to the screen, which lit up on his chest area."

Giphy


"I tell him that I have to pat that area down. He's a little nervous, I figure that because he's so young, this is probably his first time getting a pat down, but he says okay, and I start the patdown."
"I do the left side of the chest, and feel some boob, which catches me off guard because he didn't look chubby at all."
"I move to the right side of the chest, read what's on the hoodie, and it all clicks at once. The hoodie has the name of the local college on it. This is an adult, not a child."


Giphy


"He's not wearing sweatpants, *she* is wearing yoga pants. She doesn't even know the couple that just came through."
"I look at her face, which is bright red, my hand is still on her boob, and I pull it back like I just got bit by a snake."
"I immediately call for my supervisor, who comes over and asks what's wrong, and I explain the situation to her."
"My supervisor covers her mouth, and at first I thought she was absolutely mortified, but then I realized she's trying not to laugh."
"She takes a minute to pull herself together, tells me to go take a break, and finishes screening the passenger herself."
"Once that was done, I apologize to the passenger, she tells me it's fine, that it wasn't the first time she was mistaken for a boy, and she probably should have said something before I started touching her."
"I leave her alone, and go talk to my supervisor to figure out exactly how fired I am."

Even though the passenger assured everything was fine, the supervisor had to talk the distressed agent off the proverbial ledge.

"She tells me to calm down, that it was just an honest mistake, and that she has my back if the passenger files an official complaint, but that probably won't happen, and I shouldn't be worried."
"That reassured me a little, but I still groped a woman and ruined Christmas, so I feel like an absolute monster."

That was not the last he saw of her.

"I swallow my shame, and finish my shift, then I go into the airport proper to find some food, because I just finished a twelve hour shift and there's no way I have the energy to cook dinner."
"I saw my hapless victim sitting at her gate, waiting for her flight. I went up to her to apologize again, and saw that the flight had been delayed until morning (it was about eleven at night)."
"I apologize again, she says it's fine, and I ask her if she's planning to stay the whole night. She says she has to, all the hotels in the area are book."
"I tell her that I'm getting some dinner, and offer to get her some food as well. After all, I already got to second base, I think it's only fair that I buy her dinner."
"She agrees, and we go to one of the restaurants that is open late, get some food, and start eating."
"She said she gets mistaken for a boy a lot, and it's not a big deal. I told her about how I had long hair and no beard in college, and at the gym people would frequently walk into the men's bathroom, see me, and do a double take to make sure they didn't walk into the ladies' room."
"She laughed, and we ended up talking for a few hours, before I finally told her that I had to get home, and apologized again for the accidental molestation."

And then, there was a plot twist.

"She said that all is forgiven, if I promise to take her on a real date when she gets back."


Giphy


"I agreed, she gave me her phone number, and I went home, and immediately started texting her. We kept talking until her flight finally left, and when she got back I picked her up at the airport, and a few days later took her on that date that I promised her."


Giphy

It all started with a pat down.

"We just celebrated our one year anniversary."
"She has long hair now."

TSA protocol dictates that an agent cannot pat down a member of the opposite sex, and the distinction between yoga pants or sweatpants on a traveler should never be a determining factor on how to proceed.

Also, according to the TSA website, pat downs on transgender and gender nonconforming travelers are "conducted by an officer of the same gender as you present yourself."

Fortunately, this employee's brush with potential disaster had a happy ending.

Redditors provided titles for this wacky story.

"I'm dating someone I thought was a young boy when we met." – takatori
"I'm boying someone I thought was a young date when we met." – justinkroegerlake
"You leave Mulan alone! I love that cartoon." – call_of_the_while

One commenter felt slighted.

"I've been inappropriately touched on my butt by, like, three different TSA guys on three separate trips through Denver, and not once has any of them offered to buy me dinner."
"Gotta be honest, I feel a little left out." – BrokenPaw

When you want something from your handsy stranger, just flash a smile.

"If they ever do make eye contact the appropriate thing to say is 'That's right.' And then give a smug grin." – XeroAnarian

Giphy

What is it about Denver?

"What is up with Denver airport? Last time I was there 3 of my friends and I were all pulled aside for "random" groin searches" – cake_pan_rs
"I mean, first rule of Denver: men = cargo shorts, women = yoga pants. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules." – maidrey

Just in case guys were planning on a grabbing spree in the hopes of scoring a date – don't.

"Just for the record people: Do not try this to pick up women!" – cornm

An incredulous user still found the anecdote amusing.

"Ok even if this isn't true I love it." – anomanissh

His story, regardless of its veracity, managed to deliver the feels.

More from Trending

Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost
Kevin Mazur/Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment

Colin Jost Hilariously Reacts To Wife Scarlett Johansson Becoming World's Highest-Grossing Actor

Scarlett Johansson has been acting professionally since she was 9 years old, with her film debut in North in 1994. Since then, she's appeared in movies that span practically every genre and garnered two Academy Award nominations.

With such a long and diverse resume, it's not completely surprising that, at age 40, Johansson just became the highest-grossing actor at the worldwide box office ever, with $14.9 billion of box office revenue for her 68 films.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Stevie Wonder
@RNB_Radar/X

Stevie Wonder Epically Shuts Down Rumor That He's Not Really Blind In Powerful Viral Clip

Legendary musician Stevie Wonder spoke out during a stop on his Love, Light & Song mini-tour to address rumors that he is not really blind, telling those in attendance that his blindness—which has been the case since shortly after birth—has also been a "blessing."

The long-standing rumor that Stevie Wonder can actually see has circulated for decades and even been echoed by fellow celebrities including singer Lionel Richie, who said in a 2019 interview that he's "been spending my whole life with him [Wonder] thinking he can see."

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Dr. Mehmet Oz
Fox News

Dr. Oz Slammed For Tone Deaf Health Advice For Americans On Medicaid And Medicare

Dr. Mehmet Oz—now the administrator for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services—was criticized after he offered Americans unsolicited health advice during a Fox News appearance, saying that Americans shouldn't "eat carrot cake" as millions face cuts to their government-funded health insurance.

The passage of President Donald Trump's "One Big Beautiful Bill" will cause 17 million people to lose valuable Medicare and Medicaid coverage. Under the bill, individuals earning just above the federal poverty line would be required to start paying out of pocket for certain Medicaid services, such as doctor visits and lab tests.

Keep ReadingShow less
A man and woman kissing with the woman's hat covering their faces.
woman in white hijab sitting on chair

The Biggest Lies People Told In Order To Sleep With Someone

When you meet someone you're attracted to, your first inclination is to try to impress them.

Sometimes, purely in hopes of getting them into bed.

Keep ReadingShow less
Adam Schiff; Donald Trump
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images; Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Adam Schiff Calls Out The Real Reason Trump Is Accusing Him Of 'Fraud'—And Yeah, That Tracks

California Democratic Senator Adam Schiff fired back at President Donald Trump after Trump accused Schiff of "possible mortgage fraud" in a Truth Social post—prompting Schiff to point out that Trump's attack is another attempt to take attention away from Trump's association with the late financier, pedophile, and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

Trump, without citing evidence, said Fannie Mae’s financial crimes division found that Schiff had a “sustained pattern of possible Mortgage Fraud" that involved misstating which home Schiff used as a primary residence, allowing him to secure a cheaper mortgage.

Keep ReadingShow less