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People Share Unspoken First Date Rules Everyone Should Follow

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man in gray suit jacket sitting on black chair beside brown and white dog
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Reddit user Quotedkarma asked: 'What's an unspoken rule on a first date?'

Countless emotions arise when going on a first date.

Making this all the more difficult is that a first date is one of the few things that absolutely must be done solo, so bringing friends as backup simply isn't an option.

Leaving one to wish there was a handbook for navigating a first date successfully.

Of course, while there is no official guide, everyone has rules and beliefs about what to do and what to avoid on a first date.

From how to effortlessly bring out your best qualities, to a foolproof escape plan if your date is anything but the one you've dreamed your whole life of meeting.


Redditor Quotedkarma was curious to learn all the unofficial dos and don'ts when it comes to first dates, leading them to ask:
"What's an unspoken rule on a first date?"

Eye Contact, And Not With Your Screen...

"Your phone is not part of the date."- Wonderful-Note9289

"Don't be on your phone the whole time."

"And don't talk about your ex."- HoW-LoNg-DoCtOR-YES

Think Very Carefully Before That Second Round

"Don’t drink too much."- drivethruhell

"Had a date like this."

"Within the first 90 minutes they had taken like three shots, and were on their third drink."

"I understand wanting to calm your nerves, but damn."

"The whole 'you need to play catch up LOL' isn't as cute as you think it is."

"We did not go on any other dates."- mothershipq

Drink GIFGiphy

There Is no Scent More Intoxicating Than Your Own...

"Have a shower beforehand."- Porriz

"And take it easy with the perfume/cologne."

Your date shouldn't smell you before they see you."- imnotlouise

No One Likes A Moocher...

"Don't order any extras plates to eat at home with your mom when the other is paying."- lil_wavey999

Always Be On The Same Page...

"Both should know it is a date."- mosquitohater2023

"I met a woman at an out of town festival through a friend of mine that she was hooking up with."

"She ended up taking too many shrooms and I spent an hour with her helping her to feel calmer."

"She is a traveling nurse and was going to be in my city in a few weeks so we exchange numbers and when she gets in town she asked if I want to get some sushi."

"Happy to make a new friend, we meet up, talk a lot about my friend that she’s hooking up with telling funny stories about him."

"Eventually it comes up that I’m leaving the next day for a 3 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend and she screams, 'I thought this was a f*cking date!'"

"Reeeeaaallly awkward."- redmoskeeto

Dating Wtf GIF by MaxGiphy

Be Open And Transparent...

"Not a rule but never make the other person carry the conversation."

"You're both here to make an effort and give each other the respect."

"If you both want different things then let it be said after."

"No need to hurt someone's self-respect for your ego."- Arkjump

"Be there with honest intentions and nothing else."- S-Vagus

Or At Least Be Willing To Share

"Don’t order 3 full meals."- WinkMartindale

"AND expecting him to pay for all of it."

"I mean sure if you want to take some home for your mom, you pay for that yourself."- Widowhawk·

Giphy

Be Prepared For A Lack Of Shared Interests...

"Leave the coin collection at home, wow her with that on the second date."- IronLion11·

Choose Your Activities Carefully

"Don't go to the movies or a fancy dinner on your first date if you don't already know this person."

"The movies is a place where you sit in silence for 2 hours staring straight ahead."

"That does not give you any opportunity to get to know the other person."

"A sit down dinner can be perfectly fine, but if you know within the first 10 minutes that you have no desire to spend any more time in this person's presence, you're stuck through the rest of the meal."

"First dates should always be intentionally short with an option to extend."

"Coffee, froyo, drinks, things that can turn into an hour of talking or 'would you like to grab a bite to eat?'"- baltinerdist

Get Your Emotions Under Control

"Don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then accidentally think about your ex while in there, have to fight back tears, and then come back to the table after way too long, with puffy red eyes."

"Whoops." - Reddit

Sad That 70S Show GIF by LaffGiphy

Just Be Open And Honest... To an Extent...

"Don't: Unload on your date about your trauma."

"Gotta keep that sh*t under wraps until at least date 5."

"Do: Be yourself, unless your whole personality teeters on your traumatic history--in that case, self-deprecating humor will suffice until you can successfully abandon all hope and sit in your car for an hour to cry afterward."-Deep-Essay-4829

A Conversation Is A Two-Way Street

"Usually when asked a question I’d answer it and then hit her with a 'what about you?'"

"To ensure that I wasn’t dominating the convo."

"Let the other person speak."- bumboclawt

... NOPE...

"Bring an egg, uncooked, in your pocket."

"Casually let it fall out at the end of the date."

"This establishes you as a breadwinner, who else has the money to just carry eggs around in their pockets?"

"When your date, inevitably, wants to know more about the egg just shrug it off."

"You're not here to brag, your egg does that for you."- wearywarrior

Broken Heart Love GIF by Share It AgainGiphy

If there is one rule absolutely everyone should follow when going on a first date, it's not being beholden to rules, spoken or unspoken.

After all, the best romances are often the ones which happen organically.

Love cannot be forced.

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