If you needed another reminder the Evangelical Christian right-wing lives in an alternate reality, we've got you covered.
Nearly everyone greeted the return—after nearly 30 years—of Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker as the witchy Sanderson sisters in Disney's
Hocus Pocus 2.
But trust and believe, Texas mom Jamie Gooch is not among them.
People on social media are roasting Gooch after she went on her local television news to tearfully issue a warning to parents about a harrowing danger facing kids today—the portal to Hell and Satan himself that Hocus Pocus 2 opens into your home.
Yes, that's right.
Gooch literally thinks a movie about comedic witches can "unleash Hell" upon your children through the TV screen.
You can see the report here:
Gooch attracted the attention of the news station that put her on TV after first penning a warning about Hocus Pocus 2's direct line to Satan on Facebook, which went viral—presumably amongst people mocking the whole thing because she's since locked her account.
But Gooch's interview with Texas's KWTX lives on.
In the segment, Gooch warned:
"A worst-case scenario is: you unleash hell on your kids and in your home."
She then dissolved into tears over the profound Satanic evil unleashed on children through a TV.
"It grieves me, the thought of exposing our kids to darkness..."
But Gooch isn't just trading in suspicion here.
She says *ominous music cue* she's experienced the actual evil she speaks of being made manifest by a TV.
"I believe whatever comes in our TV screens, there are things attached to that."
"I have seen for myself the things that I have watched with my eyes or heard over a TV screen that become manifested in real life."
And she warns while the spells Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker cast in
Hocus Pocus 2 might sound like they're all silly fun, you have no way of knowing if they are actually summoning Satan.
"Everybody thinks it's fake and innocent, but they could be casting any type of spell they want to. Anything could be coming through that TV screen into your home."
Didn't think of that, did you?
Of course, social media can't help but guffaw at this overwrought absurdity.
There's no question Midler, Najimy and Parker are powerful but who knew they could actually summon the hounds of Hell?