Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

2017 Onion Article Resurfaces After Hilariously Predicting Nuclear Info Would Be Stored At Mar-A-Lago

2017 Onion Article Resurfaces After Hilariously Predicting Nuclear Info Would Be Stored At Mar-A-Lago
@TheOnion/Twitter; Scott Olson/Getty Images

Since practically the moment former Republican President Donald Trump descended that escalator to start his campaign in 2015, every move he's made seems to have been predicted by an old article from satirical news site The Onion.

And the revelation that the primary reason behind the FBI search of Trump's Mar-a-Lago home on Monday was to retrieve classified documents pertaining to nuclear weapons is, hilariously and terrifyingly, no exception.


Turns out, The Onion predicted this all the way back in 2017 in—we can't stress this enough—an article that was meant to be absurd parody... but has turned out to be frighteningly real.

The Onion article, posted shortly after Trump's inauguration, reads as if the staff there is indeed, as one tweeter described them, "wizards who deliver messages from the one true oracle."

The Onion's headline posits that the nuclear codes somehow ended up in Mar-a-Lago's lost and found—a once-absurd notion that doesn't seem all that implausible after this week, if you think about it.

The headline reads:

"Mar-A-Lago Assistant Manager Wondering If Anyone Coming To Collect Nuclear Briefcase From Lost And Found"

The article features quotes from a fictional Assistant Manager named Chris Mahoney who was given the nuclear football after someone found it in a dining room.

The article reads:

“Someone noticed it in the dining room and dropped it off, and it’s just been sitting at the bottom of the bin ever since,” said Mahoney, adding that he had been asking people coming to collect their lost scarves and sunglasses if they might also have misplaced a briefcase attached to a pair of handcuffs."

The article goes on to report that the nuclear football was subsequently claimed by a rando who thought it was his briefcase—and is now in possession of the ability to obliterate the entire Earth.

"At press time, a man had mistakenly claimed the briefcase as his own before getting home to discover all the unfamiliar buttons inside."

On Twitter, people of course had a field day laughing about this.









At this point we should all just sit down with The Onion's archives and back episodes of The Simpsons, which has also predicted all too many highlights from the Trump era, and study up so we're always ready for what's next.

More from People/donald-trump

Ted Cruz
Kayla Bartkowski/Getty Images

'The Onion' Rips Ted Cruz With Brutal Headline After Yet Another Vacation During Texas Disaster

The satirical news site The Onion had social media users cackling with its brutal headline mocking Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz for once again being out of the country when Texas was hit by another deadly natural disaster.

Cruz faced considerable national backlash after he flew to Cancún while millions of people went without food and water as a result of the February 2021 Texas power disaster. At least 246 people were killed directly or indirectly; some estimates suggested as many as 702 people were killed as a result of the crisis.

Keep ReadingShow less
Elon Musk and Grimes
Kevin Tachman/Getty Images for Vogue

Elon Musk's Ex Grimes Calls X Platform A 'Poison' And 'Theatre' After Social Media Hiatus

Claire Boucher—who performs and creates under her stage name Grimes, but prefers her birth name or just "C" offstage—recently returned to her musical persona's social media accounts after taking a hiatus for her own well-being.

Once extremely active, she noted on X in April:

Keep ReadingShow less
Mark Ruffalo; Screenshot of Joe Rogan
Roy Rochlin/Getty Images for Tribeca Festival; The Joe Rogan Experience

Mark Ruffalo Blasts Joe Rogan For Being Shocked By ICE Raids On Non-Criminal Immigrants

Actor Mark Ruffalo took podcaster Joe Rogan to task, saying he is being either "not that smart or not that dumb" for thinking that the Trump administration's ongoing immigration crackdown would only target criminals.

News outlets have reported numerous examples of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) arresting individuals, including U.S. citizens, who have no criminal record, or whose criminal record is limited to minor offenses.

Keep ReadingShow less
Screenshots of Peter Doocy and Karoline Leavitt
Fox News

Peter Doocy Brings The Receipts After Leavitt Tries To Deflect Away From His Question About 'Epstein List'

Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy was not buying what White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt was selling when she did her best to gaslight him over Attorney General Pam Bondi's claim that the so-called Epstein files do not exist.

Given the fascination surrounding documents related to late financier, pedophile, and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein—rumored to contain the names of Epstein's most high-profile enablers—Bondi's remarks stunned critics and supporters of the Trump administration alike.

Keep ReadingShow less
Australian conservationist Robert Irwin accidentally dined and dashed at The Jetty Pavilion, as shown on the right.
@robertirwinphotography/Instagram; @jettypavilioncoffs/Instagram

Robert Irwin's Sweet Dine and Dash Apology

Conservationist and all-around good guy Robert Irwin apologized for an unintentional dine-and-dash after grabbing a salad at The Jetty Pavilion in Coffs Harbour, Australia. In an Instagram post, Irwin explained that he was traveling along the east coast of New South Wales and stopped for dinner.

Irwin shared the funny story with his 7.6 million followers.

Keep ReadingShow less