The Dog Evading Capture

The little boy I used to baby-sit spent all his time trying to surprise the dog.

He reasoned the dog could probably talk but didn't want to reveal this because then she would have to do chores, clean up after herself, etc. Several times a day he would unexpectedly barge into a room, hoping to catch the dog in mid-conversation. Or he'd silently sneak along the walls, trying to eavesdrop.

manlikerealities

There's Only One Tooth Fairy

"Daddy, can I be a digger when I grow up?"

"You can be whatever you want when you grow up honey."

"No I can't! I can't be the tooth fairy!"

-An exchange between my little sister at 5 and my dad.

Bonus:

IWantFries21

Just Trying To Help Out

I went to a Christian private school so in kindergarten, we were taught Bible stories all the time. There was one story about a woman who got stoned because she had children and wasn't married. Now, I recall my kindergarten teacher saying she had children, AND we referred to her as "Miss" so that meant she was unmarried.

Also, she had these bumps on her face (I know NOW that they were just warts), but at the time, I thought those were marks that she got from getting stoned.

I literally went up to her and told her she should get married or she'll be stoned. She told my parents -_-

Giant_Anteaters

It's Called Kid Size For A Reason, Kid

Kid comes into where I work with parents, he's very smart and adorable throughout the ordering process.

"Um I want a...a...a fettuccine alfredo please!"

I look at his mom and ask "kids size?"

As she nods he ecstatically says "yeah yeah! a kids size, I'm a kid so that makes sense!"

Cue me laughing and assuring him that that makes perfect sense, he's correct.

goldxoc

This Kid's Going Places

Me: You can have one piece of cake.

My son: Eats cake

Me: Ok time for bed.

My son: But you said I could have a piece of cake!

Me: You had one.

My son: But that one's gone, so I don't have any cake.

RoadOdeLoad

Saving Time

I asked the six year-old son of a co-worker was drawing something, "What's your favorite color?"

He says, without hesitation, "White!"

I paused for a second and asked, "Why white?"

"Because you don't have to color it."

Hazytea019

Consciousness In Kind

I mentioned something to my 4 year old niece about how we used to live in another place before she was born.

Her response: "How were you all still alive before I was born?" She had the most perplexed look on her face.

I think she legitimately believed that before she was born, life didn't exist and that we were all created after she was born.

dailydonuts16

Sibling Damage

When I was little my sister pushed me into the door frame and I cracked my head open. My parents couldn't see how bad the cut was because there was so much blood. I wouldn't let them wash it because I was afraid the water would get in and drown my brain. (Of course little me didn't tell them this reason).

The next day when the blood had all dried and they could actually see the damage it turns out I probably should have gotten stitches/staples.

ImACraftyHooker

Adulthood Means Never Having To Say You have Parents

I was doing work experience at a kindergarten and one of the kids asked me whether I had parents and I said yes. A little while later, she and another child were comparing heights and the following happened:

Boy: But tsucee's taller than all of us!

Me: That's because I'm an adult!

Girl, looking absolutely confused: But you said you have parents!

tsucee

The Atlantloch

I'm Irish and grew up beside a Loch which is like a salt water lake. You could clearly see the other side, buildings, trees etc.

I knew America was across the sea so for a long time I thought the couple of wee towns over there were the USA

Marwood29