Former Prisoners Share Things About Being Locked Up Most People Don't Know

Law-abiding citizens have a general sense of prison life enough to stay out of trouble.

But are dramatic TV shows like HBO's Oz and Netflix's Orange is the New Black exaggerated depictions of life behind bars or worse?

Hopefully, many of us will never have to find out for ourselves.

Those who've had firsthand experience paying for their crimes and made it back to society shared their personal experiences when Redditor gabbygabs331 asked:

"Ex prisoners of Reddit what is something about prison that a lot of people don’t know?"

Some circumstances are reasonable to deal with.

Contradiction

"It's a lot more relaxed than people would guess, common knowledge of prison has come from media that dramatizes the conflicts and violence. There is conflict and violence, but unless one places themselves in a position to be targeted, it's unlikely they will be."

– AgreeablePollution7

Easy To Swallow

"Can only speak for Australian prisons, but the food can be incredible if you're lucky and they let the prisoners cook."

"Every chef is on drugs and will eventually spend time locked up, so you can have the entire kitchen of a prison be top class chefs."

"Seriously, the best crumbed chicken I've ever had in my life was in Pentridge in the mid 90s. So crisp and full of flavour. 25 years and I've never had anything which has come close to how nice it was. Wish I know who cooked it so I could visit their restaurant, lol."

– Restart_from_Zero

"The food! I’ve worked for a lot of prisons and jails and you are spot on. If they have a cooking program it’s going to be amazing, even something as simple as a hamburger will be perfect. We had a 30-year guy coming out. He had found God and not had a single infraction in a decade."

"Warden, me and some others all told him his desserts were amazing. He was stunned when we explained that food trucks charge like $5 for a single cookie. Last I heard, someone hooked him and his PO in with a local bakery that was closing down because of the owner's age."

"He now owns the business with five new parole employees making loafs of bread and cookies for food trucks and catering companies. I hear he pays everyone well, but the old timer also bought an apartment building to help give long-term housing to his employees."

"I asked if the dude is gouging any of the ex-inmates and was told nah, he legit thinks God made this all come together, and this is his mission to keep everyone straight and narrow."

– EnaicSage

Emotional Support

"Here in Wisconsin, there’s a volunteer organization that trains guide dogs. All guide dogs in this program are housed at a prison and trained by an inmate for a portion of every dog's puppy raising process."

– X-Winter_Rose-X

"In many prisons in the UK, dogs, particularly cute ones, are allowed in prisons as therapy dogs."

"Apparently you can often take the hardest, most manly prisoner and they'll become an absolute softy around a cute dog."

"On the other hand, the security dogs, don't muck about around them."

– newsgroupmonkey

No one ever called prison life paradise.

Assaulting The Senses

"How loud it is ALL THE TIME. Damn near deafening."

– 02217739

"And when it gets quiet, it's time to start paying attention to what's going on."

– Xtort_

"I'm a prison officer and I can confirm this. When there's nothing happening, and everyone is quiet, something big is about to go down."

– jessipepper27

Ambient Nightmare

"I’ve only done jail for three weeks. Besides the boredom, the worst part was the jits that wouldn’t stop bangin’ out beats on everything metal once it was lights out."

– FjordExplorer

Going Numb

"Prison is mostly boredom, trading items to get by, and staying alert to avoid trouble. The mental toll and overcrowding make it harder than people think."

– MichelleZoeyGrace5

"Prison is really just an annoying and boring grind for a lot of inmates. They are in there doing their time or dealing with their legal situation and one inmate told me 'the worst is when we get a junkie that acts like he's still in the crackhouse and we gotta go deal with him.' "

– Noggin-a-Floggin

Not Pleased To Make Your Acquaintance

"You meet a lot of people in there you really wish you didn't meet."

– StationOk7229

"On the flip side of that, you meet a lot of funny MFs in there. Especially the quick-witted meth heads... Omg, you ever get one of them going in a poker/pinochle game... MFS are hilarious. Some of the funniest guys I've ever met were there. I laughed till I cried multiple times. Probably a coping mechanism, but still..."

