I drink too much. During a regular, friendly conversation I would never say that. But I can say it when it needs to be said. I hate it. I'm not a fall down, blackout drinker, but I drink everyday, because, why not. It is who I am now. I'm cognizant enough to celebrate the fact that I imbibe enough to function while I poison my body. Which is not a celebration. Ok. Your turn.
Redditor u/Doctor_Philly was wondering who wanted to discuss those traits and truths about the self we were all willing to discuss by asking..... What is a truth you don't like accepting about yourself?Don't Look at Me....
nervous friends GIFGiphyMy fear of being judged in a situation suppresses my genuine thoughts about things, and it can make me awkward, unfunny or seem like I'm trying way too hard. It's like all social interactions have some sort of performative aspect to them, and that thought is constantly broadcasted on some primal level of my consciousness.
It causes me to cringe at myself before I even do anything. This typically occurs when I'm around anyone I'm uncomfortable with, and if I do forget about it, and something suddenly happens to draw my attention back to the meta of a given social situation, the feeling tends to double down. I'm not even antisocial (which makes it worse because I genuinely like being around people), but it sabotages a large amount of interactions for me and makes it hard to make friends.
At 35...
November last year years of alcoholism finally caught up to me in the form of chronic liver failure. Originally i was given only a few days to live (i wasn't aware of this because i was in a coma so they informed my mother), with treatment that was extended to weeks and then somehow months.
My liver has managed with extensive treatment to heal to the point where i no longer look jaundice as hell but realistically i have about 7yrs max. Not a great thing to jump into your head first thing in the morning. Especially at 35. People always go on about a healthy heart but once your liver has had enough i all over red rover really quick... booze the socially acceptable legal drug.
Not for 13....
I graduated with my business degree last fall but have yet to leave my full time grocery store job because I'm good at it and it pays the bills.
I'm so afraid I'm going to suck at and fail any new job I get and then lose my stable source of income, so I just keep putting off applying. I've been using the pandemic as an excuse but in reality it's my anxiety about failure.
Meanwhile all my friends are making good money in "real" jobs while I'm still stuck as a wage slave making $13 an hour.
Crutches....
I don't treat my body well and I have a lot of crutches that will impact me later in life.
So enjoy it.
I'm not funny.
Well, as an individual who writes and performs comedy (screenplays, sketches etc) I can tell you that you are funny. Comedy is incredibly subjective. But what I've learned over the years working for tv and film is that you should write and stay with what you know. If you can laugh about it yourself, there will be people out there who will laugh about it too. And if you can't find them, who cares? You think it's funny right? So enjoy it. :)
finding structure....
Im lazy and have no discipline.
If I have no structure, I just don't get anything done. I've had jobs with little to no supervision along with being 100% commission. I always failed. But if I have a job that I have scheduled tasks that must be met, I crush it.
every single moment....
I am a very overbearing person. I don't trust many people, I don't even like many people, but the few I do like, I find it very difficult to not try and involve myself in E V E R Y part of their life, and get upset when they don't like that. I like to tell myself (and them) that it's because I care, and want the best for them, and for them to be happy, but I do understand how overbearing and annoying that can get.
Stay Calm....
breathe stressed out GIF by stellar247GiphyI can get emotional over stupid things. I try not to and I recognize it happening but feel out of control over it.
Recognition is the first step.....
I can naturally be mean if I don't think carefully before I speak.
The fact that you are aware of this makes you so much better than a lot of other people who will go around and be mean without even realizing what they're doing.
Recognition is the first step to improvement, and the fact that you're willing to improve makes you a better person. Go you!
The Average.....
Tired Maya Rudolph GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphyI am not special or more talented than anyone else, I am literally more or less average. I guess its not bad, I don't hate it, but doesn't mean i like it.
Oh Well....
I give up very easily. I used to be a great student in school not just with studies but everything else as well because I'm a fast learner. But that didn't teach me the value of hard work because everything came easy. And now, in everything I do, if I fail, I just give up.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who replied. I'm so glad I posted this because I have gotten some great advice here and the fact that I'm not alone makes me feel a little better. Thank you.
Also thanks for all the awards. They make me feel all fuzzy inside.
Oxford Daze....
I literally went into an law interview for freaking Oxford so cocky that I'd ace it that I'd never bothered at a legal document before because while I'd got bad grades before it never really affected my opportunities, at least in terms of where I wanted to go.
Suffice to say, I was immediately vibe checked, and while the second interview went better, I am not going to Oxford.
I am certainly working harder at Uni, I want a 1st and have learned my lesson.
No In Between.
You Got This Will Ferrell GIF by NETFLIXGiphyI either think too high of myself or not enough of myself, there is no in between.
I can relate to this. I would see a really stupid thing someone does and think "How are retards like this alive?" and then five minutes later, in a different context, I would say that "I am a waste of space and worthless."
Smarter than the average bear....
I'm below average intelligence.
Everyone likes to think they're so smart because they can see inside their brains and see, with no interference, all their great and original ideas and thoughts.
And I still think smart things sometimes.
But in general, the majority of people I meet, are substantially smarter than me. Not in terms of volume of knowledge, or learned skills, just in that they are better at thinking through things logically, better at problem solving, and more reasonable.
Its humbling.
Days Gone By....
Feeling Old Season 8 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyI'm growing older. I still feel young, but I'm in my 30s.
That means 40s aren't too far away, and I know that this decade flew by fast, I'm certain that the 40s will too, which mean 50s, are also not too far away, then 60s, etc.
There's nothing I can do about it, but I do miss my 20s sometimes and I know I can't ever be that again. That is rough to have to accept.
Saving Face...
I have a serious/angry looking facial expression by default and I have to over compensate by grinning/slightly smiling all the time so people don't think I'm angry or upset.
Get that. It's especially exhausting if you work in customer service, like me. Sometimes I feel like I should find work in a factory instead.
A Terrible Life...
It's not my fault that I had a terrible life, but it's the only one I will ever have and I often struggle to come to terms with the fact that I'll never get to say I had a healthy childhood, teenage years and early adulthood. I ended up being very damn messed up and I envy the people who had it good or at least decent.
I'm fine now, but I lost it on things you go through just as a kid, and it's hard on me.
EDIT: I know people see this as an annoying Reddit trend, but thank you so much! I've been on Reddit for almost two years and it's my first award. Feels like a hug as I just wanted to share my experience, nothing more behind it.
Hush....
I am a naturally quiet person even though I don't want to be and people always say I'm quiet but I can't change.
Me too! Also when I have something to contribute to the conversation people's eyes immediately fixate on me which makes me anxious and more inclined to be quiet again. :(
Do you Validate?
I need validation and to be told I'm doing good. I never had any issues with it growing up, but it feels good now to know I'm doing a good job or the right thing, but i still feel ashamed for wanting to hear it so often.
There's nothing wrong with wanting validation. It's important to understand this. There is no shame in it.
However, what is important is: where the validation comes from.
It should come from you and you alone! Be happy with your work and be proud! It shouldn't matter if other people pat you on the back for it, or even tell you they hate it! It's your own feelings about it that matter!
Work hard and be proud you did so accordingly my friend. :)
Got to have Friends....
Woo Hoo Season 7 GIF by FriendsGiphyI don't make meaningful friendships, can be friends with someone for years and then they move and within a day it's like they never existed for me.
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