Have you heard The Dirt?
No, that's not a cute name for gossip. The Dirtis a biographical film surrounding the rise of Mötley Crüe in the 1970s.
And it contains some....gross and interesting moments.
The film, based on Mötley Crüe's 2001 autobiography titled The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band, contains a scene where Ozzy Osbourne (portrayed by Tony Cavalero) licks up his own urine and then later bassist Nikki Sixx's (portrayed by Douglas Booth) from the deck of a pool.
But that totally can't be real, right? Just movie drama?
WRONG.
Don't do drugs kids.
This ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
Osbourne says he has no memory of the incident:
But the band members of Mötley Crüe remember it.
VIVIDLY.
"We were a wild young band and he kind of took us under his wing," Nikki Sixx said to Page Six.
"We thought we could compete with that, but you can't with Ozzy. He won."
Compete for what?
Diphtheria?
In addition to the urine-licking, Osbourne is also shown snorting a line of ants through a straw, because who needs a functioning, ant-free brain, am I right‽
Viewers (and us) are horrified.
Apparently, in real life, it continued to get worse after the pool deck.
Brace yourselves.
"So after [the incident], snorting ants — all the s--t — I'm like, 'Ozzy, let's go to bed. Time to go night night,'" Tommy Lee, the drummer, said in an interview with Eddie Trunk.
"He's like, 'All right, mate!' So we get into the elevator, and he pulls his pants down and starts to take a s--t in the f---ing elevator! I'm like, 'No, dude! No! There's people in here!'"
"And he's like, 'Okay, mate!' He pulls his f---ing pants up, we get to the floor and I'm like, 'Okay, here's your room, buddy!'"
"I opened the door, pushed him into his and room and Ozzy's like, 'No, you're not going anywhere, mate!' I was like, 'What?' Then he just pulls his pants down again, s--ts on the floor, taking it and making art on the f---ing walls."
Unsurprisingly, Osbourne maintains he remembers nothing at all from this day.
We wish so hard we could un-know these things about Ozzy Osbourne, who was featured as the doddering patriarch on TV with wife Sharon and two of their children.
We prefer to think of him as the hapless guy who can't figure out how to use a remote:
Need to be a rocket scientist to control this TVwww.youtube.com
Much more tame.
But i you decide you need to know more about the debauchery of 80s glam metal, the special edition of The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band, is available here.
