We'd like to think we're pretty good judges of character.
We tend to gravitate toward like-minded individuals, friendliness, and general positive vibes that they can be trusted.
Unfortunately, our barometer for judging quality friends can be a little off, and hopefully, by the time we realize it, there has been no emotional–or heaven forbid, physical—harm.
Curious to hear experiences from strangers online, Redditor sugarthnder asked:
"What made you realize someone you knew was actually completely f'ked in the head?"
Figuring out the psyche of certain people is enough to drive a person mad.
The One Who Had Zero Fs To Give
"Was like 15 and my dog just died. Absolutely devastated and was so upset all I wanted to do was go play basketball at the gym. On my way I stop at my best friend's house to tell him the news. He sees I'm upset and starts giggling and sh*t and I was like wtf man whatever."
"As I'm leaving one of the last things he says is 'Hey * my name* where's your dog!?!?' And completely breaks down laughing. Hands on his knees crying. To this day I am still awed at the lack of empathy he extended toward me."
– Acrobatic-Compote-12
The Egregious Ruse
"When they told our friend group of 15 years they had brain cancer and would be dead in 3 months. Went on going away vacation with everyone, cried a million tears, made funeral plans, had therapy sessions about it... They are still alive, never had cancer."
"Turns out they were just worried they were going to jail for embezzling money. Smh, still not sure how that was going to play out well."
– 7Kayman7
Being Hangry
"When she threatened to pour paint thinner on me in the shower because she was mad that I didn't know what she wanted to eat."
– WankyMyHanky603
How do we know if we're in the company of potentially violent people? Sometimes we don't find out until too late.
Can Crusher
"Not my story, but a friend's."
"His buddy was sitting around the fire, hanging out and chatting with everyone else. The guy finished his beer, turned to his wife and crushed the can on her forehead, which knocked her out like a light."
"My buddy said 'that guy says he loves his wife, but he did that to her. I'm not going to wait around to find out what he'd do to me.'"
- Godwinson4King
Interesting Activity For Fun
"A guy I went to school with told me he stabbed himself with a flat head screwdriver for fun."
– BluebomberV
The Pretend Target
"Went out hunting."
"While we were taking a break, he pointed his rifle at my head, paused, and pulled the trigger."
"It wasn't loaded. I left and never went anywhere with him again."
– Swerfbegone
Animal Cruelty
"Let them stay at my place and their dog pooped on the carpet. Woke up to them beating the dog with a metal bat at 1am. Edit: the dog is ok, he lived a long healthy life afterward. She was arrested and her kids were taken away."
– aboxofquackers
Passion and sex drive have their limits.
Obsessed Fan
"When my friend showed me her money and plans to travel to the state of Washington."
"She was planning to steal Edward Cullen from Bella. Twilight was 100% real in her head."
"Last I heard, she had got into some hard drugs."
– cooldart61
Form Of Child Abuse
"When a colleague told me that she had very intense sex with her new boyfriend... in front of her 7 years old son watching all of it."
"She was proud of that and kept giving every detail possible even when we asked her not to. She had a new boyfriend every few weeks and it was always the same sh*t."
– Coc0tte
Awkwardly Proud Brother
"This guy I met in college was a very nice guy. After knowing him for about 9 months, I went to his house in the Summer for the first time. Before we went in, he told me about his sister's 'humungous @ss', and would not quit rambling on about it."
"He even went on about how she was 'blessed with that @ss'. However, the defining moment was when he walked in, and slapped her butt. She said 'stop!' in an embarrassed voice, and shoved him away, as if they were 'playing'(I don't think she liked it at all)."
"Needless to say, I began distancing myself from him more, and more after that home visit."
– Throwawaydrowssap
It's easy to casually view people who are not all there in the head as "crazy" people and make them a punchline.
But I've learned to be more aware of people who are struggling with mental health issues. My babysitter, who use to be the sweetest girl I've ever known since I was a kid, was committed to a mental institution.
To my eyes, there was nothing ever off about her. But she turned out to be bipolar and fell into a deep depression. It pains me to think about her, how she died alone, how she lived in darkness for years and no one ever saw it coming.
Sometimes, people just want to be seen or heard. And when they feel invisible, their frustrations manifest in unexpected ways—some to violent effect.
All I can do is just remember that only kindness matters.
