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Man Ponders Kicking Out His Widowed Sister And Her Kids After She Makes Rude Comment To His Pregnant Wife

A widow unable to make rent overstayed her welcome after she and her two daughters were invited to live with her brother and his wife.

The 27-year-old woman had tragically lost her husband eight months ago.


Redditor "concernedhubbyyy" and his wife graciously accommodated the grieving sister—who was a stay at home mom—until she could get back on her feet. Cut to six months later and the Original Poster (OP) found the living arrangement no longer bearable.

The 31-year-old asked WIBTA (Would I Be the A**hole) if he kicked his sister out of the house.

"It was fine the first couple of months. Obviously she was grieving and dealing with my nieces grieving the loss of their dad. But now 6 months in, she's becoming difficult to live with."

The OP described the growing list of the sister's irksome behavior around the house.

"All day, she'll kick her feet up and watch tv while her daughters run around the house making a mess."
"My wife is now 7 months pregnant with our 1st child and because she's at home, she's been the one having to clean up after them, making sure they eat etc."

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The self-entitlement became evident and matters intensified when the sister began demeaning the OP's expectant wife.

"I talked to my sister many times about this, but she'd always defend herself saying my wife was exaggerating and 'anyways, this is good practice for when your kid gets here.'"
"We'd argue over it until she promised to help out. Nothing has improved and even worse, she started to say inappropriate things to my wife.
"Like implying the baby probably isn't mine because she's seen how hot our neighbor is and would constantly ask my wife if he's the real father."

The sister continued making horrible remarks about the wife's pregnancy.

And then one day, the sister took it way too far.

"Our pregnancy was an unplanned yet happy surprise so anytime my wife complained about how tired she was or how much her ankles ached, my sister would always comment that we should've ab*rted then."
"The final nail in the coffin was the other night when my sister said something about my wife's weight that made her cry. My wife's belly has really grown and it's made her extremely self conscious."
"When my sister saw her, she said 'Jesus are you sure you're not having triplets? You're fat as f***' and then laughed it off."

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"When my wife left crying, her response was saying my wife was so dramatic and she doesn't know how I put up with her crying all the time."
"The issue with my sister is ever since we were little, she's always had this habit of saying whatever comes to mind no matter how rude or insensitive it is and to her, she acts like they're jokes. She never cared if it hurt anyone's feelings."

With the current health crisis, the OP struggled with coming to a decision about kicking dear old sis out of the house.

"I am so sick of her and it's putting a lot of stress on my wife. I want to do what's best for my wife and kick my sister out, but with how things are right now, I don't know where she can go."
"And I feel it wouldn't be fair to my nieces since this isn't their fault. Yes, she lost her husband and she's not used to having to take care of herself, let alone her family, but I have my wife and our baby to think about."
"I really want her out of the house by the end of the week, I just don't know how bad that would make me as her older brother to make her leave with no other home to go to. WIBTA if I kicked her out asap?

Redditors came to his rescue with some legitimate options and clearly declared him as NTA (Not the A**hole).

"Give her 30 days instead of a week, you don't want them to end up somewhere sh**ty because they didn't have time to look."
"Get her out. She needs to go. Too much disrespect and ungrateful behavior." – emmalikesplants
"OP, the first step is to adopt the mindset that your decision to protect your family (wife and soon-to-come child) is the morally-correct one. That aim has a higher priority than all others."
"Once you adopt this mindset, you'll insulate yourself from guilt after you deliver the message to your sister."
"Some of the guilt will come from inside you (for example, you may ask yourself 'Am I a terrible person?') But most of the guilt will probably come from your sister."
"No disrespect to your sister, but her behavior is consistent with guilting people who stop doing things for her."
"That's why your mindset is so important. Sometimes the right decisions are the hardest of all to make, especially when they affect your family."
"Being confident in your decision and committed to seeing it through is easier when you've determined that it is the correct one given your circumstances." – BobbingForBunions

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And if money wasn't an issue, there's this:

"If you want your conscience squeaky clean, give her 30 days and offer to pay the first month's rent and security deposit."
"You don't mention any financial hardship here. If you can afford that send-off money, do it." – ThisIsPaulina

For those who've expressed concern over tenants' rights during the pandemic in which landlords cannot evict someone over a set course of time depending on the city, this person offered:

"OP's sister is a guest, not a tenant. She does not have any tenant rights in this situation and he can ask her to leave with no notice at all." – sparx1_1

Although the sister is not a paying tenant whose name is on a lease, this Redditor believes the brother could still be liable for "evicting" her.

"I do not think that that is true. She has been living there for eight months. She is receiving mail there. Her stuff is there."
"A judge isn't going to care if you call her a 'guest' - she's a non-rent paying tenant of the home."
"You don't have to pay rent to be considered a tenant. If his sister wants to be a pain, she can force him to legally evict her... which puts him in a bind because, depending on where they live, evictions are suspended."
"All that being said, OP is NTA and his sister most definitely is, and his sister NEEDS to go. He needs to give her a thirty day notice, in writing, today."
"She should have plenty of money saved up by now - after all, she's been coasting for eight damn months - to get her own apartment with her kids, and it is time for her to be a mother instead of watching OP's wife mother her kids." – JaydeRaven
"That laws are different depending on where a person lives."
"OP might want to check to confirm that even if she isn't paying rent, she may need to be evicted if she doesn't leave willingly."
"Especially, if OP's address is on her drivers license, she may be considered a tenant." – Devansffx

With the exception of rent-controlled cities in the U.S., landlords can issue a 30-day or 60-day notice to vacate a tenant if they are on a month-to-month lease.

Terminology also varies by state.

Depending on the region, a tenant sharing the same address as an owner could be considered a roommate like this Redditor.

"Where I live, OP's sister would qualify as a roommate because she is living with the owner of the house (assumeably OP and wife)."
"As such, OP would be able to kick sister out with much less warning and not have as much legal recompense if she came after him for it."
"However, the next city over, she would qualify as a tennant, not a roommate. Which would mean OP would have to go through the eviction process as stated by my region." – fallen_star_2319

This Redditor offered a different solution to keep the sister in the household while also protecting the pregnant wife's mental health and well-being.

"Yeah, but you gotta understand...the sister considered herself a stay at home mom.' Where do you think she gonna find a place to even stay?"
"Section 8 is POS and she look like the type that probably drove her husband to death, the way she going on about and the fact that she let the kids run around without any care for the pregnant mom."
"What I would had one is put them in the garage, and let them know that they can only come into the house for food and bathroom use only. Anything else is a no-no."
"Too much stress and the mother-to-be could miscarry and the sister look like the type to mock them about it." – ZenDendou

It's time for the sister to get some tough love.

"NTA- I would give her a two weeks notice just because of the fact she has kids."
"She can use those two weeks to find a new place. I would have snapped when she said you should have ab*rted the baby. That crossed the line."
"Are your parents or her widow's parents able to take her in? I would also tell her she needs to start looking for a job. You are beyond generous for letting her live there for so long."
"Also, If she comes to you later and says she's starving, give her food directly, not money."
"You've given her the warnings. Just be firm on the two weeks." – medadvice1867

If the sister's behavior is any indication, she is on track to being the worst aunt ever.

Hopefully, her brother can give her an ample amount of time to clean up her act or she'll need to find a new place to live.