Breaking up is hard to do no matter who initiated it.
But once time has passed and exes have moved on, the healing process can be jarred by a surprise.
A regretfilled person may try and make contact with the one they broke up with and ask for forgiveness, or the person who had their heart broken could also reappear and plead for a fresh new start.
The outcome depends on how much, or how little, the spark of love remains.
Curious to hear more of this scenario from strangers online, Redditor XenaVonKeksdose asked:
"What would you say to your ex if they suddenly showed up at your door?"
For these Redditors, it wouldn't be a happy reunion.
Either, Or
"It ranges from 'come on in and make yourself comfortable' to 'get the f'k out of here' , depending on which one shows up."
– Lone_Buck
"Odds of it being the one who got away: low."
"Odds of it being the one who took 5 years to understand what 'f'k off' meant: pretty high."
– liquid_acid-OG
It's A Nightmare
"Screaming. They've passed."
– BigGrayBeast
"Similar situation here. I did have a dream that my late wife showed up at my door. She said, 'There was a mix up at the coroner, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through.”'
"Still in the dream we talked for a bit about nothing. Then I said, 'Wait, what about the life insurance, do we have to pay it back?' And just after that I woke up."
– AnonEMoussie
No Thanks
"Nah"
"Slowly closes the door while maintaining eye contact."
"Also aggressively locks the door."
– SnooCats7666
"raises drawbridge."
– lunalives
Some would show traces of resentment.
Unwelcome
"The f'k do you want? And how did you get this address?"
– s73v3m4nn
"wtf ffs"
– zxr7
Too Little Too Late
"You couldn't put in effort in messaging me, but you have effort now to see me months after we break up‽"
– ShyTerraWolf
"Wait, if you’re here who’s running hell?”
– So__bored
"Who’s guarding HADES."
– Boostio_TV
Hit 'Em Where It Hurts
"I lost weight... You seem to have found it."
– elmo-1959
"now get the f'k off my lawn."
– starkresilient
"Savage."
– 20190229
Others shared less bitter responses.
Coming Clean
"Honestly, I apologize. I know dealing with my prior alcoholism must have been a nightmare. I regret causing you and anyone else pain and hope you are happy. I am a year into sobriety and can understand why it ended. I wish you well."
"Edit: Since this is getting so much traction, I just want to say thanks for all the support. This could honestly be directed at a few of my exes. I am happily married now to someone that also got a taste of my drinking. We stuck it out while I got sober and I have to credit her with being an amazing support system. I also need to shout out r/stopdrinking for providing reinforcement on a daily basis. It is a great community. Naltrexone was also a major part of it. I can't change the past but I think I have a much better hold on the future."
– vivazeta
Someone That I Used To Know
"I've been married for almost 25 years, I don't know if I would even recognize any exes."
– 4a4a
"Yep. That person went from 'ex' to 'someone I once dated' years ago."
– ktwhite42
Expressing Regrets
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you."
– warlordwinters
"Good on you for growing."
– Zealousideal_Ad_7465
Catching Up
"I’d say hello! What are you doing here? It has been a long time."
– ExaminationLucky6082
Wish You Well
"A lot of snarky or comical answers in here, but I'll try to be as sincere as I can."
"My first major ex, first time I got my heart broken: I would sincerely hope that she's doing well. She broke my heart, but it was for the best and it made me into the man I am today. I don't want to think of how much worse I would be if she hadn't given me a reality check wake-up-call. So really just 'Hey, how have you been? I hope the years have been kind to you.'"
"My most recent ex, the first and only time I've had to break someone's heart: I honestly just hope that she can forgive me for having to make taking care of myself and my needs the priority in my life. She's an amazing woman, kindergarten school teacher, unanimously adored by everyone that meets her. But we met via travels, and lived in two different states. Circumstances shifted and seeing each other became much less frequent. Neither of us wanted to quit our jobs and chuck a grenade into our lives and careers. Eventually, for my own mental and emotional health, I had to call it. I truly hope she finds someone amazing, she deserves it. So I would just sincerely hope that she understands, and has moved on."
– obaterista93
I once showed up at an exes door after I broke up with him about a month prior.
I genuinely loved and missed him after making the very difficult decision to end things due to conflicting circumstances that kept us from maintaining a healthy relationship.
But I quickly learned that if you did the breaking up, you should respect the other person's space for a respectable amount of time.
I went to visit him at the apartment where we lived together and a new lover answered the door for him after there was a long period of giggles and lots of feet shuffling from behind the door.
Clearly, he was doing just fine.
Of course, I wasn't welcomed in and was asked what I wanted, to which I had no answer but, "do you have any mail for me?"