Say What?: The Dumbest Things People Have Ever Said Out Loud

First Time For Everything

"“Well she never got pregnant before,” after his girlfriend got pregnant and after asking my friend why didn’t he use protection."

– tuotone75

"I've never died before so I won't ever."

– Rakgul

"Should’ve checked to see if there was a history of pregnancy in the family."

– hogliterature

Time Difference

"I was microwaving some food, I hit the 1 so it would automatically cook it for a minute. My friend asked “Why did you put it in for a minute? I usually put mine in for 60 seconds”. I had to explain to him that it’s the same thing. We were in high school."

– Gambit_Finale

"I have a similar one. Had to explain to someone that 0:90 on the microwave was the same as 1:30. They kept insisting 1:30 was more, and that I was crazy."

– Atheist_Alex_C

Where Does Our Food Come From?

"That there's no difference between turkey and ham because "they both come from birds."

"I guess pigs really do fly in their world."

– JustForKicks36

"I had a friend in college who asked me very seriously, "so if beef comes from cows, and pork comes from pigs, what animal does chicken come from?""

– not_ur_avg

And When Does It Come Back?

"“How long does it take the meat to grow back on a cow when you shave it off?”"

– Bright_Ad_2848

"Average "Hay Day"-player."

– The-One-Winged-Angel

"Making hamburgers is not an outpatient procedure."

– tritium_awesome

This Is The Real World

"A new hire at the cotton mill that had dropped out of school to go to work:"

""How long do we get off for spring break?""

– TrailerParkPrepper

"Oh welcome to real life you poor child."

– Bucksin06

Poor Guy

"This involves a conversation with a guy I used to work with who was trying to lose weight so he was cutting down on pasta."

"Him : I've been doing pretty good, haven't had pasta in 2 weeks."

"Me : That's awesome, what's that you got in your hand there?"

"Him : Mac and Cheese."

"Me : I thought you said you haven't had pasta in 2 weeks?"

"Him : I haven't, this is Mac and cheese."

– highfivesforgod

Not How It Works

"If you drink a coke & then a diet coke, the sugar cancels out."

– ScribblingOff87

With Magic, Sure

"I was solving a Rubik's cube and a guy asked me how many sides it has and if I can make them all blue."

– MrLambNugget

Yikes!

"Friend and his girlfriend were over. Watching some TV when an ad for an Anne Frank documentary comes on."

"GF: "oh, wasn't she like Hitler's daughter or something?" The room became very quiet for awhile."

– 1WaldoJeffers1

"I guess it's "or something""

– candangoek

"A moment of silence for a dumb friend."

– sunpies33

*Cringes*

"The question right above this in my feed is: “Why’s a square called a square when it has six sides and eight corners?”"

"The sub was NoStupidQuestions"

– 12345_PIZZA

"The premise of the sub has been disproven. Time to shut it down."

– cbusalex

""Sir, that's called a cube.""

– ThisWasAValidName

It Never Did

"“What year did this happen?”"

"We were watching The Lord of the Rings."

– OverTheCandlestik

Not The Lakes

"I was in seventh grade history and the teacher asked a student which ocean Christopher Columbus crossed to get to America. She said she didn’t know and the teacher replied by asking “how many oceans can you name? It’s gonna be one of them.""

"The girl thinks for a moment and says “Lake Champlain… Lake Geo-""

"The teacher cut her off by saying “if it has the word lake in it, it’s probably not an ocean.”"

– thecrimsonf**kr23830

The Whole Country Does

"Was on the bus headed to class in Honolulu, a Southerner got on and asked the driver"

""Do y'all take American Dollars?""

"The driver pointed at the American flag sticker on the window and with extreme exasperation said"

""You're in America.""

– revjor

​Coffee Conundrums 

"When I worked at Starbucks it was frequent question from customers to explain the difference between a hot and an iced drink…"

– Real_Pea5921

"I work at Starbucks, holy sh*t our customers are a different breed."

"I had one lady ask why her drink had so many small bits of ice in it when she wanted it blended."

"I have had more than one person ask for hot coffees but iced and vise versa."

"I've had people ask if cold brew was/could be made hot."

"The list with Starbucks customers goes on and on..."

– PanPenguinGirl

"Can I get hot coffee cold? No I don’t want cold coffee! I want hot coffee but cold!"

– Surviving2

...Well, Yeah

"I heard a similar story about someone who had driven across border from the U.S. to Canada."

"To paraphrase: "They checked my ID and inspected my entire car! It was like I was entering a foreign country!""

– anfrind

Oh My Lord...

Enough said.

Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comment below.