Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing

Dana Carvey Channels His Nuttiest John Bolton on Colbert—& It's Unsettlingly Amusing
CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images

On Friday, March 23, President Trump appointed former United Nations ambassador John Bolton to replace H.R. McMaster as his National Security Advisor. The news that McMaster was going to be replaced didn't come as a surprise to many—he and the President had butted heads for quite some time, and in the wake of Hope Hicks' departure as Communications Director, Trump has been much less hesitant about shaking up the personnel at the White House. What DID surprise many was the appointment of Bolton, an obscure Bush-era diplomat with a reputation for aggressive tactics and threatening behaviors. Stephen Colbert thought the issue warranted some discussion with Bolton himself (as played by Dana Carvey).


Carvey's Bolton is as hilarious as it is terrifying.

In the clip, "Bolton" swings by the show to ease Colbert's fears, but quickly makes matters much worse. He threatens to chase Stephen down a hotel hallway flinging staplers at him, and also mentioned sending some "big fat tanks" into North Korea. Meanwhile, his mustache grew ever larger because it "gets a bit engorged when it smells a war coming on."

Bolton's mustache even weighed in on the performance:

But it turns out Carvey's impression is a little too close for comfort.

Bolton was actually blocked from his original U.N. appointment by Congress, who kept him away from the position after receiving a message from over 60 retired diplomats speaking against him. Though Bolton's professional career is plenty controversial (he once said that if the U.N. headquarters "lost ten stories, it wouldn't make a bit of difference"), his former colleagues major problem with him was one of character.

During his confirmation hearings, his mistreatment of underlings and embellishment of facts both became sticking points.

In 2005, TIME ran an article detailing some of Bolton's alleged incidents. Here's a particularly revealing excerpt:

Government sources tell TIME that during President Bush's first term, Bolton frequently tried to push the CIA to produce information to conform to—and confirm—his views. "Whenever his staff sent testimony, speeches over for clearance, often it was full of stuff which was not based on anything we could find," says a retired official familiar with the intelligence-clearance process. "So the notes that would go back to him were fairly extensive, saying the intelligence just didn't back up that line."

Those episodes, sources say, frequently involved statements Bolton wanted to make about the malign intentions and weapons capabilities of Cuba and North Korea. Two analysts—one at the State Department and the other at the CIA—told the committee they had run afoul of Bolton in 2002 after they warned that he was making assertions in a speech about Cuba's weapons programs that could not be backed up by U.S. intelligence. Bolton, they said, tried to have them removed from their jobs. Witnesses say that after one of the analysts, Christian Westermann, wrote an internal memo warning of Bolton's embellishments, he was summoned to Bolton's office and subjected to a finger-wagging tirade. Westermann's boss at the time, Carl W. Ford Jr., told the committee in a public hearing two weeks ago that he considered Bolton "a serial abuser" of underlings and "a quintessential kiss-up, kickdown sort of guy."

​Bolton eventually bypassed Congressional approval by filling a vacancy left by his predecessor.

Well, if things get bad, at least we'll always have this photoset of Dana Carvey in progressively larger mustaches to keep our spirits high!

H/T - Huffpost, TIME, CNN

More from Entertainment/celebrities

Elizabeth Smart accepting an award
Frazer Harrison / Staff/Getty Images

Elizabeth Smart Reveals Her Pivot To Bodybuilding With Photo Of Her Ripped Body—And People Are Impressed

After enduring a truly horrific kidnapping experience that no one deserves to be put through, Elizabeth Smart has gone on to achieve several noteworthy accomplishments.

The child-safety activist has published numerous books, been honored with several awards, was the subject of an acclaimed Netflix documentary, and even competed on the short-lived Fox reality competition The Masked Dancer.

Keep ReadingShow less
AI-generated MAGA influencer Emily Hart
@emily_hart.nurse/Instagram

Man In India Reveals He Conned 'Super Dumb' MAGA Fans Into Paying For His Med School With Fake AI Influencer

There's a sucker born every minute, as the saying goes, and the AI revolution seems to have increased that rate exponentially—especially where MAGA is concerned.

A man in India recently shared with Wired that he's made so much money scamming MAGA devotees using AI that he now has enough to go to medical school.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump
Brendan Smialowski/AFP via Getty Images

Trump's Dismissive Reaction To Concerns About Insider Trading Amid His War With Iran Speaks Infuriating Volumes

In an article for CounterPunch titled "Trump’s Casino Royale: The Iran War," Matthew Stevenson wrote:

"Given that Donald Trump conceives of the presidency as a casino—why else would he be trying to makeover the White House to look like the Bellagio?—it makes sense that his administration has turned the war with Iran into an insider-trading scheme."
"It used to be that wars were fought to make 'the world safe for democracy' or 'to end all wars' (a World War I expression), but now wars are fought so that Trump insiders can get rich quick in prediction markets or to help the president’s family (and its remittance men) corner the Persian Gulf oil market."

Pointing out who is profiting off inflating oil prices and creating false scarcity, Stevenson added:

Keep ReadingShow less
screenshot of CNN on the street interview with Catholic Trump voter
CNN

Catholic MAGA Voter Unloads On Trump's 'Colossally Stupid' Feud With Pope Leo In Viral Rant

After mass on Sunday at the historic St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City, CNN correspondent Gloria Pazmino did some Catholic-on-the-street interviews to gauge reactions to MAGA Republican President Donald Trump's one-sided feud with Pope Leo XIV.

A 2025 Pew Research Center report revealed 55% of Catholics voted for Trump in 2024 and Catholics made up 22% of Trump voters overall. Losing the Catholic vote would destroy Trump's margin of victory going into the midterms.

Keep ReadingShow less
​Taylor Dearden; Alanis Morissette
The Tonight Show/X; Matt Winkelmeyer/FIREAID/Getty Images

'The Pitt' Star Opens Up About Being Told She's A 'Terrible Singer'—And Alanis Morissette Weighed In With The Perfect Tweet

Already renewed for season three, The Pitt has become a popular series about the struggles faced by public healthcare workers, this crew specifically in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

In a hilarious turn of events at the end of season two, actors Taylor Dearden (Dr. Melissa 'Mel' King on the show) and Isa Briones (Dr. Santos on the show) decided to blow off some steam by performing an unhinged, "scream therapy" edition of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know" while most of their coworkers watched.

Keep ReadingShow less