Often is the case that the people in our lives are here only for a season. Sometimes that season lasts a few weeks, a few months, or even years, but season's come to a close eventually.
For whatever reason that may be, it can hurt to lose a friend, and sometimes it's necessary to move on from the relationship. It's important to have healthy relationships with our friends.
Redditor RawChickenHouse asked:
"Why did you stop being friends with someone?"
It's a part of life that many of us share, so the people of Reddit told us what that moment was like to cut off that toxic friend.
A choice between a friend or a fiancé.
"She told me I had to choose between my friendship with her and my relationship with my fiancé. So, I cut ties with her."
How could she put her in that position?
"I had a talk with my best friend about this once. I brought up how if I was forced by an SO to choose between my SO or my best friend I would choose my best friend. He asked what if he made me choose between him and an SO. I told him I would hope he came to me with more reasons other than 'them or me' ultimatums. Ultimatums with no discussions before or ridiculous reason such as 'I find them annoying' is not a good trait."
- ansteve1
Hit too close to home.
"A friend had multiple kids with multiple girls and abandoned them all. Coming from a "went out for a pack of smokes" father myself, it really killed me to watch him do that. I bailed after the 3rd one, think he's 5 or 6 deep now."
A tough realization.
"When I realized that I was the bad friend."
- Redditor
"I've done this too. It was hard, and I miss my friend a lot, but I think she's doing better now that I'm out of her life. I'm trying to better myself so that I don't become that person to someone again."
"Wow. That's very mature actually. I sort of feel the same way- I've had friendships where we ended up mutually bad for each other, like they were rude and it made me rude back and I was like this is unhealthy. I'm working on how to manage anger and express how I feel instead of getting mad."
Poor mental health get's in the way.
"Had a bad depression for a very long time and on one really bad day I fell out to some of them and it never was the same after that. I lost like 80 or 90% of my friends because of my depressions (mostly because I neglected them)."
"I'm doing a lot better now but I still struggle to keep the depression away and I don't always win. It's been 12 years since it started and I think it will be a life long struggle and sometimes I am afraid I will end up with no friends left, but I try to stay positive and be good to the friends I have left."
- fluff58
If you're reading this and thinking, "I feel this too," you're not alone.
"This. I'm in and out of depressive episodes currently with a mental health crisis that shook many last week. I lost many friends alongside of significant other. I'm in it for the long haul."
- hallidc
Friends that don't really seem to care probably aren't real friends.
"[He] kept rescheduling plans if something else came along. I was a backup for him to chill with when he had nothing better to do. Yeah, I don't need you in my life if you're not going to put forth effort to hang out."
"Keep you heads up kings/queens. Your good people (probably) and have made better friends along the way."
- AbunaiXD
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"'I was a backup for him to chill with,' This was me majority of the time in 8th grade. Most people would rarely talk to me if there was anyone else around. Then when everyone's gone they act as if we're bros. One and a half years later, I'm the quiet kid. I'd still talk if the other person voluntarily talked first. Hope you have better friends now"
Red flags literally on display.
"She started dating this guy that, when I met him, had white supremacist tattoos, had a large Nazi SS on his motorcycle helmet and tank. She told me "Oh, he's harmless", but I couldn't vibe with that kind of person. She started going with him to parties and gatherings in rural compounds and in biker bars. He eventually ended up in jail for viciously assaulting her one night."
Hopefully some of these incidents can shed some light on your own situation. If you've ever had to let go of a toxic friend, you're definitely not alone and you deserve better.
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