Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Meet The Two Turkeys Vying For The Official Presidential Pardon This Year

Meet The Two Turkeys Vying For The Official Presidential Pardon This Year
Chen Mengtong/China News Service/VCG via Getty Images

They may get along like Peas and Carrots, but ONLY ONE WILL ESCAPE CERTAIN DEATH *maniacal laugh*


JKJKJK, they'll both live. But only one will have the official title. It's Presidential Turkey Pardon time!

Meat Meet Peas and Carrots, this year's gobblers vying for the annual pardon, because everything in Washington is completely fine and business as usual and going according to tradition! Peas and Carrots, come from a farm in South Dakota on a Hutterite colony (sort of like the Amish or Mennonites).

They really are handsome aren't they? Distinguished, you might say, like elder statesmen, but also birds.

Fun fact about Peas and Carrots: they were hatched in JUNE. Did you know that turkeys matured so quickly? I assumed they were around for years and years just doing turkey things before they were ready to be eaten, mainly because they look like deeply disgruntled old men who've had it, but with feathers and stuff. Though they're probably women because I don't think you eat man turkeys? But gender is a construct so who cares. Anyway, they grow up so fast is my point! *dabs sentimental tears*

Other fun facts about Peas and Carrots that may affect your decision about whom to pardon. This information comes directly from the White House, so you know you can trust it.



For me, this isn't a contest. Braid Paisley is lame, ice fishing is cold and boring and I don't care for a boisterous anything, let alone a gobble. And while "telemark snow skiing" is like, come on with the hipster bullsh** Carrots just be cool, I do love a strong and confident man, so I feel like Carrots and I have more in common. Peas gotta die.

KIDDING AGAIN NEITHER OF THEM ARE GOING TO DIE CALM DOWN.

Anyway, if you're wondering why we do this every year, it has multiple origins, technically starting with ol' Abe Lincoln. The New Yorker made this little video about it:

The "pardon" part, however, has origins that seem very fitting in 2018: it was a diversionary stunt by Ronald Reagan to deflect questions about whether he'd pardon Oliver North and John Poindexter in the Iran-Contra Scandal, according to NPR. Neat!

Anyway, the Peas-or-Carrots debate proved divisive on Twitter!





While the more benevolent among us simply couldn't choose:


And others took this as an opportunity to heckle the turkeys for their shortcomings, because the internet is mean:


And still others couldn't help but get topical:




Anyway, as befits America in 2018, the turkeys are currently in a dead heat, with all precincts reporting.

Will there be a recount or a runoff? Watch this space!

H/T Politico, NPR

More from People/donald-trump

The Most Backhanded Compliments People Have Ever Received

Receiving compliments is generally a pretty great experience. Everyone likes to hear what they're doing well and what others like about them.

But receiving a compliment can quickly ruin someone's day if they realize it's being used as a nice way to insult them.

Keep ReadingShow less

Americans Share Their Health Insurance Horror Stories

It's no secret that the American healthcare system is flawed and expensive for the people who need to rely on it to receive care.

But there are some situations that Americans have found themselves in that could easily qualify as horror stories.

Keep ReadingShow less
Mandy Moore
Lionel Hahn/Getty Images

Mandy Moore Rips Critics Who Shamed Her For Sharing GoFundMe For In-Laws Who Lost Home To Wildfires

Actor Mandy Moore did not mince words after she was slammed on social media for sharing a GoFundMe to raise funds for her in-laws who've lost their home in the ongoing wildfires still raging across southern California.

The This Is Us actor took to Instagram after being put on blast and explained that her brother-in-law and sister-in-law "lost their home and everything they own" in the Eaton fire, one of several active wildfires that have been blazing through Los Angeles County since last Tuesday.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshot of Justin Trudeau; Donald Trump
MSNBC; Eva Marie Uzcategui/Getty Images

Justin Trudeau Shares How He Got Trump To Pivot Away From '51st State' Threat

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had social media users cackling with his latest public statements since President-elect Donald Trump made headlines for jabbing him with remarks about Canadian statehood, noting how he'd gotten Trump to drop the empty threat during a recent conversation.

Trump, who first brought up the idea during a November meeting with Trudeau at Mar-a-Lago over Trump's threat to impose 25% tariffs on Canada and Mexico, has since inflamed tensions by referring to Trudeau as the governor of the “great state of Canada." He has also discussed the possibility of using "economic force" instead of "military force" to annex the country.

Keep ReadingShow less
A girl wearing VR goggles with a Tweet overlayed on the front
Rebecca Nelson/Getty iMages; @e_luna1re/X

2025 Officially Marks The Start Of 'Generation Beta'—And Here Come The Jokes

2025 marks a year of many new beginnings.

In just a few short weeks, Donald Trump will return to the White House for the second time—though for the first time as a convicted felon.

Keep ReadingShow less