Things All Guys Do But Would Never Admit To

Going to the bathroom sitting down more often than you think.

That's a guy truth I'll admit to.

I like to be comfortable.

Playtime

"I play with my penis more than any other object, by far."

killsafety

"And not even in a sexual way. Sometimes just flopping it from left to right while watching TV."

OneMorePotion

"This is what my wife had a hard time understanding. Just cause I'm messing with it, doesn't mean I'm aroused. I'm just fidgeting and that's my object."

Cigarettelegs

HER

"Imagine your entire life with a girl you just met."

Old_Situation4990

"Did this this weekend. The most beautiful woman working as a barmaid I have ever seen."

"However, I know it's annoying having someone hit on you while working and working in a bar she must get it all the time. so I kept quiet ordered my drinks and didn't bother her. She remembered what I was drinking by the 3rd drink. that was enough for me. LMAO."

EngineersMasterPlan

Think About It

"Daydream about insane scenarios that will never happen where you're the main hero that swoops in to save the day. Common examples include things like thinking you could figure out how to land an entire airplane in an emergency, thinking about 'What happens if there's a robbery and I stop the bad guy,' thinking about saving someone from a burning building, thinking you could save someone's life if there's a random medical emergency, etc."

bbbbbthatsfivebees

Spoons and Forks

"Not sure if this is for all guys, but my BF will never ever admit that he prefers to be the little spoon 😭."

raviolixx

"I’m over a foot taller than my wife, so I often joke that 'she’s my better third.' But I HATE being a big spoon. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage like being a little spoon, curled up, while she runs her fingers through my hair… Just thinking about is releasing the endorphins. We will hit 29 years together in a couple of months, and it not only never gets old, it gets better with age."

ZacInStl

Pick Away

"Nose picking is more common than anyone will admit."

oldwhitch

"Nose picking is probably the most efficient way to get uncomfortable buggers out of your nose."

AllDressedJalapenos

Ugh. Nose pickers. Stop it. Just stop it!

Whoops

"Morning pees sometimes go sideways and there's annoying cleaning up to do."

​Apprehensive_Sky9062

Sniffed

"Sniff our armpits to be sure they don't stink or we enjoy the smell."

Individual-Option514

"This one is def gender neutral. I've had several girlfriends be embarrassed that I 'caught them' smell-checking themselves. As if they thought it was some secret weird thing they do and nobody else did. LOL."

Zeallust

"When I get nervous I stick my hands under my arms and then I sniff my armpit smell off my fingers and it calms me back down."

Papaya_flight

Inch by Inch

"Measuring their penis. Yeah, some will admit it. But some refuse to admit it."

Just4TheSpamAndEggs

"I don’t need a tape measure to know what disappointment looks like."

flightlessf**kbucket

Haven't done it in a while. At this point, I'm too afraid it's gotten smaller. If that's possible."

Double_Win_9405

"I have honestly never measured my d*ck. Girls I dated did. The numbers really mean nothing to me. I only cared if it was too small. Once girls told me it wasn't, I was satisfied."

esoteric_enigma

I Feel Pretty

"Being friendlier to attractive women."

JoeSchmoe314159

"Attractive women are scarier for many, so a lot of us probably come off as aloof or rude whatever towards them because we just kind of ignore them (actually are just too nervous to address them directly)."

"This isn't such a thing for me now that I'm in my 30s and have a long-time committed partner. No pressure... lol. But I know when I was a younger guy in the dating pool, the very attractive women were terrifying... lol."

bossmcsauce

"Attractive people actually get treated better in most areas of life in general. It’s called Pretty Privilege. Attractive people are trusted more easily, looked up to more, invited to more things, talked to more, can get a raise easier, and obviously can date easier."

Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor

At least once

"If you're single; Having feelings/Attraction to almost every female friend you've got. Doesn't have to be strong feelings. Doesn't have to be romantic. But you've thought about it. At least once. Maybe three times."

TA2556

"Definitely not universal. This stopped happening to me after I started and finished one major relationship."

"You develop a sense for what you actually want -- and how much more valuable friendship can be than any random romance."

"Also, as a straight guy, having uncomplicated friendships with multiple women is a great way to just get out in life, meet people and situations you never would've otherwise, and not bog down your own psyche. Really elevated my 20s."

MRIchalk

Underneath

"Kicking ice cube under the fridge when falls."

Subject-Inflation805

"Gotta feed those shadow critters."

UnRealmCorp

I love the ice cube kick.

I think it's gender universal.