It takes more than being naked to be intimate.
True emotional intimacy requires vulnerability and a naked soul—something far more difficult to achieve around another person than first meets the eye.
The terror of being known is one of the more intimate experiences of our human existence.
We must give into it in order to truly know someone else, though—which is the paradox of love and intimacy.
Redditor baby_darko asked:
"What's the most intimate thing in a relationship that's not sexual?"
Here were some of those answers.
Euphemize Like A Sailor
"Getting each others sense of humor. And when you both start talking like each other because you pick up on each others slang and way of speaking."-Thebigdumbidiot
"The speaking like each other was something I hadn’t noticed until about two years in when a friend pointed it out. Friend was busting my stones because I picked up on her use of cutesy nonsense words and that they have specific uses and meanings (I guess not exactly nonsense anymore)."
"While thinking about it I realized that my fiancée now swears like a trucker far more than she used to. One of us may be a better example for the kids than the other."-battlerazzle01
Unfiltered
"Honesty. Its not like we actively go around lying all day, but until you're in a relationship were you have truly honest conversations about even the most mundane thing you realize how much 'tactfulness' goes into everyday interactions."
"In my opinion it's extremely intimate to share your true unfiltered thoughts."-jazzz92
"This is so true. I’ve had very loving partners, but I’ve only ever known one person I felt comfortable being truly unfiltered with."
"If you ever have someone like this in your life, cherish them. It’s so special and rare."-feed-me-trash-tv
Do you see a form of intimacy you're experiencing but didn't even fully acknowledge yet?
How To Eat Some Spice
"Just having little tid bits of information about them."
"Like if i eat spicy food I'll get hiccups in the first 3-5 bites and then after they subside I'll be able to eat that spicy food without any issues."
"This is so specific but them knowing and showing that they know is just so intimate."-ComprehensiveTooth2
How To Make Up Ground
"Seeing how they respond when sh*t gets real. I was attacked and out of work recovering for about a month, and my bf didn’t even blink about my lack of income."
"He just says, ‘it’s essentially your new birthday, we’ll have whatever you want to order for dinner all month.’ He was there through my panic attacks, my crying spells, my lawyers appointments, signing up for therapy. Everything."
"To see how much someone will stand by you and love you when you’re at your worst is pretty incredible."-anitasdoodles
ASL In The Dark Times
"Learning new ways to communicate. My partner has been sick, he lost his voice, I know Sign Language and I taught him the hand sign for 'I love you' 🤟"
"He never knew it was I love you. Til I taught him. Now, he can talk a bit better, he verbally says I love you, but also he'll say 'babe look' and he'll flash the 🤟 sign to me and smiles."
"Its only been about a week and half that I showed him that, but he uses it as well as says it and I think it's amazing.
I also taught him how to sign 'more kisses' lol cus he loves when I give him kisses on his face. So when he was at the beginning of being sick, he'd sign 'more kisses, more kisses.'"
"It's little things that aren't sexual that makes a relationship feel so close and intimate. I could ramble on for hours and hours pages upon pages about how wonderful this man is."-baby_darko
Even When It Gets Scary, He's There
"When I was pregnant with our 2nd kid, about 13 weeks in, we were having sex. He stopped and I looked at him to see he has turned ghost white. 'Babe. You're bleeding.'"
"I tell him it's fine, just keep going. 'No, like a lot. I'm calling the doctor.' This is like 2AM. I get up not thinking anything of it at first and then look at our bed. It looks like he has stabbed me with a machete. I run to the bathroom and fill the toilet with blood. I feel light headed."
"Manage to get a hold of the OB on-call. 'Unfortunately, you are likely miscarrying. We will schedule an ultrasound in the morning. Until then rest with your feet up. Sorry, there is literally nothing we can do.'"
"He proceeded to clean up the nightmare and held me until morning while I sobbed thinking we killed our baby because I was so fucking horny. We weren't even being rough."
"The kid lived. He's 8 years old now. We were banned from sex for 7 months. This man cuddled me every night for 7 months. He sympathized when I complained about not being able to be intimate. He never got selfish."
"He gave me everything I needed. He is NOT THAT GUY, but he came through so fucking hard. The support I received from was so much more intimate than anything we've done together. Been together since 1998. We still snuggle nightly."-oneplanetrecognize
These Low Effort Jobs Have Surprisingly High Salaries | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...A partner who can truly face these problems with you as if they were their own, and someone who you want to hold too close...isn't that what intimacy is?
Through The Literal Bad Sh*t
"Crying without judgment. I realized that I don't cry in front of people. Except my wife. She cries, too. We cry over different things and are just there for each other without judgment or saying, 'You shouldn't cry over this.'"
"We understand that we're different. I listen to her, offer her comfort, and actively participate in the conversation with both of our views in mind. And she does the same for me."
" Funny enough, when we were together a couple of years, though we showered together, I refused to use the bathroom in front of her. Her response? She removed the bathroom door."
"Later on, and this is going to be gross so hop off now, I became severely constipated. No amount of fiber or water or laxatives were doing anything. She took me for colon hydrotherapy, where I took the biggest dump of my life."
"I lost 3.4lbs of fecal matter that day, and as I destroyed the toilet, I hugged my wife and sobbed miserably. If that's not intimacy, I don't know what is."-DrOculus90
Physical Touch
"When my wife was alive her and I were always in some form of physical contact. If I was driving, my right hand was always on her leg and she would always lightly ticking the back of my neck and head (I really miss that feeling)."
"We had two sofas so we could both lay down and stretch out while watching TV, but we'd put one arm out so we could hold hands. If we were out somewhere she would always hook her arm around mine and have her body pressed up against me (I miss that feeling too)."
"She was really big on physical affection and contact. There was nothing sexual in this kind of touching either but it always felt so good having her hand on my back, or tickling my head, of having her pressed up against me in line at the movies."
"She was the first woman I'd ever been with that was so affectionate all the time. She's been gone 8 and 1/2 years now and I really miss that affection."-HumpieDouglas
How To Respect Your Hooman
"My partner has Aspergers and they have issues with interactions of all types and get very frustrated without a routine. They also have terrible nightmares and terrors when they sleep. I made a full on schedule, hand signals, and safe words/phrases to help them."
"I would stay up at night to help them when they had nightmares or terrors. They have a terrible immune system and get sick very frequently and even though I have emetophobia(the fear of vomit) I would take care of them."
"They'd have days they couldn't even lift themselves off the floor and I'd help them to bed and I'd do everything I can to help. I love my partner more than anything. They do the same for me even."
"We discuss everything. We discuss our thoughts, feelings, and our day every day. We communicate and take care of each other. We fight of course but we never yell or scream or throw hands. We make up."
"We have days where we spend time apart to recuperate. We have self care days. We check each other's mental, physical, and emotional health every chance we get. We heal ourselves and each other. We give each other what we want for ourselves."
"We cuddle. We kiss. We watch movies. We make traditions. We cook together. We love each other. And in the end, above all else, we RESPECT each other. That's a relationship to us."-Jayden_Riley-2002
Intimacy is also shared between more than just partners.
Friends, family and even coworkers can share intimate moments and those moments are truly the foundation upon which relationships are structured.
Intimacy is key.
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