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By now, you've probably heard of that college admissions scandal.
Yesterday's arrests were part of the largest college admissions scam ever prosecuted by federal authorities, according to multiple reports. Parents paid up to $6.5 million to guarantee admissions for their children.
In federal court documents, prosecutors outlined how the scheme worked: Parents paid a college prep organization to take on behalf of their children or to correct their answers. The organization also bribed college coaches "to help admit the students into college as recruited athletes, regardless of their abilities." Some of the defendants even created fake athletic profiles for their children to bolster the ruse.
The arrests (50 of them thus far, with more to come) have been lauded as a win in the battle against systemic inequality. And as rage-inducing as this topic can be, at least we can laugh some more, and it's all thanks to a bizarre new meme that invites people to share how they got into college "the old fashioned way."
Like so:
I got into junior college the old fashioned way: by them accepting everybody. https://t.co/Y5t2sKgMXa— Aaron (@Aaron) 1552444527.0
Oh, well, that's one way to do it:
I got into college the old fashioned way: by letting my father’s celebrity speak for itself.— Ben Dreyfuss (@Ben Dreyfuss) 1552404068.0
We personally can't wait for the Lifetime original movie!
Lori Loughlin paid 500K for her daughter to get into USC and that's fucked up. I got into college the old fashioned… https://t.co/J2CkmFNE7R— sarah schauer 🦂 (@sarah schauer 🦂) 1552497857.0
That's called Mom Power!
I got my boys into college the old fashioned way: I nagged them about their grades.— Randi Mayem Singer (@Randi Mayem Singer) 1552444342.0
*flashbacks intensify*
Shoutout to my mom who got me into a college I probably didn’t deserve acceptance to the old-fashioned way: by subj… https://t.co/cn5Ap6uarI— Matt Gallagher (@Matt Gallagher) 1552429521.0
TOO REAL!
I got into college the old-fashioned way: By ruining my teenage years with a nervous breakdown.— Julius Sharpe (@Julius Sharpe) 1552420510.0
That's the spirit!
Okay well some of us got into college the old fashioned way, by not going— debbyryan (@debbyryan) 1552459172.0
A tale as old as time.
I got into college the old fashioned way: transferring from community college!— Shook Knight (@Shook Knight) 1552498747.0
BRB, CRYING.
I got into college the old fashioned way. Begging the financial aide office for more money and getting into debt.— Maxwell Blaze (@Maxwell Blaze) 1552444957.0
You can do that?!
Really proud today that I got into college the old-fashioned way: by having sex with the SAT— Kat Rosenfield (@Kat Rosenfield) 1552430629.0
If only we'd had the foresight to do the same.
I got into college the old-fashioned way: by submitting my Galaxy Quest fanfic as supplemental material.— Helen Shang (@Helen Shang) 1552426602.0
And we've never been prouder.
I got into college the old fashioned way: by embracing mediocrity and aiming low— Julia Apple (@Julia Apple) 1552459442.0
Relatable.
I got into community college the old-fashioned way. I drove down there, smoked a cigarette outside the admissions o… https://t.co/Y5yoaoILHS— Chris C. Davis (@Chris C. Davis) 1552414894.0
If only we'd known!
Back in the day you got into college the old fashioned way; you bought a building!! https://t.co/MLsZMifTi6— Sean (@Sean) 1552418520.0
And there are plenty to choose from!
See, I got into college the old fashioned way.... applied to a school that accepts ANYONE because they’re dying for $$$$— Ashley Hilger (@Ashley Hilger) 1552502690.0
Bribing school officials doesn't have to be your ticket to the American dream. Just go to college the old fashioned way: By making awkward jokes that cut to the heart of our suffocating oligarchy! Trust us, you'll thank yourselves later.