– Handy_Dude

Now you know.

Tit-For-Tat

"A lot of people don’t realize how much trading goes on inside. It’s not just cigarettes everything has value, from ramen noodles to stamps. The barter system is huge, and sometimes it feels like an economy all on its own."

– oneidamorawiakikcii

"We used packs of Fish Mackerels as money. 3 fish mackerels = 1 cigarette."

– DifferentPost6

"And once you get a debt it WILL be collected. If you can't pay up on payday (when the canteen gets delivered), the consequences are dire."

– Noggin-a-Floggin

Day To Day

"There are a lot of talented people in prison. Artists who can draw sexual pictures are popular."

"There are genuinely nice, decent people in prison who just did stupid things."

"Prison is damn noisy. 24/7."

"You get used to having no privacy/using toilets in front of cell mates or having officers see you shower."

"Many inmates abuse the medical system to get strong painkillers like Lyrica or other drugs which can give a high if taken in larger doses."

"There are good education opportunities in prison if you avail of them. Some inmates even get limited access to laptops to do open university courses etc (no internet)."

"Lifers get more perks than temp prisoners. They have nothing to lose really, so they are kept happy."

"Some prisons have Netflix etc. No choice as to what they put on, but still..."

"Some prisons even allow old xBox 360 or PlayStation 2 consoles."

"Trusted prisoners often work as counselors and get training by The Samaritans. They save lives by helping prisoners cope, especially new prisoners."

"Prison becomes normal very quickly. You get used to the restrictions and just get on with it."

"You only reform if you really want it. Being in prison itself doesn't make it happen. Prison honestly isn't a good solution. For every person that comes out better, 10 come out worse, and with no fear or prison and better criminal knowledge/connections."

"Going back to work after getting out from a long sentence is hard. You get used to being lazy and surviving on little money. You kinda reject societal norms once that society has punished you so severely by taking years of your life."

"Ireland BTW."

– AlienInOrigin

There's No Going Back

"You've heard of for-profit prisons, but it starts well before and ends well after prison."

"Everything has a cost: parole (you pay a parole fee), community service (you pay a community service fee), court costs, you owe the state for part of the cost of you being in jail. Restitution (paying back the people hurt by your crime). Ankle monitor, on your tab. Can't pay? Parole revoked, back to jail with no chance of re-parole / you must serve your full sentence because you violated conditions of your parole."

"The biggest scams are the halfway houses. They were about $1500 a month in my town to share a dormroom with, well, another ex-con. Can't pay? Parole revoked, back to prison."

"And remember that you're supposed to be paying all this on whatever job you can get as a felon. Do you know how many jobs, like Wendy's or even Kroger, tell you to GTFO when you answer that you have a felony conviction? I couldn't work at a library. What, you think I'm going to steal a library book?"

"If you have a substance-related conviction (and sometimes, even if you don't... eg me), you have to do regular drug testing. You're paying for that, of course. Can't pay? Back to prison. It was like $128 a month for 2x month drug testing. And again, my conviction wasn't drug-related."

"My roomie did have a drug-related conviction, so he had to do three random drug tests a week (that he had to pay for). He almost got sent back to prison (2 of 3 strikes) for testing 'dilute'; that is, his urine was too watery. He was walking home in 95* heat (can't have a car at this halfway-house) and was, you guessed it, drinking water."

"I did the math, and I owed about $2200 / month in mandatory court expenses, that if I did not pay, I would go back to jail. That was something like 200 hours of work/month, before taxes and not even considering food. And I had a fairly good job, especially for a convicted felon."

"But the best part was the judge that sentenced both of us owned the halfway house. He was a partial owner. Talk about cash 4 kids."

"The system is absolutely, 100% designed to send you back to prison. There is simply no way a normal ex-con can get out of the 'cycle' on their own."

– persondude27

While some of the common experiences, like the incessant loud noises, extreme boredom, and the occasional bartering among inmates, are accurate, prison life, according to these ex-convicts, doesn't seem as outrageous as the continuous violence depicted on TV.

Nevertheless, the bottom line is simple: Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.