The Most Obvious Lies People Have Ever Been Told

Be careful what you lend others...

"My first watch was an omega and I saved up on high school to get it."

"One of my good friends back then asked to wear it for 1 period and would give it back at lunch."

"He begged and begged so as a high school kid I gave in or couldn’t keep saying no I guess, weak on me, obviously."

"Well, he smashed it, apparently smashed the glass to test it, gave it back and said it was a fake and that’s why the glass cracked and said he didn’t do it and it just fell apart."

"A**hole became a medical doctor and is now involved in politics and holds state office."

"I’m still pissed about the watch he never admitted he broke cuz he was salty and jealous."

"D*ckhead then, d*ckhead now."- sunset117

There's an easy, if disgusting, way to see if that's true!

“'I did not feed your dog any human food'."

"my mom, while my dog pukes and sh*ts all over my house."- Hambushed

Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth

"When a co-worker told my own story back to me as his own."

"Twice."- lurkity_mclurkington

It's Not The Way You Sound, But What You Have To Say...

"I speak French, though I’m losing it from lack of use."

"But one of my college guy friends started dating a girl 'from France'.”

'He was all excited because she could talk to me in her native language and I could help translate. So he brought her to a party at my sorority house and introduced us.

"I greeted her in French with a very simple, “bonjour, bienvenue, comment ça va” which is just hi, welcome, how are you."

"Blank stare and red face in response."

"She then said, in what I thought was a kind of strange accent, that she’s sorry, she didn’t understand me. "

"I looked at the guy and said 'I thought you told me she was French?' Because maybe she was of a different nationality and he was confused."

"He looked at her and she just turned and left."

"He followed then returned a bit later and said he had caught up to her and she started screaming at him in perfect Midwestern accented English that he was a jerk for setting her up to look like a fool."

"He had genuinely been excited that he could introduce her to someone she could talk to so he was blown away by her accusations and then angry that she lied."

"She apparently felt faking an accent would make her more appealing or something."

"I would see her around on campus after that but she avoided me like the plague."

"TBH, I felt bad for her, but if you’re going to fake it, at least pick a country with a language you can speak."- LaLionneEcossaise

Sometimes, All You Can Do Is Laugh

"When I was a kid, the internet wasn't a thing so, my friends were whoever happened to live in the neighborhood."

"One kid was a well known liar and exaggerator. We were maybe 14 years old at this time.'

"This kid could play guitar and was always talking himself up about it and talking about 'his band'."

"He actually could play, but 'his band' did not exist."

"One day, I called him at his house, from my house. I don't remember what it was about, but a few minutes into the conversation, told me, 'by the way, I'm in Florida with my band', just out of the blue."

"This was before even pagers were a common thing."

'I called him.'

"At his house."

"I just said something like , 'uh huh. Ok'."and ended the conversation."

"I then proceeded to tell all the other kids in the neighborhood."- Knight_Owls

No One Who Did This Would Actually Promote It!

"In the early 90’s I was at work making $5/hour, and a co-worker looked me straight in the eye and said he had bought a surface to air missile from China and kept it stored at him mom's house in a different city."

"Wtf dude?"

"That’s not even close to believable."- AbeLincolnsBallsack

Actions Have Consequences...

"When I was a public defender my dipsh*t client called up his victim from the jail phone the night before his trial."

"He said kill repeatedly in an attempt to intimidate her."

"When I was telling him how stupid this, was his excuse was that he was watching Kill Bill and someone changed the channel on the cell block communal TV. "

"That dumba** is now doing 28 years in prison."- Monkey-Tamer

Peloton

"My friend told me that getting a Peloton changed her life. I looked up her workout stats & she had used it 4 times in 5 months of owning it. Her husband fared a little better with using it 9 times."

"Don't know why this annoyed me so much." - natasha_c

Not The Workout He Was Expecting

"Reminds me of my ex wife. Joined a gym, got all the gear for it: shirt, lanyard, water bottle, hat. Everything. She was always telling people she went to the gym, and she would tell me she was at the gym while I was at work. I decided to join the gym and went down to sign up. They told me I could add to my wife's plan and I'd save the enrollment fee. She pulled up the account, and she had attended 3 times in about six months span, and canceled the membership. The silver lining was me finding out that was one of her excuses for cheating on me." - evanjw90

Miraculous

"Used to have a friend that spewed BS all the time. Told me her bio parents, who live together, were divorced and seeing other people, and also that she had 25 siblings. Brought it up to her mom one time, which was an interesting conversation. She also told us she had cancer, and then a week later it was miraculously cured." - thursdayplurbonym

Human Weapon

"A childhood friend and I met up for coffee one day after not meeting for a few years. He casually "let it slip" that ever since he earned a black belt, he has had to register with the state as a "human weapon". -Readordie5

Let Me Check The Books

"As a tax accountant, I'm told lies about how much money people actually made all the time during tax season."

"My favorite was a guy telling me he's broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash."

-reusethisname

We've all found ourselves in situations where we feel we have no choice but to lie.

However, if we really have to struggle to come up with a bogus story that no one will believe, then it's probably smarter and easier to do something which requires considerably less effort.

Tell the truth!