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You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.
But you can decide what behavior you'll tolerate from your family.
A Redditor upset with a family member wondered if they handled a situation properly so they turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Redditor GazelleDue1110 asked:
"AITA for having my brother arrested?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I am an insulin dependent diabetic. I have been since birth."
"I am on a pump and don't have a problem affording my supplies. Hell, I usually have extra insulin just in case."
"My brother knows this. He lives with me and is pretty active in my care. He's always asking me how my sugar is, he helps make diabetic friendly meals and is the first to help when I'm too high or too low."
"A few months ago, his girlfriend was diagnosed with diabetes and put on insulin. I have helped where I could with teaching her how to keep her sugar in line."
"She's such a sweet girl and I hate that she's going thru this. Unbeknownst to me, she was having problems affording her medicine."
"I would have been more than happy to help if I had been told because I know first hand the effects of not having it."
"Last week, I had to refill my pump and noticed my supply was a lot lower than normal. I asked my brother if he remembers how much I had gotten last time."
"He said he didnt know. I figured I messed up and it was fine."
"A few days later, Christmas Eve, his girlfriend came over, hugged me and thanked me for the insulin. I was pissed."
"Not at her but at my brother. I'll admit I yelled at him. He didn't feel bad about it and kept saying it was no big deal, I had enough to spare."
"I told him to pack his crap and I called the police. He was arrested for the theft of my medicine."
"His girlfriend was upset and I have offered to pay for her insulin for a few months."
"As you can imagine, our parents are pissed that I had him arrested the day before Christmas. They bailed him out but are now giving me the silent treatment until I apologize and pay them back."
"They said that he's family and I had more than enough to spare. I'm starting to think I'm in the wrong because he was just trying to help his girlfriend and everyone is right."
"I do have enough to spare but I can't get over the fact he did that to me. AITA?"
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.
"NTA. He stole from you, he didn't ask you to help. He didn't even give you the chance. Screw him!"
"He stole your medicine necessary to live! Doesn't matter if you have 'extra', you may not always!" ~ Mis_Bee_Have
"Not to mention, drugs are regulated. Now insulin isn't opiates and won't be as highly regulated, but it is a dangerous drug and too much can kill."
"Someone consistently using double the dose is going to raise red flags at the doctor's office, and they might well refuse more prescriptions until they discover why he's 'taking too much'."
"Also, his health insurance will cut him off well before the doctor, probably suspecting fraud and that he's selling the insulin, profiting off their dime, so he could literally end up paying $1,500 a month just for his own insulin." ~ ChesterTheCarer
"Admittedly I don't know everything about insulin, but my grandfather was an insulin dependent diabetic and we had a hell of a time when we realized his mind was going and he couldn't tell his slow acting insulin from his fast acting."
"And getting a nurse who is able to legally give insulin injections is expensive (none of his children or grandchildren lived near him). So, while I believe that the brother would probably know the difference in the insulin, maybe he didn't and could have given his girlfriend the wrong kind."
"Also, my mom has epilepsy that she controls with very expensive medicine. It is a comfort to her to know she has an extra 2 month supply of her meds at a time."
"Especially since some of them she has to verify which freaking factory it comes from, since the formula for the same drug from the same company can be just slightly different based on that, and can mean the difference between her having a seizure or not."
"And when you spend over $1k/month on your meds you want to make sure they work." ~ X-cited
"Not only all of this but he also blew off the theft as 'no big deal' and lied about it which proves he knew it was wrong. NTA." ~ maddr_lurker
"He could have killed you. Just because you can afford to keep spare and hell are even willing to doesn't mean you don't need to know."
"I mean hell how're you supposed to be sure you have enough if you're actually supplying for two unbeknownst too you? NTA." ~ Thebelldam
"Omg NTA. 'You having enough to spare' dosen't mean you can give it away/have it stolen.
"Is she even taking the same insulin as you? if not that can be very dangerous."
"Your brother is in the wrong and so is your family for saying it's okay." ~ SaucinCats
"NTA. It is very much a big deal that he stole your insulin. Diabetes is a very scary illness, and having extra insulin around in the event that your normal sugar maintenance isn't holding up is crucial for your health."
"Also, if I'm not mistaken, prescribed insulin isn't generic like over the counter medicines. What if your insulin is somehow different from her insulin?"
"What if she had ended up overdosing on insulin, which is something that can actually happen. What your brother did was reckless." ~ theartbook35
While the girlfriend's plight was bad, the brother chose to steal then lie. He then refused to take responsibility for his actions or apologize.
Redditors decided the OP was justified in their reaction.