I mean at least it's technically a compliment?
Look, we get it: Newspaper budgets have been diminishing for years and the fine people who dot the i's and cross the t's are always the first to go. But a local newspaper in upstate New York recently learned the hard way that, like, you gotta have at least SOMEONE read your paper through before it goes to press. Even that fifth grader you have at home will do! Just... SOMEONE.
Otherwise, you get headlines like the one Jamestown, New York's Post-Journal just ran and you go viral for all the wrong reasons: "Julia Roberts Finds Life And Her Holes Get Better With Age."
Um, excuse you, Jamestown, New York's Post-Journal?!
See for yourself:
I mean, if I may speak for Julia: on the one hand, thanks? But on the other, like, really, though?
Obviously "holes" was meant to be "roles," and the paper hastily issued a correction to that end.
But that only makes it funnier to me because the headline doesn't make sense even with the correction. Julia Roberts found life? Was she deceased and nobody told us? Has she been to space and found the origins of the universe?
And what does that have to do with her holes getting better with age? Or is that WHY her holes get better with age, because she discovered the very nexus of existence and has applied it to her holes, sort of like stem cell treatments?
I mean, I don't want to kick a good man when he's down but I have a LOT of questions about this headline, chief among them: what on EARTH was the Post-Journal even talking about? Well, it turns out the story originally came from the Associated Press, and the Post-Journal, in addition to the typo, for some reason changed the AP's far more sensical headline, which was "Julia Roberts finds life (and her roles) get better with age." PUNCTUATION. MATTERS.
Unsurprisingly, the internet went all the way off on this tale of Julia Roberts's various holes:
Ugh, same, Busy. Same. Stars: they're just like us, except for their holes, which only get better while the rest of ours' fall into inexorable decay. At least the Post-Journal finally had the guts to say it!
@thekalenallen/Threads
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