Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing
CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images

On Friday, March 23, President Trump appointed former United Nations ambassador John Bolton to replace H.R. McMaster as his National Security Advisor. The news that McMaster was going to be replaced didn't come as a surprise to many—he and the President had butted heads for quite some time, and in the wake of Hope Hicks' departure as Communications Director, Trump has been much less hesitant about shaking up the personnel at the White House. What DID surprise many was the appointment of Bolton, an obscure Bush-era diplomat with a reputation for aggressive tactics and threatening behaviors. Stephen Colbert thought the issue warranted some discussion with Bolton himself (as played by Dana Carvey).


Carvey's Bolton is as hilarious as it is terrifying.

In the clip, "Bolton" swings by the show to ease Colbert's fears, but quickly makes matters much worse. He threatens to chase Stephen down a hotel hallway flinging staplers at him, and also mentioned sending some "big fat tanks" into North Korea. Meanwhile, his mustache grew ever larger because it "gets a bit engorged when it smells a war coming on."

Bolton's mustache even weighed in on the performance:

But it turns out Carvey's impression is a little too close for comfort.

Bolton was actually blocked from his original U.N. appointment by Congress, who kept him away from the position after receiving a message from over 60 retired diplomats speaking against him. Though Bolton's professional career is plenty controversial (he once said that if the U.N. headquarters "lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference"), his former colleagues major problem with him was one of character.

During his confirmation hearings, his mistreatment of underlings and embellishment of facts both became sticking points.

In 2005, TIME ran an article detailing some of Bolton's alleged incidents. Here's a particularly revealing excerpt:

Government sources tell TIME that during President Bush's first term, Bolton frequently tried to push the CIA to produce information to conform to—and confirm—his views. "Whenever his staff sent testimony, speeches over for clearance, often it was full of stuff which was not based on anything we could find," says a retired official familiar with the intelligence-clearance process. "So the notes that would go back to him were fairly extensive, saying the intelligence just didn't back up that line."

Those episodes, sources say, frequently involved statements Bolton wanted to make about the malign intentions and weapons capabilities of Cuba and North Korea. Two analysts—one at the State Department and the other at the CIA—told the committee they had run afoul of Bolton in 2002 after they warned that he was making assertions in a speech about Cuba's weapons programs that could not be backed up by U.S. intelligence. Bolton, they said, tried to have them removed from their jobs. Witnesses say that after one of the analysts, Christian Westermann, wrote an internal memo warning of Bolton's embellishments, he was summoned to Bolton's office and subjected to a finger-wagging tirade. Westermann's boss at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., told the committee in a public hearing two weeks ago that he considered Bolton "a serial abuser" of underlings and "a quintessential kiss-up, kickdown sort of guy."

​Bolton eventually bypassed Congressional approval by filling a vacancy left by his predecessor.

Well, if things get bad, at least we'll always have this photoset of Dana Carvey in progressively larger mustaches to keep our spirits high!

H/T - Huffpost, TIME, CNN

More from Entertainment/celebrities

Screenshot of J.D. Vance
Fox News

Vance Claims Dems Would Call Him 'Racist' For Drinking Diet Moutain Dew—And Here Come The Memes

Former President Donald Trump's running mate J.D. Vance was widely mocked after claiming Democrats would call him "racist" for drinking—get ready for it—Diet Mountain Dew.

At a rally in his hometown of Middletown, Ohio, Vance remarked:

Keep ReadingShow less
Kamala Harris; A promotional shot from "Twisters"
Brandon Bell/Getty Images; Universal Pictures

Kamala Harris Brought In More Money In Her 'Opening Weekend' Than 'Twisters' Did—And Wow

Vice President Kamala Harris raised more than $81 million in 24 hours after officially launching her election campaign—an amount that surpasses even the opening weekend haul of the blockbuster movie Twisters.

Twisters, directed by Lee Isaac Chung, is a standalone sequel to 1996's Twister that's received generally positive reviews from critics since its release this past weekend. The movie made $80.5 million over its opening weekend—just shy of what Harris raised in the immediate aftermath since President Joe Biden dropped out of the race and endorsed her to be his successor.

Keep ReadingShow less
Restaurant server writing down meal order
Photo by Jessie McCall on Unsplash

Things Customers Do And Say That Restaurant Employees Hate The Most

There's no question that there are some jobs, like retail and food service, that are annoying to work than others.

But even in the food industry, some customer behaviors really make food service workers question their decision to work in the industry.

Keep ReadingShow less
George Conway; Kellyanne Conway
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images; Riccardo Savi/Getty Images

George Conway Epically Trolls Ex-Wife Kellyanne After Her Tone-Deaf Rant Against Kamala Harris

Conservative attorney George Conway trolled his ex-wife, Trump-era presidential counselor Kellyanne Conway after she griped on Fox News that Vice President Kamala Harris "does not speak well."

Ms. Conway's remark came after President Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 race and endorsed Harris. At 81, Biden faced increasing concerns within his party about his age and capacity to serve another term, along with fears of a potential loss to former President Donald Trump—who is 78—in November.

Keep ReadingShow less
Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds; Lady Deadpool
Taylor Hill/WireImage/GettyImages, Marvel Entertainment

Ryan Reynolds Hilariously Responds To Rumors That Blake Lively Is Playing Lady Deadpool

A new trailer for the upcoming Marvel film Deadpool & Wolverine teased a brief cameo by Lady Deadpool, which sparked several fan theories as to who might be under the mask.

Some thought the female version of Deadpool could be Taylor Swift, playing off rumors of her cameo in the movie that was neither confirmed nor denied by the MCU film's director.

Keep ReadingShow less