If you're the parent of a young child, there's a pretty good chance you've found yourself sucked into the yearly
stress-filled hellscape ... ahem... tradition that is Elf On The Shelf. There are really only two ways to go with this. Either you're going to be the parent who gives in to the madness and runs with it to possibly inappropriate extremes; or you're the parent who forgets about the stupid thing constantly. Nobody is really just "good" at Elf on the shelf.
We suppose there's a third option - rallying passionately against the surveillance and reclaiming your liberties. Either way, Elf On The Shelf posts on Twitter are at an all time high. Whether people love them or hate them, Elf on the brain is so real. How do you not spend all day thinking about a doll whose entire back story is watching your children at all times and reporting their activities in detail to an elderly man who thinks about them when they're sleeping? Right?
Let's check in on the over-elfchievers... those brave warriors who truly commit to their elf's mission; for better or worse.
My brother wanted to take his PS4 to play at my grandparent’s house & his elf on the shelf was on it so they had to… https://t.co/GD640XuXMG— Lari Alvarez (@Lari Alvarez) 1544226040.0
My dad is doing elf on the shelf to my mum this year - my heart, absolutely love him 😩❣️ https://t.co/Y8bP6y205f— Aimee Jones (@Aimee Jones) 1544001251.0
I think my sister is getting more from the Elf on the Shelf than my niece and nephew https://t.co/mCiYtRcqsM— Jess Kelly 👩🏻💻 (@Jess Kelly 👩🏻💻) 1544045530.0
Our Elf on the shelf is out of control y’all https://t.co/6W190bhL5h— Manda (@Manda) 1544306255.0
My little niece wanted to record her elf on the shelf overnight to see him get up 😂😂😂 my sister done well imo https://t.co/w2rKK7uC3k— Belinda McEyebrow © (@Belinda McEyebrow ©) 1543872106.0
My manager asked me to set up a scene for the first night of elf on the shelf at my work https://t.co/9x3WD3xJdV— ditch witch (@ditch witch) 1544540813.0
Some of us live in a totally different elf reality than those over-elfchievers, though...
@treydayway "The Elf didn't move last night, Mom!" "It died" 😬😂— 𝐸𝓂𝓂𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑒 🇨🇦 (@𝐸𝓂𝓂𝓎 𝑀𝒶𝓇𝒾𝑒 🇨🇦) 1543878627.0
Hahaha ma mums doin elf on the shelf way ma wee brother n she poured gravy all over the sink n left it over night t… https://t.co/54jFGPXa1q— Neve Palmer🕷 (@Neve Palmer🕷) 1543825574.0
Overheard between a 5th grader & my 7 yr old: 5th: "Santa isn't real & neither is the elf on the shelf." 7: "yeah r… https://t.co/zqcH1V1OOW— Mommy Narrated (@Mommy Narrated) 1544064662.0
The elf on the shelf signals your complicity with the surveillance police state, it is your duty to reject the elvi… https://t.co/mg8cOYjNf9— Dungeon Facts (@Dungeon Facts) 1543682512.0
When my kids ask why we don't have an Elf on the Shelf, I calmly and gently explain that our assigned elf died in t… https://t.co/q2ojC7EWG1— Abe Yospe (@Abe Yospe) 1544063324.0
Now that's an Elf On The Shelf! https://t.co/ZFKFmhm6I8— RPGLeague (@RPGLeague) 1543960827.0
I don't have a elf on the shelf Because frankly the little fuckers creep me out There I said it!— Flirt (@Flirt) 1544375642.0
@envydatropic @burrowed_deep I have 3, please come to my house. However, my kids may plot revenge.— Mystical441 (@Mystical441) 1543881865.0
Good morning to everyone except whoever invented Elf on the Shelf. That creepy little fucker is one white dress awa… https://t.co/1i7mXW7e8k— Vixx (@Vixx) 1543848228.0
@MomOnFire Fucking. Bane. Of. My. Life.— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF) 1543828722.0
I swore I’d never do elf on a shelf. But here I am in my free time looking up elf on the shelf ideas because my kid… https://t.co/dLPUzgZShf— Megan (@Megan) 1543864891.0
And sometimes things just go way, way off the rails.
@DrJenGunter @SwearyPaed @janevandis I. Can’t. Unsee. That.— MamaBear (@MamaBear) 1544413295.0
So ... um ... Happy Holidays we guess? Oh, and if you're looking to get out of elf duty and your kids are Harry Potter fans, you can just do what I did. I told them Santa gave their elf a sock. The extra 20 minutes of sleep each night is glorious.