It's commonly pointed out that two subjects that will put a strain on any marriage or long-term relationship are money and sex.
But some people have pointed out that the relationship doesn't have to stop just because the sex did.
Redditor Sorry_Emu5567, asked:
"Under what circumstances would you stay in a sexless marriage?"
Life Is Too Short
"My partner was born with a medical condition that cut his lifespan in half. In the end, he will most likely have a ton of health problems, and sex may not be in the equation for whatever reason."
"He is my best friend. I will love him, and care for him until the end, and then past the end. I don’t care if I have to change his diaper and wipe his a**. I don’t care if dementia comes for him. I’ll be there holding his hand."
- muddya**locus
Healing Time
"My husband broke his neck (he has fully recovered), but we spent about six months with me helping him shower and wiping his a** while his nerves and his bones healed."
"Sex was the last thing on my mind when I was helping him recover. We didn't do it for a WHILE."
"I didn't care! He's my best friend, all I cared about was making sure he was okay. Sex isn't that important, INTIMACY is, and you can achieve intimacy in many other ways than just f**king."
- erin_bex
A Plethora of Activities
"Our marriage is based on mutual admiration and respect. We actually can't stand to be apart."
Sex is just one thing we enjoy about each other, we'd miss it if it were gone, but we have 100 other things we do together for joy."
- rebcabin-r
The Cancer Diagnosis
"My late wife had cancer and sex stopped. She felt extremely guilty about it. I was too terrified to care about sex."
- WingZombie
Valuing Touch
"I think, for your average person, that sex isn't the ONLY thing, not even the MOST important thing, but it's still important for many."
"One of the things I learned relatively late in life is that 90% of what I want is just to touch and be touched. Sure, sex is really nice, but often I wonder if the problem isn't 'no sex,' but rather it's, 'she won't even touch me and doesn't like being touched by me.'"
- npsimons
Chronic Pain and More
"I stayed when my wife was diagnosed with estrogen+ Stage IV breast cancer that had already spread to her spine, liver, and pelvis. Our daughter had just turned six, and our son wasn't even one year old."
"Part of the treatment intended to prolong her life was to artificially induce menopause to cut off estrogen in an attempt to reduce the mechanism the tumor could 'feed' upon, if you will."
"Up to that point, we didn't know why she was in so much back pain and I had been pretty down about the absence of a previously robust sex life... but then it all, sadly, became too clear. She went from wanting it but being in pain to literally zero drive whatsoever."
"We got 20 more months together. She passed in Sept 2019, 20 months after Stage IV diagnosis."
- DGSolar
True Story
"A marriage without sex can last if there is still love, commitment, laughter, friendship, loyalty, and communication."
- zzz_red
The Realities of Life
"I think when people view all sexless marriages with horror, they’re forgetting that, if you intend marriage to be forever, it’s a LONG time."
"People get sick, work schedules get bad, kids exhaust you, and hormones are a godd**ned b***h (f**king perimenopause)."
"You have to make sure you communicate enough so one person isn’t just feeling totally abandoned, but when it’s something like mutual exhaustion, sometimes it just happens and it really can just be a phase."
- justtheretosavestuff
Accidents Happen
"If my partner got injured and was incapable of having or enjoying sex anymore, it isn’t their fault, and although I would miss it TERRIBLY and probably feel a little miserable every time I got horny, it wasn’t a choice they made to leave our sexual side behind. Why would I leave someone I loved dearly for something they couldn’t help?"
- Tablesafety
Sleep Schedule
"People get busy, and they start prioritizing sleep over sex. We both do it. Then you get used to it. Then it’s just not something we talk about anymore."
- AllAfterIncinerators
In It For the Long Haul
"If my partner was incapable of performing, I would absolutely stay. He is my everything. We are partners, best friends, and lovers. Sex is only one part of the equation and the other parts more than make up for it."
"We have had issues over the years on both sides (not gonna go into details), so when I say I would not leave and also he would not, we have already faced this question so we know the answer."
"Just because one partner can’t perform, doesn’t mean the other loses their sexuality completely. You can self-perform so to speak. You still can still have intimacy. There are still a lot of things that can be done. Just full-on two-person traditional sex is out, which doesn’t have to be a game changer if you have communication between partners."
"Source: Been married 30 years."
- Drachenfuer
The Opposite is Worse
"It's gonna sound cheesy as all h**l, but when someone becomes your family, best friend, and loved one, sex is just a part of that intimacy and having fun with your partner."
"You can also be in a marriage with sex and no intimacy, which in my honest opinion, is WORSE than a sexless marriage where you still have intimacy."
- yea_nah448
In Sickness and In Health
"When we will be old, I think it’s going to be different, and sex will not be as important, so probably at that point."
"And if my husband became very ill or had an accident that would make it impossible for him to have sex, then I would stay in a sexless marriage."
"It’s in sickness and in health."
- Hekatevenstar
"My 80-year-old Grandfather bought my 80-year-old Grandmother lingerie for Valentine’s Day and then told us about it at dinner. Lol (laughing out loud)."
- SolarStar2950
Their Penguin
"My marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me. My husband is the greatest person I have ever met, and hanging out with him is literally what I live for."
"If he suddenly decided he never wanted to have sex again, I would definitely stay."
"He is my penguin, my life partner, and life without him would be unbearable."
- F**kingButteredJorts
Their #1 For Life
"My wife and I do not have sex regularly, but that's my f**king #1, homie."
"If I divorced her, I'd lose my best friend. That s**t ain't worth it. Pornhub is free, but 15 years of friendship, inside jokes, memories, laughs, and someone to watch s**tty horror movies with me is priceless."
- photoyoyo
Sex is going to play a vital role in many marriages, and intimacy in the bedroom will be enough to end a marriage for some.
But for others, it wasn't a matter of ending the relationship, but simply allowing it to pivot with the changes in their circumstances. Like letting our partners grow and growing with them, they allowed the marriage to change and grow, too.
