I mean at least it's technically a compliment?
Look, we get it: Newspaper budgets have been diminishing for years and the fine people who dot the i's and cross the t's are always the first to go. But a local newspaper in upstate New York recently learned the hard way that, like, you gotta have at least SOMEONE read your paper through before it goes to press. Even that fifth grader you have at home will do! Just... SOMEONE.
Otherwise, you get headlines like the one Jamestown, New York's Post-Journal just ran and you go viral for all the wrong reasons: "Julia Roberts Finds Life And Her Holes Get Better With Age."
Um, excuse you, Jamestown, New York's Post-Journal?!
See for yourself:
Headline of the day Julia Roberts Finds Life And Her Holes Get Better With Age https://t.co/85oU83ijgi— raf taylor (@raf taylor) 1544449919.0
I mean, if I may speak for Julia: on the one hand, thanks? But on the other, like, really, though?
Obviously "holes" was meant to be "roles," and the paper hastily issued a correction to that end.
@mariekehardy To add to the perfection, there was a correction. https://t.co/mrQp7mZoQG— Neil McMahon (@Neil McMahon) 1544429186.0
But that only makes it funnier to me because the headline doesn't make sense even with the correction. Julia Roberts found life? Was she deceased and nobody told us? Has she been to space and found the origins of the universe?
And what does that have to do with her holes getting better with age? Or is that WHY her holes get better with age, because she discovered the very nexus of existence and has applied it to her holes, sort of like stem cell treatments?
I mean, I don't want to kick a good man when he's down but I have a LOT of questions about this headline, chief among them: what on EARTH was the Post-Journal even talking about? Well, it turns out the story originally came from the Associated Press, and the Post-Journal, in addition to the typo, for some reason changed the AP's far more sensical headline, which was "Julia Roberts finds life (and her roles) get better with age." PUNCTUATION. MATTERS.
Unsurprisingly, the internet went all the way off on this tale of Julia Roberts's various holes:
@NeilMcMahon https://t.co/fQImSgNzbg— Jenny Noyes (@Jenny Noyes) 1544425237.0
@NeilMcMahon I love a good holesome headline...— Richard Hyde (@Richard Hyde) 1544433014.0
PSA **** For foreigners and non-journos tuning into this tweet, "sub" refers to a newspaper sub editor and not what… https://t.co/vrfmqptdn9— Neil McMahon (@Neil McMahon) 1544433168.0
Never dictate the headline over the phone. (h/t @NeilMcMahon) https://t.co/0kPUGxQ2sd— Mark Harris (@Mark Harris) 1544468705.0
I like to think all of our holes are getting better with age. Also, copyediting is important. https://t.co/uNG0ZKgurx— Eric Spitznagel (@Eric Spitznagel) 1544394024.0
This might be the best typo our terrible local newspaper @ThePost_Journal has ever made. (Reminds me of @katya_zamo… https://t.co/4uY5vwX6Jd— CJ (@CJ) 1544318930.0
@NeilMcMahon R and H are nowhere near each other on the keyboard. I choose to read it literally.— Pay me in exposure! (@Pay me in exposure!) 1544430618.0
@NeilMcMahon @MColvinMcKenzie My old team once published "Kylie Minogue happy without a man in her".— annemarie - for fig's sage - wyley (@annemarie - for fig's sage - wyley) 1544434600.0
Copy editors are very important. Just ask Julia Roberts. https://t.co/hFcZYbwjRs— Marc Malkin (@Marc Malkin) 1544474320.0
Julia Roberts and her improved holes should host the Oscars https://t.co/JMaagiZlc8— Max Weiss (@Max Weiss) 1544488808.0
Ugh, same, Busy. Same. Stars: they're just like us, except for their holes, which only get better while the rest of ours' fall into inexorable decay. At least the Post-Journal finally had the guts to say it!