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If you're the parent of a young child, there's a pretty good chance you've found yourself sucked into the yearly stress-filled hellscape ... ahem... tradition that is Elf On The Shelf. There are really only two ways to go with this. Either you're going to be the parent who gives in to the madness and runs with it to possibly inappropriate extremes; or you're the parent who forgets about the stupid thing constantly. Nobody is really just "good" at Elf on the shelf.
We suppose there's a third option - rallying passionately against the surveillance and reclaiming your liberties. Either way, Elf On The Shelf posts on Twitter are at an all time high. Whether people love them or hate them, Elf on the brain is so real. How do you not spend all day thinking about a doll whose entire back story is watching your children at all times and reporting their activities in detail to an elderly man who thinks about them when they're sleeping? Right?
Let's check in on the over-elfchievers... those brave warriors who truly commit to their elf's mission; for better or worse.
My brother wanted to take his PS4 to play at my grandparentβs house & his elf on the shelf was on it so they had toβ¦ https://t.co/GD640XuXMGβ Lari Alvarez (@Lari Alvarez) 1544226040.0
My dad is doing elf on the shelf to my mum this year - my heart, absolutely love him π©β£οΈ https://t.co/Y8bP6y205fβ Aimee Jones (@Aimee Jones) 1544001251.0
I think my sister is getting more from the Elf on the Shelf than my niece and nephew https://t.co/mCiYtRcqsMβ Jess Kelly π©π»βπ» (@Jess Kelly π©π»βπ») 1544045530.0
Our Elf on the shelf is out of control yβall https://t.co/6W190bhL5hβ Manda (@Manda) 1544306255.0
My little niece wanted to record her elf on the shelf overnight to see him get up πππ my sister done well imo https://t.co/w2rKK7uC3kβ Belinda McEyebrow Β© (@Belinda McEyebrow Β©) 1543872106.0
My manager asked me to set up a scene for the first night of elf on the shelf at my work https://t.co/9x3WD3xJdVβ ditch witch (@ditch witch) 1544540813.0
Some of us live in a totally different elf reality than those over-elfchievers, though...
@treydayway "The Elf didn't move last night, Mom!" "It died" π¬πβ πΈπππ ππΆππΎπ π¨π¦ (@πΈπππ ππΆππΎπ π¨π¦) 1543878627.0
Hahaha ma mums doin elf on the shelf way ma wee brother n she poured gravy all over the sink n left it over night tβ¦ https://t.co/54jFGPXa1qβ Neve Palmerπ· (@Neve Palmerπ·) 1543825574.0
Overheard between a 5th grader & my 7 yr old: 5th: "Santa isn't real & neither is the elf on the shelf." 7: "yeah rβ¦ https://t.co/zqcH1V1OOWβ Mommy Narrated (@Mommy Narrated) 1544064662.0
The elf on the shelf signals your complicity with the surveillance police state, it is your duty to reject the elviβ¦ https://t.co/mg8cOYjNf9β Dungeon Facts (@Dungeon Facts) 1543682512.0
When my kids ask why we don't have an Elf on the Shelf, I calmly and gently explain that our assigned elf died in tβ¦ https://t.co/q2ojC7EWG1β Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe) 1544063324.0
Now that's an Elf On The Shelf! https://t.co/ZFKFmhm6I8β RPGLeague (@RPGLeague) 1543960827.0
I don't have a elf on the shelf Because frankly the little fuckers creep me out There I said it!β Flirt (@Flirt) 1544375642.0
@envydatropic @burrowed_deep I have 3, please come to my house. However, my kids may plot revenge.β Mystical441 (@Mystical441) 1543881865.0
Good morning to everyone except whoever invented Elf on the Shelf. That creepy little fucker is one white dress awaβ¦ https://t.co/1i7mXW7e8kβ Vixx (@Vixx) 1543848228.0
@MomOnFire Fucking. Bane. Of. My. Life.β Fαͺα’ α©αͺNα αͺαF (@Fαͺα’ α©αͺNα αͺαF) 1543828722.0
I swore Iβd never do elf on a shelf. But here I am in my free time looking up elf on the shelf ideas because my kidβ¦ https://t.co/dLPUzgZShfβ Megan (@Megan) 1543864891.0
And sometimes things just go way, way off the rails.
@DrJenGunter @SwearyPaed @janevandis I. Canβt. Unsee. That.β MamaBear (@MamaBear) 1544413295.0
So ... um ... Happy Holidays we guess? Oh, and if you're looking to get out of elf duty and your kids are Harry Potter fans, you can just do what I did. I told them Santa gave their elf a sock. The extra 20 minutes of sleep each night is glorious.