Relationships are hard work. Friendships in particular can be some of the most rewarding connections you make in your life. They can also be the most painful. Some people aren't meant to be in your life all the time. I've been through it. You've likely been through it. And if you haven't yet, consider yourself lucky.
People told us their stories after Redditor RavensAreReally cool asked the online community,
"What made you stop being friends with someone?"
"My lifelong best friend..."
"My lifelong best friend was a wreck. She had some awful things happen to her when we were teens that negatively affected her already precarious mental health. I was there for her through thick and thin until we were 25, we were always together and I often stepped in to help care for her son when she would slip into spirals of abusing drugs and alcohol. After my dad's unexpected death (she was very close to him as her dad passed when we were kids) she spiraled worse than she had in a long time and I just didn't have the mental strength to be there for her like I usually was, I was just grieving so massively that it was taking everything I had to get out of bed in the morning.
I told her I needed to step away from her to get myself back in shape mentally and in retaliation she posted on Facebook that I was cheating on my then fiancé, now husband, with an ex. I wasn't and he knew I wasn't but the fact that she would try to end my relationship and humiliate me publicly when I was going through the hardest time of my life because I needed time to grieve and not deal with her massive addiction and mental health issues just showed me that after decades of friendship that she simply wasn't ever going to be able to be there for me the way I was ALWAYS there for her and that the smart sweet girl I had befriended as a kid was truly lost to her addictions and victimhood."
This is horrible, but I am glad you were able to move on. Sorry it happened.
"That was our last conversation."
"He pretty much told me that the reason we don't meet anymore is that he prefers his other friend. That was our last conversation."
Honestly I'd prefer this instead of finding out the hard way.
"She asked me..."
"She asked me to leave an apartment I was renting with her so her boyfriend could move in. I moved out but I never spoke to her again after that."
This actually happened to another friend of mine. How she was able to actually salvage her relationship with her friend I do not know.
"We talked about it..."
"She was emotionally exhausting. Every conversation we had was about her issues or problems. She assumed that, because (in her words) I had my sh*t more together than she did, I never needed the support of any kind. She also got angry at me every time I had something good happen in my life.
We talked about it so many times but nothing changed. Finally, I reached the point where I couldn't handle how much she was taking without giving back. One day she tried some crazy bit of emotional manipulation on me and I walked away. I miss the good times, but they weren't good enough (or plentiful enough) to make the rest of it worth it."
It truly sucks that some people can be emotional black holes.
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"I was always the one reaching out to them. I waited for them to reach out to me. Its been 2 years now..."
Been there! Not a fun feeling.
"I figured..."
"Started seeing how she'd talk crap about others when they weren't there but be friendly to their face. I figured she was doing the same with me."
And she probably was. Sad, isn't it?
"He wouldn't get help..."
"He wouldn't get help for his manic depressive disorder, and I couldn't handle the extreme episodes."
Manic depression (otherwise known as bipolar disorder) can be debilitating and hard on friends and family members of the person who lives with the illness. What's done is done. It's good you got out.
Friendship is a two-way street – a word to the wise.
Have you lost a best friend? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments below.
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