LGBTQ people should be prideful about who they are.
But that doesn't mean they're required to go around announcing their sexual identity, full disclosure, to every stranger they meet.
"Where can I catch the 'C' Train? Great! thank you. By the way, I'm gaaaay."
orange is the new black no GIF Giphy
It's not about hiding who you are—it's just nobody's business.
However, that's not how a group of ladies saw it when the son of a photographer dropped by to run an errand in his father's stead. When Redditor "notinterestedgirl"—a 23-year-old gay male—was asked to hand over his father's work at a client's office, his affable charm and winsome looks won the attention of some of the women working there.
The Original Poster (OP) later discovered that he should've given a heads up about liking guys and asked AITA (Am I the A**hole) for not telling the women he was homosexual.
"So I (23M, turning 24 soon) am gay. I've been out since I was 18 and I've never hidden it, but I don't like actively mention it or broadcast it cos it's literally nobody's business."
"The first person I came out to was my dad (40) and he has always been supportive of me. He was 16 when I was born and practically raised me as a single dad so we have an exceptionally close relationship. Anyway onto the story."
"My dad recently turned 40, only earlier this month. He had a huge party and drank a bit too much and was severely hungover the following morning."
"He's a freelance photographer and had accepted a contract with a local business and was meant to hand in some photography work he'd done to them the morning after his birthday."
hangover im never drinking again GIF Giphy
"He was too hungover to do so, so he asked if I'd do it, he called their office to tell them he was sending his son with the work and I went in."
"Everything was fine and I ended up meeting a bunch of people he's currently working with. They knew I was my dad's son as he talks about me with them."
But the father didn't disclose everything about his son, because why would he?
"I got some conversation with them to be nice and a few of the younger women started I guess flirting with me?"
"A few of them called me attractive and stuff like that and I kinda just stood there awkwardly."
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The OP casually played along and didn't think anything of it.
"It was just wild that straight women were hitting on me. I didn't encourage it or anything but I didn't say anything as I was too embarrassed and I eventually said I had to run and off I went."
The next day, the OP's father discovered that his son was quite the talk of the town and the ladies had a burning question.
"My dad went in the day after and he was questioned about if I was single. He said no, I wasn't and that I had a boyfriend and that was all he said."
The ladies concealed their embarrassment with a conniption fit.
"Well, turns out these women then started blatantly calling me for an AH as I apparently let them embarrass themselves by openly hitting on me when there was no chance I'd ever be interested."
"My dad did fight my corner and said that I was literally there to just drop off his work and that I had no obligation to disclose I was gay."
"I'm thankful my dad's on my side but these women calling me an AH kinda makes me feel bad for not saying anything.
Redditors saw OP as innocent and NTA (Not the A**hole).
"nta. It's none of their business, really. If they are embarrassed that they hit on a stranger, maybe they shouldn't hit on strangers." – EmeraldJonah
He was still befuddled over what happened and replied:
"It's just wild to me that they did this in their place of work. I was only there to drop off my dads work."
Many Redditors commented on the women's "super inappropriate behavior."
"Could you imagine how utterly gross it would be if the genders were flipped like holy sh*t."
"Not that it isn't still gross." – AX-10
"To you and others here, sure, but to the common public it would definitely be grosser if it was a bunch of dudes doing that to a woman." – Fyne_
"Yet another reason why social standards suck..I feel super bad for the OP who is 100% NTA. He absolutely didn't have to state his sexual orientation at all." – Samantha_39
"NTA their behavior, as you've described, is called 'sexual harassment' - especially if it was unwanted and made you feel uncomfortable." – bored2death2
Users noted the representation of power play potentially compromising his father's business relationship.
"I would be careful stating that so certainly."
"Yes, women are more often hurt by rejected men than the other way around, but that doesn't make it less bad for those men who it does happen to."
"And being harassed by your dad's coworkers is annoying and intimidating, no matter your gender. These are still people who you can't just outright reject, because if you're rude it might negatively affect your dad's work."
"So in a way, there's a power imbalance here. Just like when a woman can't safely reject a man without fear of the consequences." – PoisonTheOgres
"It being their place of work give them an advantage in power dynamics and could be against their code of conduct."
"I mean if they came over to see the photos and did this it would still be rude of them but it would at least be better if you ask me as they aren't on the clock and can act more causal and less professional." – n0eticF0x
These people from different perspectives all agreed.
"I'm gay. Women hitting on me get a blank stare and that's it. They are being immature." – pattystangerknowsit
"Exactly the right way to handle it. You shouldn't be forced into making personal declarations just because you're not interested."
"And honestly, that goes for anyone hitting on anyone, regardless of gender or orientation or relationship status: A lack of response/no return flirting should be enough to make you stop."
"The other person's disinterest might be disappointing, but it's not actually an insult -- it's a reality when attraction, willingness, and timing are at play." – oregonchick
"I'm a woman - they are the AHs. Super inappropriate & unprofessional to hit on you in the first place (bordering sexual harassment), and straight up UNBELIEVABLE that they'd think you're an a**hole for not disclosing your sexuality to a bunch of strangers who are making you uncomfortable with their behaviour." – 10FightingMayors
"Some women are just stupid. Coming from another woman. You don't have to say anything. Someone could hit on you and you don't have to disclose anything. They should see you aren't into it and stop. Their fault for being dumb." – Jubilee_10
"Staight male, you're NTA. the women could have dropped it after your father said you had a bf, they choose to lash out and call you an AH.. They are the AHs." – michhendrix
By the way, kudos to dad.
"That's ridiculous they had the audacity to complain about embarrassing THEMSELVES, not you embarrassing them. Your dad sounds like a great guy btw. Glad you guys have a such a good relationship." – RubberBandHam
"Your dad is the dude." – KleeKat
People who don't get their way are known to blame the other person for their shortcomings.
"A lot of AITA boils down to people being upset or embarrassed at their own behavior and looking for someone else to blame as TA leaving the target thinking, 'Wait, AITA?' No, you're NTA."
"And if you'd said you were gay, some might have been embarrassed that you were daring to imply that they wanted you and blamed you for that." – mbbaer
"THIS Its a lose-lose when unrequited feelings are involved. The other person is always going to be mad about rejection and find ANY way to shift that sh**ty feeling." – GarrZillarr
"Ding ding ding. Winner here! Reverse the sexes and you've got an attractive young lesbian walking into a business where there are a bunch of horn dog guys flirting with 'the cute chick.'"
"No need to feel an ounce of guilt over the behavior of people who think and act with their hormones, then get all butt hurt when they belatedly realize they're barking up the wrong tree." – havereddit
The only crime the OP committed here was being easy on the eyes.
Look, things may not always be as they seem, but there's no reason to get worked up over failed expectations.
...here in two styles.