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Guy Asks If It Would Be Wrong To Secretly Spend His Wife's Inheritance After They Disagree About What It Should Be Used For

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A person's relationship with money can say a lot about their personality.

And this guy's obsession with how to spend his wife's inheritance behind her back speaks volumes.


This is hardly the first time a significant other thought they were entitled to their partner's inheritance, including this story, where the boyfriend believed he should also have a say in how his girlfriend spent the money she received from her late grandfather.

But where both men thought they were entitled to at least some of the funds, this guy was ready to pursue legal action to get it.

The Redditor "aitathrowaway501221" shared his "Would I Be The A**hole" (WIBTA) predicament on the "Am I the A**hole?" subReddit.

The husband asked the thread:

"[Would I Be the A**hole] if I secretly spend my wife['s] inheritance?"

He explained his wife received a surprise inheritance from a woman she had a good working relationship with.

"My wife recently unexpectedly inherited a large sum of money from an elderly lady for whom she used to work as a housekeeper."
"She had worked for her for the last five years, during which time they had become quite close, as she seemed to be the only contact for her with the outside world, and to my knowledge, she had no living family."

But it seems the husband and wife have different plans for how to use the money.

"I have big plans for my wife's inheritance, this is life changing money which should be invested rather than wasted."
"The problem with this though is that my wife disagrees with me. She wants to do something in the elderly lady['s] memory and also donate some of it to some worthy causes which the elderly lady supported."
"While I do appreciate my wife's generosity, I truly think this is not a good way for us to use the inheritance. I tried telling her to leave this to me while she is grieving.
"We had a huge argument about it which ended up with her threatening me that she won't join bank accounts with me anymore and won't give me access to her inheritance. I truly believe my wife is not thinking clearly at the moment and I am considering investing it before it's too late. [Would I be the a**hole] if I do it?"

He also came back later to clarify his plans to access the inheritance.

"Thank you for expressing your opinion about this. I do agree that spending my wife's inheritance without her permission is not the right thing to do. While I am entitled to half of it, I am not to all of it."
"I will have a separate discussion about this with a lawyer and if my wife doesn't consider at least giving me half of the inheritance I will take legal actions behind her back."

Because he was technically asking for advice, the thread was removed shortly thereafter.

It still gave ample time for some Redditors to chime in, however, using their usual scale:

  • NTA: "Not the A**hole"
  • YTA: "You're the A**hole"
  • ESH: "Everyone Sucks Here"
  • NAH: "No A**holes Here"

Most Redditors pointed out the money was given directly to his wife.

It's not his if she doesn't want it to be.

"YTA. You didn't inherit it. Your wife did. She gets to spend it as she chooses." - Imightbemarzipan
"On your edit - you are not entitled to half of it and if you use legal means to attempt (and fail) to get your mitts in it then you will have torpedoed your marriage." - Financelady32
"YTA "You have big plans for your wife's inheritance" Its not yours to have any plans with. I hope your wife puts it in an account you cant touch." - loulou160616

Some also wondered what he expects his wife to share beyond money.

"I still can't wrap my mind around why he thinks he's entitled to half of it. Does he feel this way about all gifts or just money? If someone gifted his wife a package of tampons, is he also entitled to half of that? I'm honestly trying to figure out his mindset." - lemonkitty
"I 100% disagree with him, but I'm guessing his logic is based around assets in a marriage being shared hence half is his."
"Although in some places inheritance is treated as separate anyway so hopefully he remains screwed regardless." - Substantial-Vanilla

It has since been picked up on Reddit's AITA Twitter account, where Twitter followers also had plenty to say about the situation.

They've rated the situation, using the same scale that typically appears in the subReddit.

Just like the Redditors, some have pointed out the straight-forwardness of the situation.

The money was given to her, not him.


Many can't believe this guy's level of entitlement.



Others are hoping the wife keeps the inheritance money and loses her husband.


Some are even joking about how to lose him.



It seems clear Reddit and Twitter both agree that the guy only has access to the inheritance money only if his wife wants him to.

If he has a problem with that, they'll have some issues to sort out.

The book Essential Guide to Divorce is available here.